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I'm not saying I have some complete solution; what I'm saying is that the nature of their problem is centered around social interaction. You're giving me all these reasons that would apply to some really primitive human, but they're not primitive and not entirely human. Their situation is like say that of a group of tigers, since we were talking about them, that are trying to use our social system; it just doesn't work and it's waste to try and make it work. They have the power to change their very DNA should they pursue it, and just one child is able to decimate a small army, while being barely able to stand—pretty sure they'd be fine.
Even their solution is just a another version of what I described; it's application just makes it more familiar.
There are sugar coated versions too, for example: what if there was a law that nobody could be near more then one other person in a range of several kilometers.
Or a romantic version if you like: the entire society is focused on the warrior code and constantly fight each other, with the pupil interacting with his master or after leaving his master, his husband/wife, and nobody else. When a child is born the mother or father become their master and the other goes on their way.
Better then the whole pruning for the sake of clinging to, what is in their world, an obsolete system that's just rotting away. But don't get me wrong, I'm sure if something were to happen to our society to cause the current system to become a handicap (ai, alien contact, immortality, whatnot), we would still cling hopelessly to it too, just as we cling to obsolete laws like the patent laws (created in an age were knowledge was precious and advances slow, to encourage sharing).
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