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(blah blah blah)ので(blah blah blah)
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It's not an expression that can be succinctly explained in English... but, literally, it means something like "due to"... but then again, it's not exactly that, either. It depends on the context, and it is kind of formal speech.
If you can rationalize a mixture of what the particles の and で mean, you will get the idea, but you need to abstract yourself from your native language.
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and the 私はonehpといいます to name a few.
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と, besides meaning "and", is a particle that indicates that the preceding statement is a quote of
some sort. In this case, imagine "onehp" between quotation marks and perhaps you'll get the gist of it. Then again, "quoted" statements are very, very common in Japanese, and are not used like in most (if not all) Western languages.