[hobobaggins]

green, methuselah, brilliant.

some from me.

911 operators are sworn to keep a straight face and take all calls seriously, even when someone says, "Yeah, there's a moose running around out here with an Easter basket stuck around his neck."

One should remember that calling 911 is sometimes a public service, done for the benefit of others. One elderly male caller reported, "There's a woman over here doing some yard work in one of thong bikinis."

"Sir," said an exasperated dispatcher, "911 is an emergency number. What do you expect the police to do about a woman in a thong bikini?"

"Nothing," the guy said, "Just thought you fellows would like to know."

Of course, so many folks have 911 set on speed dial that there are still a lot of false alarms. One couple knocked a bedside phone off the hook while they were in throes of hot sex.

A 911 dispatcher heard moaning and screaming in the background, and figured somebody might be bound and gagged and desperately calling for help. The police snapped into action, responding to a "possible assault in progress."

In the same manner, a cat and a tomato also called 911 in similar fashion.

source http://www.fcema.org/911/911_humor.htm

and a non-911 joke

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator
told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if
I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up
there?"