Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk
Eratas...sorry, I'm going to put my military freak hat on now...
Those must be the two STUPIDEST "Commandoes" I've ever met. - They fail at Radio silence
- They don't cover each other properly as two-man teams do
If they were unprofessional and intentionally stupid (EG like the Dunois Security people I had <Ren> beat the crap out of) in my first story, I would suggest making it pretty obviosu to the reader that that's so...
Essentially, it's similar to or the same as the Accel vs Hound Dogs scene in the Index anime. |
No problem
I really don't know how to write military scenes and that's why I'm writing this right now. I'd appreciate any advice you could give me because it will help when I start writing "what lies in shadows" again.
I'm also going for a bit of the worf effect here. They were cocky because they thought they could beat him easily and they were armed to the teeth too so they didn't expect this one teenager to start picking them off one by one, if you remember in the first part Mark ignored <Ren>'s advice because he assumed they could easily finish it up. They even switch roles in the team to provide a balance but this poses the problem that no one is specifically good at anything, just average over all.
Of course, this will make it all the more apparent how strong <Ren> is when she goes there and utterly demolishes his ass.
The hound dogs scene was exactly where I got this scene though
Don't worry, the part after this won't be copied from index any more.