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FDW · 2011-11-05, 20:03

Well, it's that time of the week again, let's see what the birdie likes this time:

New York (Jets) at Buffalo, Winner: Buffalo. Justification: Buffalo's having a breakout season, the Jets are decent but they don't seem to be heading anywhere, so it's the Bills day.

Seattle at Dallas, Winner: Tossup. Justification: My Narrative states that Seattle is a team slowly recovering from the abyss, a team that might get as many as 8 wins this season (though more likely 6 or 7). My Narrative also states that Dallas is a team that is in limbo: not good enough to get all the way to the Superbowl, but not bad enough to get good enough draft picks that would be necessary for a proper rebuilding. A win for Seattle would confirm my Narrative that the Seahawks are indeed improving and also that the Cowboys are a declining team, destined to spend several years in the abyss (which fits into my Narratives for the future of the NFC East: A division with three shit teams and team that is decent but gets inflated win totals due to said shit teams). A Dallas win would also confirm the current status quo I've predicted for the Cowboys, they'll still likely end up as shit in this scenario, but it'll take a bit longer for them to get there. And yes, one should expect Tony Romo to throw at least three Interceptions. Oh yeah, the Cowboys will likely end up as Slaaneshi worshipers after this game.

Atlanta at Indianapolis, Winner: Atlanta. Justification: Obvious.

Miami at Kansas City, Winner: Miami. Justification: This is one of my contrarian picks of the week, chosen due to my Narrative for the Raiders.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans, Winner: New Orleans. Justification: The NFC South has really shaped up to be a competitive division ever since it's been created, and the Saints aren't the team that won the Super Bowl two and a half years ago, but the Bucs haven't quite proven themselves to be an elite team yet.

San Francisco at Washington, Winner: San Francisco. Justification: Garbaugh continues the story of the miracle by the bay, and the Redskins start worshiping Nurgle in a desperate attempt to turn their season around, they fail though.

Clevland at Houston, Winner: Houston. Justification: The Texans take another baby-step towards their first ever playoff run, oh how they grow up so fast. Meanwhile, The Browns still suck donkey dick.

Cincinnati at Tennessee, Winner: Cincinnati. Justification: The Bungles starting to look really good again, and with team young enough to envisioned as a bunch of shounen heroes and even further hilarious implications if they make it to the Super Bowl.

Denver at Oakland, Winner: Oakland. Justification: Carson Palmer may be a Question Mark, but Tim Tebow is an Exclamation Point. Expect The Raiders to attempt a fake punt at least once.

New York (Giants) at New England, Winner: Tossup. Justification: The only thing I can say the regardless of who wins or loses, Tzeentch has dastardly plans for the Giants, Eli Manning's obliviousness aside…

St. Louis at Arizona, Winner: Arizona. Justification: The Cardinals have generally been much more competitive in it's games than The Rams, so the games in their favor.

Green Bay at San Diego, Winner: Green Bay. Justification: Fact: The 1972 Dolphins team made a deal with the devil to ensure that as long as least one of them was still of this world, that no NFL team would have a perfect season. Fact: The Chargers have not won a game against a team with a record of .500 or better (Yes, the Kansas City games count, as KC had a record below .500 in the first game and a record of exactly .500 in the second.)

Baltimore at Pittsburgh, Winner: Fuck it, Pittsburgh. Justification: The Ravens are very obviously a team in decline after several strong years. So yeah, it's not because I like Pittsburgh or anything, because I don't, you got that?

Chicago at Philadelphia, Winner: Philadelphia. Justification: This will be bloody, as the newly Khornate Eagles will make sure shed much blood for the blood god, and get many trophies for the trophy throne. Expect more rioting than usual at Lincoln Financial Field.

After the games conclude I'll provide the first of three sets of playoff predictions, with the next two coming after Week 12 and Week 15.

2011-11-05, 20:03	Link #3281
FDW Zettai Ryouiki Lover Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Bay Area	Well, it's that time of the week again, let's see what the birdie likes this time: New York (Jets) at Buffalo, Winner: Buffalo. Justification: Buffalo's having a breakout season, the Jets are decent but they don't seem to be heading anywhere, so it's the Bills day. Seattle at Dallas, Winner: Tossup. Justification: My Narrative states that Seattle is a team slowly recovering from the abyss, a team that might get as many as 8 wins this season (though more likely 6 or 7). My Narrative also states that Dallas is a team that is in limbo: not good enough to get all the way to the Superbowl, but not bad enough to get good enough draft picks that would be necessary for a proper rebuilding. A win for Seattle would confirm my Narrative that the Seahawks are indeed improving and also that the Cowboys are a declining team, destined to spend several years in the abyss (which fits into my Narratives for the future of the NFC East: A division with three shit teams and team that is decent but gets inflated win totals due to said shit teams). A Dallas win would also confirm the current status quo I've predicted for the Cowboys, they'll still likely end up as shit in this scenario, but it'll take a bit longer for them to get there. And yes, one should expect Tony Romo to throw at least three Interceptions. Oh yeah, the Cowboys will likely end up as Slaaneshi worshipers after this game. Atlanta at Indianapolis, Winner: Atlanta. Justification: Obvious. Miami at Kansas City, Winner: Miami. Justification: This is one of my contrarian picks of the week, chosen due to my Narrative for the Raiders. Tampa Bay at New Orleans, Winner: New Orleans. Justification: The NFC South has really shaped up to be a competitive division ever since it's been created, and the Saints aren't the team that won the Super Bowl two and a half years ago, but the Bucs haven't quite proven themselves to be an elite team yet. San Francisco at Washington, Winner: San Francisco. Justification: Garbaugh continues the story of the miracle by the bay, and the Redskins start worshiping Nurgle in a desperate attempt to turn their season around, they fail though. Clevland at Houston, Winner: Houston. Justification: The Texans take another baby-step towards their first ever playoff run, oh how they grow up so fast. Meanwhile, The Browns still suck donkey dick. Cincinnati at Tennessee, Winner: Cincinnati. Justification: The Bungles starting to look really good again, and with team young enough to envisioned as a bunch of shounen heroes and even further hilarious implications if they make it to the Super Bowl. Denver at Oakland, Winner: Oakland. Justification: Carson Palmer may be a Question Mark, but Tim Tebow is an Exclamation Point. Expect The Raiders to attempt a fake punt at least once. New York (Giants) at New England, Winner: Tossup. Justification: The only thing I can say the regardless of who wins or loses, Tzeentch has dastardly plans for the Giants, Eli Manning's obliviousness aside… St. Louis at Arizona, Winner: Arizona. Justification: The Cardinals have generally been much more competitive in it's games than The Rams, so the games in their favor. Green Bay at San Diego, Winner: Green Bay. Justification: Fact: The 1972 Dolphins team made a deal with the devil to ensure that as long as least one of them was still of this world, that no NFL team would have a perfect season. Fact: The Chargers have not won a game against a team with a record of .500 or better (Yes, the Kansas City games count, as KC had a record below .500 in the first game and a record of exactly .500 in the second.) Baltimore at Pittsburgh, Winner: Fuck it, Pittsburgh. Justification: The Ravens are very obviously a team in decline after several strong years. So yeah, it's not because I like Pittsburgh or anything, because I don't, you got that? Chicago at Philadelphia, Winner: Philadelphia. Justification: This will be bloody, as the newly Khornate Eagles will make sure shed much blood for the blood god, and get many trophies for the trophy throne. Expect more rioting than usual at Lincoln Financial Field. After the games conclude I'll provide the first of three sets of playoff predictions, with the next two coming after Week 12 and Week 15.