I'm really liking the VN-style approach you gave your fic. An unconventional approach. Choices are good.
It also reminded me of those old "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when I was a kid.
The fic itself made for a good, solid read for the first two chapters. It particularly struck me at how close you "converted" episode 1 into text, in that I could almost imagine the scenes unfolding from memory and hear the characters' voices. I also loved the SHAFT references you placed in it. Oh, the funny, delicious irony of SHAFT characters thinking about SHAFT anime and directors.
As for the choices, I went with the ones that grabbed my interest. Just so I could take a slightly different path than the one from episode 1. I picked [1B] -> [2B] -> [3A] -> [4B]. Though in a VN context, I think that's one of the possible ways to reach a bad end.
Or the rumored, oft-joked about and mythical "harem end"
It's a shame that I was unable to abandon Kyuubey's calls for help (though I really wanted to
). I haven't watched the show that was being referenced to in that one, so I don't know who those characters are, but you placing them there makes me want to see that show now. Also, knowing you, Triple_R, North High is most likely a reference to the Haruhi franchise, yes?
About the game that naamio programmed, I think it's a great idea, building up on Triple_R's VN-style fic by taking it one step further and turning it into a VN itself. It's a great start, and with a few more talented members, it could become an actual doujin VN project. As for the "wordy" parts, I think that's simply the result of placing the entire paragraph into the text box. I suggest that the paragraphs be split into parts, with the goal of not filling up the entire box so it doesn't look too "wordy". That way, no text has to be cut to make it look less "wordy".
p.s. Triple_R, what happened to your other fic?