I'm going to be the unpopular person by reccing something most people seem to not like:
Gedo Senki. Most people seem to dislike it because 1) it's not like the books, 2) it's not a typical Ghibli film - but I found it captivating. Arren, the main char, pretty much hates himself and doesn't see the value in living, but throughout the film he grows and matures.
I dunno, I found it to be amazing. It won't fit your request for realism, but you might give it a try.