Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB
Not getting into the rest of it, but this line always irks me. Telling someone to be confident is ridiculous. I don't know about others, but I get confidence through experience. I cannot get experience because I do not have the confidence to attract girls. Ergo, I cannot gain confidence. On the other hand, those who start with some level of confidence get experience, which in turns boosts their confidence. See how you get two nice little cycles there? One positive, and one negative? How does one break out of the negative cycle? Faking confidence sure doesn't work.
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Well, you don't have to fake it. Being confident in this circumstance isn't the same as the confidence you might feel before a video game or a sport you are skilled in (well maybe for some guys it is, but I'd venture not too many of us on here
). It's more to do with that cheesy line, 'be yourself.' You just have to have the confidence not to overanalyze what you're saying or doing, not overthink, just try to have the same level of calm and collectedness you'd have among friends, while subtly (not too overtly as to be creepy/desperate) express interest romantically/physically and build rapport.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari
I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend to marry me.
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Good luck man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4
Oh, and I can't say enough for online dating. You know that the other person is interested in dating, and you know a ton about them up front. You can get a good idea of how compatible the two of you are even before ever meeting them. And hey, if you've exhausted the real-life field, why not try online? You'll find people you wouldn't otherwise. At the very least, you won't lose anything by trying. No risk, all reward.
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Yeah, it's nice. Now that I'm out of school and too busy for a proper social life (lol) I'm trying it for myself. I've gotten a few girls numbers and have been playing the texting game (ugh
). I'm trying to test the waters to transition into real life meetings, don't wanna jump the gun too soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB
For me, personally, it's the opposite. I don't know what to discuss period, so I likely appear overtly reserved.
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I have my own bizarre penchant of interests and have had trouble with this too. A good strategy is to ask generic questions, that are appropriate of course, until you find something you can talk about, even if only a minor comment. You just keep chipping away like that and eventually the whole dam bursts and you converse openly. I think it's just a mental block thing, really.