“So, let me get this straight,” Burgundy Broadside guffawed, rattling the grenades dangling from his belt as he did.
Burgundy. Red. Shooter. Gold Cub noted as he continued to overhear the conversation from behind screens of newbie help threads some avatar pages were hosting. He was reading up on colors and their significance on one screen, and user reports about the attributes of the many battle stages. The scenery around them had changed to, to a much more lush rainforest with trees the size of mountains: the Emerald Glade zone. Cub reminded himself that this was an Unlimited Accel World stage, the uninstanced part of Accel World shared with other players, then kept on speed reading.
“You, the great Maya Butcher, challenged a random scrub, and died 2s in because he threw a rock at your face?!”
The hulking avatar scoffed at a diminutive blue female sulking on top of a wrecked tree stump.
Maya. Blue. Close-combat. Overconfident.
“He just got lucky!!” Maya raged at him, gunsword raised.
“I wanted to give the destructible environment a try,” Gold replied.
"Grrr."
“Ara, what have we here?”
Cub felt himself being lifted off the ground and swaddled in warm soft arms. Like a tamed pet, he let himself go limp. It was a learned trick; he used to hate getting picked up and glomped randomly, but that was the price of being a plushie. Might as well lean back and enjoy the ride, so to speak.
“He’s so cute!” cooed the voice gently stroking his ears. “Who’s this little one?”
“A soft toy Burgy picked off the street,” Maya grumbled.
“That 1HKO’d the Butcher,” Broadside added.
“And you then dueled and one-shotted me,” Cub continued.
“Yes, THAT!” Maya flailed. “Of all people you have to lose to after defeating me!!”
Broadside laughed some more.
“...and the deal is...?” Cub asked.
“Ah, mou! I’m not talking to you again, ever!” Maya plonked back down, facing the other direction.
“Maya and Broadside have a little rivalry going,” Cub’s cuddler giggled. “That’s how their friendship works.”
“Who’s friends with that big oaf?!” Maya sulked back.
Gold Cub was tending to agree.
“I have to give you some credit, Goldy.” Broadside said. “You run pretty damn well. 30s of evading missile and M61 fire is no mean feat.”
Cub mentally noted that was something he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with in the near future.
The massive avatar gave a thumbs up.
“You’re gonna grow up to be one mean killing machine.”
“Ah...”
“Oh by the way, Winter Sky, have you noticed something about that soft toy?”
Cub could hear him grinning in his voice, and wondered why. Sky promptly turned him around, and puzzledly poured over his features. Meanwhile, Gold got an eye-full of white avatar that was somehow wearing a sundress of some sorts. Was it some kind of enhanced gear?
“He’s a lion cub!”
“Who’s a lion cub?” Said another voice as Cub heard the whoosh of an avatar zoning in behind.
“My Dearie~” Wintry said as she whirled round and thrust out her prize. “We’re talking about this little one, of course.”
Gold Cub was introduced to another massive hulk, this one more muscular (if that could be described of a mechanical humanoid) and goldenish-yellow rather than deep red. He was also tall and broad-chested like the alpha male stereotype this beefcake was. The avatar was topped off with a fanged visage ringed by darker plated mane -- this, was a leonine avatar, too.
“Golden Cub...?” Gold read off the newcomer’s nameplate.
“Gold Cub...?” Said Golden simultaneously.
There was an awkward silence, then:
“EEEH?!”
“Dearie~” Wintry cooed again. “Don’t you have some explaining to do~~?”
Gold felt a chill run up his spine as the arms around him seem to tighten. And rightly so, for Golden Cub’s color was draining out rapidly. Gold wondered if he really should look at Winter right now...
“Eh-heh?”
“This is not somebody else’s child, right~~?”
“W-Wait a minute!!” Golden Cub waved frantically as he finally got it. “T-This is not what it looks like!!”
“Oh-ho~?”
Both Cubs heard Burgundy snicker.
“You bastard!” Golden roared. “What are you up to this time?!”
“Oh yeah, Boss,” Broadside replied.
If Cub were him, he’d be wearing a Trollface emote right now.
“You told me to pick him up as a surprise, right?”
“Uuh...”
“Right?”
“Uh, yes, right! Ah yes! This was surprise, you know, er, we heard of a tiny lion avatar appearing so we went hunting for it.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be raiding bosses now, Dearie~?”
Golden seemed to be getting more desperate.
“It was a surprise, you know... But hey, even if its ruined, got to do it properly...”
Golden took Gold out of Winter’s hands and presented the duelist to Winter.
“Happy birthday, Winter!” Golden chirped, while flashing a really goofy "oh my god I'm sorry don't kill me" grin.
I am not an NPC, Cub thought.
“Oh you remembered!” Winter said, sounding like her earlier self.
Both Cubs could hear Burgy and even Maya mirthing away in the background.
“Y-Yes, of course! How could I ever forget the birthday of my lovely honey buns, eh?"
You definitely forgot!
“Aw, you shouldn’t have!” Winter wrenched Gold Cub free and squeezed him hard. “He’s sooo cute!!”
Slow down, woman! HP! I’m losing HP!! The smaller Cub thought helplessly while being rattled about by a Level 6.
“Yahoo! We’re baaack!” There was another cluster of sharper-pitched voices bursting in through the portal.
“Winter, back already?”
“And just in time too. Look what Cubby got me!”
“Heeeh?! A gold avatar version! Awesome!”
“He’s pretty cute!”
“Can I hold him? Can I? Can I?”
Held down in arms with too much stats, Gold Cub could only look at the oncoming multi-colored flock of clucky avatars and digitally scream, HELP!