Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic
Well, RB... I did it. I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.
Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.
I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.
Sigh.
I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
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Gonna put this quote up that I found on a random webpage recently:
" Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.
Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. "
It pretty much sums things up, heh. Long odds, indeed. But somehow, we keep trying, despite the pain we cause. RB said most of what I would have said, but this is just how love is. For a long time, I closed myself off to people because I hated this part. I didn't want to the pain of it, so I said I was done. The small chance wasn't worth the inevitable pain.
So, it's up to each of us: Are we willing to face the pain, in order to keep trying at love? Or do you want to close yourself off because it's safer?
At the least, because you can feel this pain, it means you're a good person at heart. Not many value the straightforward honesty, or are able to give. So that's double points for you.^^