Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi
This is not so much as asking for dating advice, but I wanted to share how I've been feeling lately. In less than 4 months I'll be getting married. As the date gets closer, I've been having feelings of excitement, but also feelings of dread. For one part, I am happy, but then another side of me gets scared of something going wrong.
I wonder what will happen after the "honeymoon stage" is over. I wonder if I'll miss my single life and if he will miss his. In fact, I talked to him about this and he also has the same feelings of excitement and dread. He also wonders if he will start missing his staying late playing videogames during weekends without thoughts of going out the next day or takings the kids to the park. He wonders if he will feel he has no alone time anymore. Yet, he says he doesn;t want to go back ever to being alone.
I feel the same way, wondering if I'll feel I lack freedom, if he will end up leaving me with all the chores (though he assures me he won't and we've sort of practiced already taking turns in the kitchen, doing dishes, etc.) It's hard to explain and after having gone through a divorce before, my fears sometimes increase.
He is great with my daughters and they like him a lot too. Sometimes, they even call him daddy. In that sense, I also fear what would happen if anything would go wrong. How the little ones would take it... I guess it's a risk I have to take and so far I think it is worth it.
On another note, I have a problem. To this day, my ex husband has no idea that I'm engaged and getting married. I don't even know if he knows I have someone though I told his brother at some point. I have no idea how to tell my ex husband or if I ought to tell him. It's confusing. My head is quite messy at the moment and my daughters tell me not to tell their father yet because even they fear how he might react. But he will eventually know somehow. Hmm...
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Most couples have their alone time; my hubby'll watch the cubs whilst I go out with friends to see a band or something... he'll go to a movie w/ his friends, and I stay home.. it works out, just involves discussion.
As for telling the ex? uhm, why? I mean, is there something in the court order that states you have to tell him about your personal life? If your daughters asked you not to mention it, I don't see why you would, in the first place.
Unless it directly affects him (or your daughters like hey we're moving) then it's none of his business IMO. He lost his chance to interfere in your personal life when you guys split, IMO