Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicious108
Sure, but I still think it's interesting to note how, looking exclusively at their relationship together, Killua has been a more intensely devoted friend, in that he's always looking out for Gon, while the latter, in spite of his also undeniably fierce loyalty, does sometimes let his excitement and impulsiveness get the better of him and consequently causes some trouble or precarious situations for Killua (or the both of them). They even half-jokingly pointed out that recurring pattern in York Shin during their escape from the Spiders:
Gon: "It's my job to say crazy stuff. Your job is to stay cool and stop me. I'm counting on you!"
Killua: "You're so selfish."
Like I said that exchange had an obviously playful tone, but there's definitely some manner of truth to it if you ask me. But don't get me wrong, the point here isn't to question Gon's loyalty, which as I've said is also quite fierce, but rather highlight the pathos of Killua's character: feeling ashamed and inadequate about his past is natural, but he's got nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to his friendship with Gon, since he's basically been the best friend a person can ask for. But then again maybe the fact that he can't just separate the two like that just goes to further show how genuine and heartfelt his desire for redemption is.
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It's not just his past. Killua knows that if it comes down to it, Gon will die for him. Impulsively, stupidly, but he will. Killua's worried that he can't do that for Gon. That, as his family taught him, he's too calculating for that kind of sacrifice. Or even for a great risk.
That's why he was about to fight Nobunaga. That question was so important to him, he neglected to actually look for a solution where they both escaped.