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Old 2011-11-12, 07:19   Link #7486
StratoSpear
Titans Test Team Pilot
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Elysium
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Stratos - I know Inami is the main character, but that doesn't mean that you should ignore the other characters.

For example: The Gospel fight could've been Ichika and Inami fighting together instead of Ichika just doing the final blow. It looks a bit like a kill steal rather than Ichika doing anything significant.
Inami couldn't do much as he's already bleeding at that point. This pretty much robs him off any chance to engage in consistent combat, let alone carrying out a joint attack manuever with Ichika which requires a lot of focus and coordination, especially for a first time.

Growing weak from the bleeding, Inami doesn't have the luxury of focus and staying coordinated as it'll mean a high risk of death for him. (And he doesn't want to risk dying since he has his promise to keep.)

Resorting to something easier, he just mustered his last remaining strength to weaken the Gospel, creating opening is for Ichika to bring it down. Since Inami called for it, it's not really a kill-steal


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Like you said, the characters do a lot of things. The problem being the fact that it's off-screen and not shown makes it harder to swallow.
Only for the Academy pilots', yes. Athena Bouclier is Inami's story, if I included stuffs done by the Academy pilots that has no relation to him(eg. school shenanigans), it would throw the pacing off.

As for the off-screen deaths of the Praxidike engineers Katori and Futtsu, I made it as such so that the revelation of Praxidike's true intentions will drive deep into Inami's emotions.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Praxidike being Inami's responsibility makes sense though. But that doesn't mean the others can't help him. The Gospel was technically Ichika's and Houki's business but the rest of the harem still interfered. They're the type of people who'd butt in even if they're not involved just to help a friend.
Hence why he allows Cecilia to volunteer taking on the drones alongside him. The others pilots just chose not to since they figured the Gospel is of a bigger threat and they know that Inami and Cecilia would be more than a match for the drones.

As for him being suicidal and holding off the Gospel on his own. He keeps mentioning that he's "looking for answers". This will be mentioned in future chapters but I'll pop it here in spoiler tabs just for info.

Spoiler for The "answers" that he seeks were:



Quote:
I'm not trying to deceive you or anything, Stratos, I know that's my fault for basically said something unproven, maybe I missed something or actually spotting something that is irrelevant.

For example, I already told you that I go : because that's exactly my expression.

Basically if everytime I reread a fic, my perceives is a bit different, notice how much I lamenting about plot holes in my own fic in last two pages and loathing my own OC that hasn't leaving the draft board. Yep, sorry for putting your fic into a bias or something, maybe I had t reread it again to be sure. My next reply will be honest as diamond, really.

Honestlly, I'm sorry, and please don't hesistate to tell when I have to shut my rude mouth.
Hey, no worries, man. I'm not angry or anything

(even though my posts might suggest otherwise... )

It's is my first fanfiction, so I'm aware that this will happen at some point, just that I need to be able to back up my pointers when they're in doubt.

I can help filling in on any doubts you may have with Athena Bouclier, just shoot.


Quote:
How does Inami work with Tabane considering what she's done? I know he's nice but it's hard to believe he'd just forgive and forget so easily. Unless he doesn't know, which causes more tension.
Inami doesn't know about it. He only knows that his parents died but it he's yet to be told how they were killed.

Moreover, while Gerald and Jinrai knows the answer to that. Even they do not know that it was Tabane herself that deliberately caused the missile to prematurely fire.

Towards the end of Athena Bouclier, Inami will learn about the nature of his parents' death. The fact that it was Tabane's fault will not be surfaced until either:

- The sequel fic
or
- I could come up with a decent scenario which doesn't involve too much angst such that Inami would just throw a punch at her face that very moment.
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