[Love Yuui]

I would prefer to be immortal, observing what is to come in future, and being able to absorb every bit of knowledge (and trivia, entertainment, etc.) I could find. However, since I know that is not a possibility, I try to expand my mind as much as possible, if not just for my own amusement.

When I think about my impending death, I don't as much reflect as not care. There are too many variables in this world for me to control how I die. If one lives a vague life and avoids said variables, then perhaps one could control their death to certain extent. However, getting to school, work, et cetera by car, bus, et cetera presents far too many possibilities that one is not able to control. The only true way to be in majority control of one's death is to be a very wealthy recluse that is able to eliminate nearly all variables (see: Howard Hughes). Although, people like that are a very small percentage, and even they like to indulge in things that require them to partcipate in the external world. Therefore, while I try to be as cautious as possible, I do not care or ponder death as it is pointless for someone in my position.

When my grandfather died (Robert Takayuki Nakasome, may he rest in peace), I didn't cry or have feelings of grief or despair. While I did sympathize with my grieving family, I was more upset that they were upset than at my grandfather's actual death. This is by no means a way of saying that he was a bad person, as he was not, and in fact, he was a great person whom which I admired. However, death is mandatory, and I have learned to accept that we will all die. No one is immune to the sands of time. I see it more as a celebration of the memory of the departed than a depressing event in which one should become unprecedentedly sad. Although, I understand why someone would mourn, as every situation is different.

Additionally, there are circumstances and various realizations that I figure cause sadness over one's death. For instance, if a father/husband/brother/son died at the age of 48 leaving a widow and kids ages 5, 16, and 21 behind there may be certain realizations that trigger sadness. For the widow, while primarily mourning her lover's death, it could also trigger fiinancial worries as well as the idea of being alone. For the 16-year-old, while primarily mourning his father's death, he may also be thinking about how his university fees will be financed, and how his little sister will be taken of if his mother has to finance his tuition alone. Thus, the 16-year-old may be upset that he now has to get a job, possibly a fulltime job at his tender age. The 5-year-old is less perceptive than her older peers, and thus, is simply mourning the loss of her daddy. The 21-year-old, while primarily mourning his father's death, may also be worried about his mother and his family's financial situation. Perhaps the 21-year-old is thinking that he should move back home and help pay the family bills, or if he should take the 16-year-old under his wing and lessen the costs of his mother? Most deaths leave behind relatives and families, and primarily expenses. It's like the Grim Reaper's way of saying, "Ha, I took your loved one, and for an bonus I'm going to take your money, too!"

Every situation is different, and life does not end once someone dies. One must, at least, try to carry on as the world does not stop for one person, no matter how damaged they are. Thus, is life.