[hell88]

Originally Posted by Fenrir_valindri

This is a rough draft for my latest chapter of "Stories from the North"

It is incomplete at the moment, but I feel like I need some rough draft readers and you guys fit the bill.

Spoiler for Chapter 8:

Confidence was something that Miria understood the value of quite well.
As a leader, Miria knew you had to be confident in your own decisions.
Displaying a lack of confidence in yourself would cause others around you to lose confidence as well, in both themselves and in you.
Overconfidence could be disastrous as well; if you displayed confidence in the success of an operation only to have it fail, people would begin questioning your decisions as leader, and confidence would falter as well.
Both could lead to disaster, and that didn’t just apply to leader, but being a warrior as well.
But Miria knew for certain it was the former, not the latter that was the problem this day.
“Guard your left Yuma!” Miria barked.
“Y-yes!” Yuma responded, her voice barely audible through her gasping.
Helen’s blow was narrowly parried by Yuma’s last minute defense.
Yuma was shocked that she actually defended against the strike.
Helen’s eyebrows rose for a moment, but she quickly pressed the attack again, continuing her assault.
Yuma managed to defend herself for 15 seconds longer before their blades locked again, and Helen swiftly overpowered and disarmed her.
“That’s enough!” Miria shouted, much to Yuma’s relief.
Yuma collapsed to the ground, her exhaustion apparent by the heavy amount of perspiration coming off her forehead.
Helen housed her blade back into its sheath, a glint of sweat on her forehead and a grin on her face.
“Not bad Yuma, I think you lasted a few seconds longer that time!” Helen declared, obviously satisfied with her victory.
“7 seconds to be exact, maybe you’re just getting sloppy Helen.” Deneve stated, her voice as deadpan as usual as she sat on a nearby rock.
Helen stuck her tongue out at Deneve and began her stroll back to the cave for some food.
“Isn’t it better to say that Yuma improved?” Cynthia offered as she plopped down next to Deneve.
“It’s hard to tell when all she does is defend.” Tabitha injected as she sat across Deneve and Cynthia’s position on the stone.
“……” Clare simply remained silent; she had watched the entire fight while leaning on the wall near the cave entrance, and walked off as soon as the fight ended.
Yuma laid where she collapsed, gasping for air, content with letting the snow assist in numbing her sore body.
Her face displayed a barely noticeable hint of disappointment as she let out a sigh that almost went unnoticed.
Almost
Miria silently watched as the others started to follow Helen’s lead and head towards the area were they stored their rations.
Yuma began to lift herself off the ground as Miria approached.
“You are on patrol with me later.” Miria ordered in her “command” voice.
Yuma looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Huh? Isn’t it Tabitha’s tur-“
“I won’t repeat myself.” Miria said, cutting her off.
“Yes m-mam.” Yuma replied, clearly intimidated by Miria’s tone.
Am I in trouble for something?


Several hours later Yuma met Miria outside the cave.
“You’re late.” Miria noted.
“S-sorry, it took me a while to explain it to Tabitha, you know how she get’s sometimes when yo-“
Yuma stopped mid-word, sneaking an uncomfortable glance at Miria.
You’re involved, they both thought, mentally completing the sentence.
Miria coughed, her cheeks turning slightly red.
“Very well, let’s go.” Miria said, taking a brisk pace.
Yuma followed her lead, already struggling to keep up.

“Miria, p-please slow down.” Yuma gasped out; Miria’s near break-neck pace was swiftly draining her stamina.
“Very well, this should be far enough” Miria stated, seemingly satisfied about something.
A confused “Huh?” was Yuma’s only response.
“I want to hear your thoughts about a few things Yuma, and I want you to answer me as honestly as possible.”
“A-alright.” Yuma managed, attempting to catch her breath.
“What is your opinion of your sparring match with Helen earlier?”
“Umm, I guess I did o-ok considering the difference in rank.” Yuma began, her gaze directed at her feet.
“And?” Miria inquired, wanting her to elaborate.
“I-I guess I’m too slow to actually attack Helen, so I decided to stay on the defensive as long as I could” Yuma continued, unsure of what Miria was looking for, she began to dig her foot into the snow a bit.
Miria simply raised an eyebrow.
“I thought about maybe t-trying to counter attack or something, but I didn’t feel like there was an opening for that, and Helen’s speed just means that it would be unlikely to land, and it would p-probably open just open up my own defense.” Yuma went on; kicking up a small bit of snow as she racked her brain for what Miria could be looking for.
“I see.” Miria stated with a mildly surprised expression on her face.
Yuma looked up hesitantly as Miria stood in front of her, her right hand covering her mouth, she looked slightly disappointed.
“A-actually, I thought it might have been possible that one time Helen looked a bit surprised, b-but-“
“But you didn’t think you could do it?” Miria asked, her face shifting to a more thoughtful expression.
Yuma simply nodded; she didn’t think landing an attack was even possible considering the difference in speed. Even concentrating on defense, Helen would eventually overwhelm her with her superior stamina and strength.
“Why am I so weak?” Yuma asked herself bitterly.
“You aren’t weak Yuma.” Miria responded, surprising Yuma.
Oh no! I was thinking aloud. Yuma thought, making sure her thoughts stayed inside her head instead of projecting out of her mouth this time.
“B-but I am, I can barely keep up when we are running, and I’m always the first one to get tired-” Yuma countered.
“Yuma-“ Miria attempted to interrupt.
“a-and I always need the most protection when we are fighting Awakened Beings, my Yoki sensing isn’t very good either, and I always being a burden for everyone else-’ Yuma continued, her feelings of self-loathing welling to the surface.
“You aren’t a burden Yuma-“
“Yes I am!” Yuma cried out, surprising both of them.
“E-even though I’m rank 40, Clare is way stronger than me, I can’t even keep up with her, she’s a better sword-fighter then me, even without her Yoki-“ Yuma said, her voice growing bitter.
“Clare is a special case-“ Miria began again.
“That doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change the fact she is at least useful!” Yuma shouted interrupting Miria once more.
“Hell, I would at least be happy if I didn’t perspire so much, at least then it wouldn’t be so obvious how pathetic I am.” Yuma was pretty sure her eyes were watering up now.
Great, I look even more pathetic now.
“…..” Miria chose to remain silent, listening to Yuma’s outburst.
“Even the others know how weak I am, Cynthia and Helen try to humor me every once in a while, but Deneve is right, it is more likely that Helen was just having a bad day then any meager improvement on my part-”
“…..”
“I’m so useless, it would have been better if someone else had survived.”
“Yuma, stop it.” Miria said quietly.
“B-but Flora, Jean, Undine, Veronica, almost anyone else would have been better than me.”
“That’s enough Yuma” Miria ordered.
“It’s true though! I’m just a giant weight dragging everyone else down!” Yuma cried out in defiance, tears pouring down her face.
“I SAID THAT”S ENOUGH!!!” Miria shouted furiously.
Yuma froze in fear, intimidated by Miria’s outburst; she had never seen her so enraged before.
“No one thinks that, none of us that survived would ever think that, and not one of those who died would have thought that either!” Miria shouted, marching up to Yuma.
Yuma was too shocked by Miria’s anger to respond.
“When we took those half-pills 4 years ago, we acknowledged that it gave an equal chance for both the weak and the strong to survive, everyone agreed that the plan was fair.”
Yuma noticed, somewhat guiltily, that Miria’s eyes were watery now as well.
“I never want to hear that any of you regret surviving all of that, not after I did the best I could to save as many of you as possible.” Miria said, tears marring her angry expression
Yuma looked away; she couldn’t stand to look in Miria’s eyes anymore.
“I-I’m sorry Miria, I-I just want to be more useful to everyone, I didn’t mean for it all to come out like that.” Yuma managed to get out, feeling ashamed of herself.
Miria schooled her expression, wiping her tears before they could freeze on her face.
“If you really want to know your own strength, your own worth, then draw your sword.”
“What!?” Yuma asked, a sense of dread overcoming her,
“Just do it Yuma.” Miria said sternly.
Yuma complied, clearly reluctant to do so.
“We are going to have a match right here, if you don’t at least try to win I will be extremely upset with you.” Miria said, as she spoke Yuma’s expression grew paler.
“B-but Miria, you’re a lot stronger then Helen, and I can’t even win against her so how-“
“Try” was all that Miria said to her, as she walked away, giving Yuma some distance.
Yuma already felt her palms sweating, she knew there was no way to win this fight, but Miria wouldn’t go easy on her.
“Let’s go.” Was all Miria said before drew her sword and charged Yuma.
Yuma barely managed to bring up the blade in time to stop Miria’s attack, but Miria didn’t let up and continued with a barrage of sword strikes, Yuma had no choice but to focus on defending herself.
It’s just as I thought, the strength, the speed, everything is on a different scale entirely. Yuma thought, her confidence eroding faster than her defense.
“You can’t win if you don’t try to fight back!” Miria shouted through her barrage of attacks.
“There’s no way!” Yuma cried out as she was pushed back further.
Try, for some reason Miria’s voice echoed that word in her mind.
Her body reacted before she really had time to think about what she was doing, and she performed a riposte without thinking.
Miria swiftly blocked the counter attack, and returned with a strike of her own.
Yuma blocked that as well and turtle up once more.
W-what was that? Yuma thought, amazed by what had just occurred.
“Can you do it again?” Miria asked her, not slowing down in the slightest.
Yuma remained silent, concentrating, trying to get that feeling back again.
It was 5 more strikes from Miria before she tried it again.
The exchange repeated, Miria blocking the counter attack and continuing her offense.
But nonetheless, Yuma was amazed.
Even though I open up my defense, she defends herself just long enough for me to recover! Yuma realized.
Yuma’s confidence grew slightly, she attempted it again, the same scene played out once more, and again, and again.
Even though she was only throwing out one strike for every 5 or 6 thrown at her, it actually looked like a fight instead of an exercise in breaking her defense now.
But it didn’t last much longer, when she tried to counter attack once more, Miria batted the counter-attack away with such force it took Yuma off-balance for a moment. Yuma barely managed to block the next attack only to have her legs taken out from beneath her by a low-kick.
Yuma fell on her back, and felt the sensation of a sword on her throat before she could even think of getting up.
“Well done.” Miria said from above her, a satisfied smile on her face.
“I, that was, I mean-“ Yuma gasped out, realizing how tired she had become.
“The counter attack was well timed, but you repeated the same pattern too many times in a row, so I was able to predict it eventually.” Miria continued, lecturing the worn-out Yuma as she sheathed her sword.
“But still! You weren’t holding back were you?!” Yuma asked a clear look of disbelief on her face.
“I was” Miria replied instantly
Yuma felt her ego deflate a bit.
“I kept my strength at about the level it was back when I first met Helen, Deneve, and Clare, back when I was the #6 of the Organization.”
“How come?” Yuma asked, curious, but still amazed that she held out so well.
“I wanted a comparison of how much my strength and your strength has progressed.” Miria answered.
Yuma’s expression clearly displayed that she didn’t understand.
“Not everyone knows to what extent, but we have all gotten quite a bit stronger, I would place your rank around the mid 20’s now.” Miria admitted.
“Me ranked in the 20’s?!” Yuma cried out, clearly shocked.
“Yes, probably close to Helen’s old strength, if not a bit better by my estimation.”
Yuma really couldn’t believe that.
“You did far better than Clare did the first time I dueled with her, although she was quite a bit more aggressive, I suppose because you’re a defensive type while she is an offensive.” Miria mused.
“U-um, you aren’t pulling my leg are you?”
“Of course not, Clare used to be extremely weak, she wasn’t exactly ranked #47 for no reason, at least not back then.” Miria said, giving a slight chuckle.
“Then again, she still ended up saving our lives against an Awakened Being the next day; on her first real hunt no less.”
Needless to say, Yuma was impressed.
“If Clare could improve so much, maybe I could as well.” Yuma pondered, thinking aloud again.
“You have already improved quite a bit, but growing stronger isn’t the only thing that is important, confidence is important as well.”
“Confidence?” Yuma inquired, curious as to Miria’s meaning.
“Your combat power went up significantly in our little spar as soon as you attempted to actually attack me, by realizing that you could actually strike out you gained confidence, and thus you were able to keep attempting to strike me.”
“I still lost pretty badly though.” Yuma said, although she did feel significantly better.
“True, but nothing a little variety in your movement wouldn’t fix, unpredictability is key in combat, it is one of the reasons Clare has become so strong.”
“But my fighting style is pretty linear.” Yuma replied soberly.
“And that is why you will be training with Clare and I for the next few weeks, it should help you significantly.
Yuma remained silent for a few moments.
“Do you think I’ll be able to hit Helen next time?” Yuma asked hesitantly.
“Oh, I would most certainly like to see that.” Miria replied with a smile.

Feel free to point out any errors, I feel like it could flow better at certain parts.

I don't think I came across any errors, in story flow I think it was pretty good. I have been waiting forever for this fic to be updated, if their is more I really want to read the rest of it. Now I want to read what happens next.