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Old 2012-08-07, 17:22   Link #10604
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
Hail the power of Fujoshi
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: hahahahahahahahaha
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
happiness is indeed a state of mind but how can i make myself happy when every step i take reminds me of my past. should i move away from this country or is there another method to overcome this.
Most, if not all have tainted past. Live through that period, do not live IN it. It won't do you any good. Embrace the past, make it part of you. Do not escape from it. It is through our tainted past that we discover more about the world and also ourselves. Do not be your own judge and punish yourself. Yes, you may have made a mistake or have an unpleasant past but must you spend the rest of your life atoning for it?


Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
anyway this way of thinking isn't getting me anywhere....i'm a total loser and i will always be.. i sometimes give off a puff of smoke called confidence but this goes away at the first breeze.....
Unless you possess some form of powers or the ability to tell the future, you cannot dictate what the rest of your life would be. You can't change unless you get past this negative view of yourself. You expect friends and women to come running to you when you don't even love yourself. You must love yourself first before allowing yourself to be loved by others. Accept the beautiful and the ugly side of you. I have struggled with this problem myself. I didn't have a very good opinion of myself, but I have started to change slowly. I am still learning to embrace my "whole" self, not the self that I present to the public. You give off a puff of smoke called confidence because that's not who you really are. You are afraid of appearing less than what society expects from you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
about my experiences i like to think that every man/woman is like a precious gem. our life shapes us to a jewel. but if the "shaping tools" are bad then even the diamond will be worthless. i think of myself as one failed gem at the moment, but i am also afraid that repairing these defects will cause me to lose some big chunks, and this will change me into a very different person.
My dear fellow, your own analogy pretty much does the explanation for you. However rough the gem is, it's still a gem. There is still something precious about it. I can honestly assure you that there are no perfect gems in this world. We all started out as rough gems, then we slowly shape up to become an almost perfect gem through trials and tribulations. The point is, no humans are completely worthless. My idea of a useful being is this: a heart. As long as you are breathing, it is not the end yet. Your life is still running.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
my honest thoughts about this are that i am scared of the way i am now, i would want to only be more sociable more outgoing, i don't want to give up anything that defines me right now. (or maybe the way i am right now is the failed thing. i really don'know)
I don't know about others, but to me, sociable means making friends and interacting with them in a positive manner. No one is asking you to go to endless partying or change your image into a playboy. You need not have to change a thing. Just go out, talk to ppl, discover more about them and also allow them to discover more about you. I know what you are trying to say. You are afraid that you might have to change to suit what your friends would like you to be. Sharing from my own experience, such friends are useless. Being sociable and friendly are good, but there need to be a line drawn. You cannot please everyone. Just be yourself, and if through the experience of interacting you think you would like to change something about yourself, then fine. But do not be pressured into it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
i don't want to self-analyze myself... i've done it a countless times and that only brings me down.
Reflection is good, but never ever do it in an excessive manner. Particularly for someone as sensitive as you, if you think too much, you are going to end up being too emotional, to the point it's hard for you to "know" yourself. Try eliciting opinion from your parents or peers. Jot down what you think about yourself, then do the same after asking your parents or peers. You would be surprised that there is a "hidden" gem in you. Very often, we humans may be so harsh on ourselves that we forget we could sometimes be beautiful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
my humblest apologies, i just don't have the will to fight for my happiness i'm giving up. all these years i fought, i clung to something that was not there... not even for a second....i ran i ran i ran after it countless times but never reached it...
To me, that's life. Life is all about running. We run as hard as we could, and the last breath that we take is the end of the marathon. To achieve anything, we need to chase after it relentlessly. Run, run, run, run.............All these years you run and you haven't achieved anything? Okay, take a 5 minute break and then continue running. But never take an eternal break before your time is truly up. Allow yourself to cry, whine, shout, curse,etc etc, but do not make it into a permanent habit.

One last word of advice. Having read through majority of your posts, I have come to notice that you think too much. Look at life as it is, you musn't delve too deep into it. Do that, and you will face a myriad of intricate and complex issues involving the human nature and human society.
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Last edited by MUAHAHAHAHAHA; 2012-08-07 at 17:34.
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