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Saved by the bell
Length:8,000 words
Status: chapter -complete. Spellcheck -not yet. Card -not yet. diary entries- not yet.
ETA: Tomorrow night 100%.
Estimated length: about 9,000 words
I don't like the start of this chapter, as it's just random WAFF. Doesn't do anything for the plot, but does make characters get closer. Anyway, the END of this chapter I rather like. I got some great Precia/Fate moments and the diary entries will be great as well. Also got a TON of plot out of the way. So I think this chapter averaged out okay.
Oh, one thing though. I got a review saying that they felt as if this chapter was about "two American teens" and not really Nanoha/Fate.....Well, I don't know how much like the canon characters I can get them, as they don't use magic nor are interested in the military... Am I doing an okay job with them? Suggestions on how to improve it?
As far as "American" goes...well, I can't really see that. After school activities. Clubs. Cosplay café. School uniforms. I don't really know how I made them come off as "American"....I do intentionally use dollars in this story instead of yen. And first name first, last name last (which I don't know why...) But other than that, is there anything I can do to make this more....Japanese-y?
all help appreciated >.<
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