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Old 2008-04-29, 17:27   Link #42
escimo
Paparazzi
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Age: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
I'm not saying the girl is definitely a thief, but I'm saying the probability is higher for her than for someone who's been raised following ideals of honesty, loyalty, integrity, and so on.
I for one want to believe in inner morality and goodness of people. Something that's nature rather than nurture. If that makes me naive so be it. Don't feel a least bit bad about it. Naturally upbringing plays a big part in forming the morality norms a person lives by but the parents role in this tends to diminish the older the child gets. I think the society itself teaches the most of the norms and nurtures ones conscience. Parents role lies in laying the foundations and in scenario in question I think it's quite impossible to determine what these foundations are like. Still most parents tend to want the best possible future for their children so even if they can't or choose not to live by the socially accepted morals they still tend to do their best teaching them to their offspring. Generalization, I know but still...

Quote:
Or someone whose interests are in continued loyalty, and who's demonstratedly good at knowing where her interests are. A long term business alliance would have ensured the first half of that... if it'd worked. Now she's just someone they have no real hold over, and whose family has a history of thieving and of abandonning their own.
I know a number of people coming from a wide variety of completely screwed up family backgrounds. To some extent my own is as well. Still the people in question have turned out just fine at least as far as moral values are concerned.
I can give a drastic example of one of my acquaintances. He's a son of a convicted double murderer. His father later died in prison fight in which he killed one of is fellow inmates. So three times killer. The second murder was even an attempt to cover up the first. As a father he was mostly absent but when he was around he usually was drunk of high and was abusive towards his family. Mother of this acquaintance committed suicide when he was 15 years old and he ended up spending the next three years of his life in orphanages and foster homes. I'd say that if you want to pass judgment on him for the actions of his parents the prognosis is quite far from good. You'd be dead wrong though. This acquaintance of mine is one of the most wholesome, honest and moral persons I know. I know that he's been judged by his background and knowing what he's like that just pisses me off. He doesn't even fight back in these situations because he somehow feels that he needs to atone for the sins of his father. That's a trait in him that I really hate.

Quote:
So, yeah. I certainly think she'd bear watching some more before committing to a long term relationship with her. Note, even if her parents were saints, I wouldn't approve of rushing into marriage, no matter how much "in love" they are. But in the circumstances? I'd definitely like some indication she is committed.
As far as rushing into marriage is concerned I'd say that in the depicted scenario this is not the case. I'd guess that the situation must have been pretty much settled since the guys parents were partnering with the girls parents in business. I doubt that this would have been the case if they wouldn't have approved of her in the first place or if there would have been some uncertainties about the marriage. So... Can't just see how the girl would have changed into a whole another being over night when her parents for what ever reason decided to screw everybody over.
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