Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Kim
IF he supposively gets way too into it, my parents will undoubtedly blame me as the cause.
|
Hardly. They aren't doing a very good job as parents if they both do nothing about him AND then blame you as a cause. If you need to, talk to them about it. It certainly can't hurt if you let them know the situation.
The guy seems like me, just on a WHOLE other level. I'm not nearly that obsessed, though I am addicted to my computer. But I also understand priorities. Then again I'm *probably* much older than your brother. His behavior is something that may require more forceful or sneaky methods.
How old is your brother? If anything, you should just cut off either his internet connection or change his STEAM password. If he needs to use the computer for school or whatever, he can, but just get him off of it. Tell him to get some fresh air, read a book, anything that doesn't involve his nose in a computer screen. Hell, GET HIM TO READ THIS FORUM. These may be extreme methods, however.
While I would say gaming in general is fine, 10+ hours a day under any circumstances is unhealthy. He's almost certainly not eating well, he is probably on insane sleeping hours (if he's anything like me... up all night, alseep all day), and furthermore his relationship with other people is obviously deteriorating.
My advice:
I would say you should definitely turn off the computer for a bit, sit down and talk, preferably during/after a good meal when he is less likely to be easily irritated. First you should tell him straight out that you are "concerned about his health". I would suggest not telling him he "has a problem", because that will put his back up and put him on the defensive right away, making him less likely to listen to what you have to say. Also avoid words like "always" or "never" when you argue, because these terms are very accusatory, and are likely to offend him for the same reasons. Tell him that he needs to cut down his hours to at least half of what they currently are, which would be about 5 hours/day. Don't try to get him to stop completely, because that will be met with resistance if not flat-out refusal (my guess is that he would stop listening to you entirely if you tried that right now). Like any addiction, it must be treated in steps that gradually return him to what would be considered a "normal" lifestyle. "Normal" is of course relative to the observer, but I think getting him to cut down to AT LEAST 4 hours/day or less or around 20 hours/week or less would be acceptable within the first, oh, let's say 3 weeks. Now, if during that time, his overall mood improves and the hostility ceases, and he isn't talking about his games in every conversation, then he can play more often. Don't let him exceed 6 hours per day, or he'll fall back into old habits quickly. For all of this, it would be wise to set up a timer, where he MUST log off/stop playing when he hits the 4 hour mark. Turn off the power strip to his computer if you have to. Set up a written "schedule log", for instance where he (or you) personally logs what time he started playing, and what time he stopped. Tally up daily, weekly, even monthly hours of play-time if you feel so inclined. Obviously some honesty is required here, but the specifics of such a system I will leave to your discretion.
I know it will be a lot of work, but you are family, after all. You have to work through this together if you are to solve this problem. I apologize if I sound too preachy. Good luck and I hope I helped you out a bit.