Arceon,
the only qualms I have about your story is the way it starts. I'm not looking for a hook/line/and sinker type of line or anything, but " I ran" just doesn't cut it for me. Good thing I kept reading though because the rest of it is pretty good. I do wish you could flesh out the chapter more, but that's just me being greedy.
Post some more whenever you've updated. I'm interested in reading
