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I feel like the name that gets used to refer to characters tends to be the name that is used most often. Japanese people might refer to those characters by the proper name, but I suspect most everyone else will tend to use the name that is given most frequently.
This also makes it very easy to talk about characters and have it be really obvious who you're referring to. If the character only goes by one of their names for nearly the entire series, then obviously it would be confusing to call them by their other name.
As far as which name people use being a potential indication of their personal feelings over fictional characters, I refer to my previous paragraphs. I suspect that their opinion of a character doesn't factor in when deciding which name to use.
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