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From what I see, basically you're having someone who is or close to superhuman with Brain Burst, which is, like all of your characters, ridiculously OP.
I just wish you would take the advice given to you sometimes and tone down your characters a lot. I would use "a bit" but in your case it's really no longer enough. Give him some more weaknesses, make him more imperfect and less good. Give him a selfish reason to fight. It makes for good character development. Even Haruyuki is partially fighting because he wants to keep Brain Burst to stay close to Kuroyukihime. If you argue that he already underwent character development with his time on the island, then what is the point of writing a fanfic for him?
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