Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB
For me, personally, it's the opposite. I don't know what to discuss period, so I likely appear overtly reserved.
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There you go - you've identified a problem and have something to work toward.
The best approach to this problem will vary between people, but I'll give some pointers to think about and consider. The big one is
don't over-think things. I think most of us on here are the "cerebral type" who like to plan out scenarios, simulate them in our mind, and we're constantly second-guessing what the other person is thinking and interpreting. If that describes you, shut that kind of thinking off in dating situations.
The general goal is to find common ground to talk about. If you've connected through an online dating site, you'll already know a bit about each other. If you're relatively new to each other, then probe to find out more! People love to talk about themselves. Their interests, hobbies, family, career or studies (current and aspirations)... politics and world events are a possibility, but since people tend to get fired up about them, they represent a risky topic. Unless your conversation partner is also clamming up and doesn't want to share information, you're bound to hit on a few topics that lead into conversations of their own. All the way through, you're learning more about each other and gauging compatibility.
Pop culture talk is another possibility, but if you're like me, you have about zero pop culture knowledge (and an embarrassing about of internet culture knowledge). In my mind, that also represents a shallow conversation topic - a nice way to pass the time among friends, but you're not really learning about the person. Nor are you providing a chance to share anything about yourself, other than what you're into for music and entertainment.