[Anh_Minh]

Originally Posted by escimo

I for one want to believe in inner morality and goodness of people. Something that's nature rather than nurture. If that makes me naive so be it. Don't feel a least bit bad about it. Naturally upbringing plays a big part in forming the morality norms a person lives by but the parents role in this tends to diminish the older the child gets. I think the society itself teaches the most of the norms and nurtures ones conscience. Parents role lies in laying the foundations and in scenario in question I think it's quite impossible to determine what these foundations are like. Still most parents tend to want the best possible future for their children so even if they can't or choose not to live by the socially accepted morals they still tend to do their best teaching them to their offspring. Generalization, I know but still...

Even if Nature plays a role (so, does that mean that bad people are born that way, and can't change?), so does Nurture. And in this case, Nurture doesn't look promising.

I know a number of people coming from a wide variety of completely screwed up family backgrounds. To some extent my own is as well. Still the people in question have turned out just fine at least as far as moral values are concerned.
I can give a drastic example of one of my acquaintances. He's a son of a convicted double murderer. His father later died in prison fight in which he killed one of is fellow inmates. So three times killer. The second murder was even an attempt to cover up the first. As a father he was mostly absent but when he was around he usually was drunk of high and was abusive towards his family. Mother of this acquaintance committed suicide when he was 15 years old and he ended up spending the next three years of his life in orphanages and foster homes. I'd say that if you want to pass judgment on him for the actions of his parents the prognosis is quite far from good. You'd be dead wrong though. This acquaintance of mine is one of the most wholesome, honest and moral persons I know. I know that he's been judged by his background and knowing what he's like that just pisses me off. He doesn't even fight back in these situations because he somehow feels that he needs to atone for the sins of his father. That's a trait in him that I really hate.

Yeah, so that's one guy. There are also plenty of people who were born in honest families and grow up to be thieves and murderers. So? It doesn't change the fact that growing up in a family of thieves doesn't spell "trustworthy".

As far as rushing into marriage is concerned I'd say that in the depicted scenario this is not the case. I'd guess that the situation must have been pretty much settled since the guys parents were partnering with the girls parents in business. I doubt that this would have been the case if they wouldn't have approved of her in the first place or if there would have been some uncertainties about the marriage. So... Can't just see how the girl would have changed into a whole another being over night when her parents for what ever reason decided to screw everybody over.

What has changed? Well, they've suddenly learnt she came from a family of thieves, for one. For another, the marriage has changed from "part of a business partnership" to "charity act". As I already wrote, the partnership was a way to bind the two together. It broke, so now it makes sense to make doubly sure she isn't going to leave.