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Originally Posted by satashi
Thanks for pointing out things.
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You're welcome. Just remember to fix the problems before you go on to the next chapter, ok?
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for Elena remembering Vivio's name and not talking to Hayate about it.... I see nor reason why she SHOULD.
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The thing is, Elena's known Hayate for years,right? In that time, Hayate's probably told Elena about her missing niece, especially her unique identifying features. So now, her daughter knows someone with the same name, why not ask her?
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the "Love me for who I am" line will come come up.
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Your description of what you want to write is so hot! I can't wait to see it as real scenes.
Scenes, this is too good to be dealt with in just one.