Quote:
Originally Posted by Nenkitsune
not really. if I didn't have a job I'd just lock myself in my room. It's pretty stressful to since I've got uhh...zero friends. To me it feels like it's not a good thing at all.
here's how I am.
Throw me into a store that I've never been in, and have me look for a small item in a random spot. Oh, and make it busy too.
I'll panic if I can't find it, but I won't ask ANYONE for help in fear of being ridiculed (even if it's not true, I still think they're making fun of me in their head)
and so, I just keep looking in vain for something that might not even exist, constantly thinking that everyone around me is teasing me with their eyes.
In short. I REALLY try to avoid talking to people, or being in area's where a lot of people will see me.
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It's called agorafobia. I have that, too. But, of course I have it because what happened to me in the past. (For instance, when I was at the animecon in spring, what was at an another city, I was nothing like that when I'm here, I was more open for communication, and I didn't have that fear like always.)
But, it's just me. However, do you thought about it why are you afraid of people? Does this have to do something in you past? Or you just think you're worthless? You're yourself. Maybe some people make fun of you in their head. But who cares? Do you know him/her? No! When you buy something in a store, do you think about the one who's serves you? It's not your business. There will always be people, who always think different from you, and you just don't have to think about it. You just have to raise your head, and smile, even if they will think your crazy.
Believe in the you, who's believes in you!
Man, it would be good, if someone would give me this speech when I feel like that.
And so, this speech encouraged me, too. Thanks, Myself!
On other note, one of the worst things in my pesonality: I hate greeting people. I just want to say "Yo!", but there's a lot greeting forms in hungarian, and I don't know where to use which if I don't want to be rude.
Another bad trait: For whatever reason (I think because it's fun) I tend to make myself look like an idiot, by talking about fake things about myself, like "I'm a schizophrane." Or "I'm actually from 2301, Aqua, and my mission is to make sure my ancestor don't ruin his life." And things like that. Of course I'm just joking, and I tell them this afterwards, but they still look at me, like I'm an idiot... maybe because I'm one! And I like it! I started doing this, about half a year ago. Everyone was hating me in the class, so I thought, "What the hell, it isn't going to be better than this!" And because I'm bored... I'm always bored. I hate being bored. I think even if I'm being hated because how I act, or they think I'm just an idiot, maybe I doing this because I need something, to make me not bored all the time. Maybe, I need friends.
After a thought: Man, I'm so f*cked up.