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Old 2012-11-30, 18:37   Link #10
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 66
I'll just comment that you do an excellent job of explaining what is going on, who's talking to who, and so forth. You might spend a bit more time describing the environment surrounding them (things around them, weather, ambient light, etc.) to help the reader get a mental image of the scene.

I often find I'm short on one of the "what, who, where" triangle in any given chapter
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Last edited by Vexx; 2012-11-30 at 21:35.
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