Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Rambo
Overall, very nice. I like Haruki's obsession with manliness.
I'd suggest editing to make Mitsuru "super sized value pack", and not merely "actually a man". We then could have a scene where Haruki is very surprised at how... well hung Mitsuru is.
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ROFLMAO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Rambo
Something Akin to this.
I think something like that needs to be done to inject more humor into the scene, because generally speaking, I don't think non yaoi fans find men molesting each other as inherently funny as women doing it. |
That's precisely the inspiration.
And yeah it does need more in terms of general funny and less focus on the molestation.