[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by dkellis

The problem in question is: How is Kyonko going to get home after visiting Yuuki? Above all, remember that Kyonko is now a girl, and remember all the warnings given about women out alone at night.

Right now I'm having Itsuko pick her up in a mysterious taxi, and then they'll have the slightly-altered conversation that Kyon and Itsuki have after Mikuru had told Kyon about her time-travelling. So basically, instead of the order of revelations being Yuki, Mikuru, then Itsuki, now it's Yuuki, Itsuko, then Mitsuru.

The other option I could think of was for Yuuki to escort Kyonko back home, which would imply that he knows about gentlemanly behaviour to do this at least, as well as any attempts at conversation Kyonko might make during the walk back (which would take twenty minutes while cycling).

I'd go with Yuuki escorting Kyonko back. It seems to soon to have Itsuki talk to Kyonko on this subject. It would make things to rushed.

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

Spoiler for 2nd part:

Nagato-san pushed the cup of tea over to me. "Drink," he said.

I did so, trying not to look at Nagato-san, who was staring at me like I was a new and peculiar animal in a zoo. I'm uncomfortable enough being alone in the home of a strange guy, so please don't make it any worse than it already is!

Kyon-chan here accepts the drink too easily. She has expressed misgivings on going to as well as entering Yuuki's home and yet she accepts the drink just like that? Perhaps you should introduce some thoughts of her wondering is it safe to drink it and have her imagination go wild and later have Yuuki do something and ask is something wrong. maybe something alongs the lines of this.

Spoiler for suggestion:

Nagato-san pushed the cup of tea over to me. "Drink," he said.

I stared at the cup but did not make any moves to even pick it up. I wonder is it safe to drink... Right now the situation is making me feel rather uneasy since we are alone in his apartment. Would he add something to the tea and take advantage of me? No wait, this is Nagato-san we're talking about here. Granted, I don't know him that well but still...

"Is the tea not to your liking?" he inquired, breaking that line of thought.

"Oh no, its fine" And picking up the cup, I screwed up my courage and drank the tea, trying not to look at Nagato-san who was staring at me like I was a new and peculiar animal in a zoo. I'm uncomfortable enough being alone in the home of a strange guy, so please don't make it any worse than it already is!

I'm a lousy writer so use this as a guideline if you like or ignore them if you wish.

That's a good idea.

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

I have a crazy suggestion. Have Kyonko start going back in a slight daze from the amount of info from Yuuki and then get Haruki to suddenly show up 37 seconds after she left Yuuki's apartment building and scaring her unexpectedly. He thens proceeds to persuade her to join him on chasing down some sort of weird rumor (maybe about aliens appearing at this late time or something) and promises to escort her back home when she resists his initial persuasions.

Seems like to big a of a coincidence.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Not every place in the world is filled with gangsters that drag girls of bikes, you know... In fact, barring Haruhi, the place where they live seems pretty quiet.

We are trying to follow the basic out line of the novel, with accommodation's for Gender changes. I think this is a relatively minor thing that overall would add greatly to the atmosphere.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Ooh, I like the sound of that one. Problem is, since everyting is from Kyonko's prespective, how will we make it clear that she's being watched?

Well realistically speaking, Kyon/Kyonko is probably under constant 24 hour surveillance (In all likelihood, the phone was probably bugged, and hidden camera's set up in the main rooms in the middle of the night).

Think about it, he/she is the chosen one of a God like entity, who's stability joined at the hip with the stability of the world. We don't know exactly what the organization is, but I get a feeling their group goes far beyond the Espers, and has allot of influence in government. The other members of the Organization that we meet on the Lone Island Syndrome story line are all probably involved in military intelligence.

The Organization probably has a covert team of secret agents constantly monitoring Kyon/ko, and probably had a car following her covertly.

This brings up another interesting idea. What if Yuuki originally sent the message asking to meet her via that note in the book, was so that the other groups wouldn't know about it till the last moment?