[Falkor]

I didn’t intend to write this much… but oh well… hopefully my thoughts on episode 04 won’t be this long.

**The first spoiler only contains facts about Hiromi**

Spoiler for some facts/specific spoilers about Hiromi from episode 03:

- Hiromi lies about the festival.
- Shinichiro’s mom doesn’t consider Hiromi as her own child, while his dad does. It is quite obvious that she hates her.
- She says to Shinichiro that he didn’t have to come with her.
- Changing the topic when Shinichiro asked her about ‘Noe seeing through her.’
- In the flashback, Hiromi is shown crying, scared, and wondering around while ‘asking’ Shinichiro not to “leave her behind.”
- Hiromi looks happy holding hands with Shinichiro (flashback).
- Shinichiro takes off one of his sandals.
- She decided to seal her emotions/memories when she decided to live there.
- Himori seems more opened up to Shinichiro and actually greets him in a good mood.
- Hiromi is surprised of seeing Shinichiro and Noe together.
- She says to Tomoyo that the person she actually likes is Noe’s brother. She then faces Shinichiro with a troubled face because he might have overheard.

Spoiler for my thoughts/speculations on Hiromi:

Anything beyond this point is merely speculation from my part based on episode 03. The first thing I want to mention is Hiromi lying about not remembering the festival and probably further doing so at the end with Tomoyo. However, I don’t see her as a liar after all, but someone who might be indecisive/insecure with really deep motives. The question that concerns me the most is not why she lies, but why she wants to make sure that nobody suspects her ‘true feelings’ towards Shin—including Tomoyo and the person involved. This is the only conclusion I can draw from the situation if the former is kept ambiguous as it is. To spice things more, I want to add the fact she “decided to seal her emotions/memories away.” The word choice (if the translation is correct) is the aspect that it’s quite intriguing me. The first question I want to explore concerning this quote is whether those memories are happy ones or sad ones. I can understand a person trying to forget a ‘bad’ or ‘sad’ memory, but if I’m right, that’s not the case with Hiromi. From the flashback, I assume it was a happy/meaningful memory (holding hands with Shin) that she wanted to ‘forget’ since she is recalling that scene at two different points, the practice match and alone in her room. She might be referring to other memories as well (or the fact she was at her weakest), but the flashback, thus far, is the only thing she has been trying to hide. The second detail I want to explore is the wording itself, using “seal” rather than “hide” for example—if the translation is correct. By trying to seal her memories/emotions away, I wonder if that’s affecting her way of life or it’s some kind of painful burden that requires ‘sealing’ (I have no idea though, except throwing some random guesses). And lastly, the past tense, which is the most interesting feature of the quote. She refers to something in the past as the trigger of her decision, but what I’m curious to know is the situation before and after moving into the house (if that’s the only cause as well), and what has ‘really’ changed about her or has she been always a sad-looking and lonely girl. **I’m aware I might be going a bit overboard.** >.<

And that was the first part of my wall of text. The next thing I want to do is exploring the flashback itself, the ‘great’ contrast between Hiromi now and then. How would you describe Hiromi in the flashback? An insecure girl, scared of being alone (or scared of being left alone), very fond (or dependent) of Shin, prompted to cry, and shy perhaps. How is she now? Ignoring Shin completely for the most part of the first episode, very cold towards him, trying to put up a façade at the school, and above all, very sad and lonely looking. She is quite different from the girl she used to be, but I’m wondering if there are some aspects of her past—especially her insecurity—that are still haunting her. Again, this makes me very curious to know what happened then (underlying motives) in order to make her change like that. The most interesting thing about this flashback is probably the quote “Don’t leave me behind,” which she repeats to herself. It’s quite difficult for me to grab its true meaning in relation to Hiromi’s behavior and thoughts, but let’s see where this leads. I take notice of these words because she says it not in the flashback, but alone in her room, so I assume it holds an important connotation to her. It doesn’t really concern me why she doesn’t want to be left behind, but what she means by that? If she doesn’t want to be left behind, why acting cold towards Shin unless she wants to grow ‘stronger’ in order to overcome her past. The other thing about this quote is how she feels right now, whether she is indeed left alone or has been left alone for how long or is scared of being left alone (I don’t really know what she means by being left behind) would probably go into speculation. And lastly, why she might feel in the same way after so long? I think I can understand a lonely and sad girl like Hiromi (probably not), but I’m really far of comprehending her ‘longing for a certain somebody’ after so many years or the need to seal her memories/emotions away in order to do so.

We are almost close… I’m really curious to know her definition of happiness; what does it take to make her happy? Something like holding hands with Shin is enough to take away some of her loneliness while getting a great smile out of her (in the flashback). I think episode 04 kinda explains this topic so I will post my thoughts later on. However, there are still two things that are very ambiguous thus far. The first is what she feels for Shin. She seems to be concerned about him with all that happened in the second and third episode, but I cannot really grasp what she thinks. The only thing I can point out with only three episodes is the fact she does feel something for him, but whether they are romantic feelings or not, it’s up to speculation. And there’s this thing that feels out of place, Hiromi opening up to Shin. It’s not the fact that worries me, but when and how it started all this. What happened for this sudden change of personality? She finally greets him in a good mood, plus she seems more willing to start a conversation with him. What did she realize after all? And I think episode 04 is expanding this question even more so I might post my thoughts later on once a sub is out.

** On a curious/unrelated note, notice in the cockroach song that Noe mentions (episode 03) there’s a cockroach on Shin’s back and she happens to be on his back.