taoism -- if you understand shit, it isn't shit.
hinduism -- this shit happened before.
confucianism -- confucious says shit happens.
buddhism -- shit will happen to you again.
zen -- what is the sound of shit happening?
islam -- if shit happens it is the will of allah
sikhism -- leave our shit alone.
jehova's witness -- knock knock, shit happens.
atheism -- i don't believe this shit.
agnosticism -- can you prove that shit happens?
catholicism -- if shit happens, you deserve it.
protestantism -- shit happens, amen to that.
judaism -- why does shit always happen to us?
orthodox judaism -- so shit happens, already.
televangilism -- send money, or shit will happen to you.
rastafarianism -- let's smoke this shit.
hare krishna -- shit happens rama rama.
nation of islam -- don't take no shit.
new age -- visualize shit happening.
shintoism -- you inherit the shit of your ancestors.
hedonism -- i love it when shit happens.
satanism -- sneppah tihs.
capitalism -- this is MY shit.
feminism -- men are shit.
existentialism -- what is shit, anyway?
scientology -- if shit happens, see diametics p.137.
mormonism -- excrement happens (don't say shit).
baptism -- we'll wash the shit off you.
mysticism -- this is really weird shit.
voodoo -- shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen.
mysticism -- this is really weird shit.
disneyism -- bad shit doesn't happen here.
wicca -- you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times.
communism -- let's share the shit.
marxism -- you have nothing to lose but your shit.
conspiracy theory -- THEY shit on us!
psychoanalysis -- tell me about you shit.
darwinism -- survival of the shittiest.
amish -- modern shit is useless.
suicidal -- i've had enough of this shit.
optimism -- shit don't happen to me.
trekism -- to boldly shit where no one has shit before.
shakespearean -- to shit or not to shit, that is the question.
descartes -- i shit therefore i am.
freud -- shit is a phallic symbol.
lawyers -- for enough money, i could get you out of shit.
acupuncturist -- hold still or this will hurt like shit.
dog -- i just shit on your shoe.
cat -- dogs are shit.
mouse -- oh shit! a cat!
politically correct -- internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens.
einstein -- shit is relative.
family gathering -- relatives are shit.
materialism -- whoever dies with the most shit, wins.
vegetarianism -- if it happens to shit, don't eat it.
fatalism -- oh shit, it's going to happen.
environmentalism -- shit is biodegradable.
americanism -- who gives a shit?
statistician -- shit is 84.7% likely to happen.
hip-hop -- motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!
tantrism -- fuck this shit.
cynicism -- we are all full of shit.
surrealism -- fish happens.