[Hooves]

Originally Posted by lordshadowisle

Since there are too many excellent works this time round, I've had no choice but to turn in something really bad. I hope to hit the spot where it's bad enough to actually be good.

Also, if your eyes start bleeding after reading this, please seek medical attention.

Spoiler for =):

The Most Difficult Decisions

"Hey you! You seem to be enjoying yourself, eh?" shouted the twintailed girl in the mecha suit.

Arata had been caught in an extremely compromising position. Indeed it appeared to be an enviable situation, for he was somehow lying on the floor, with the class representative pressed on top of him. And she was dressed only in a bathrobe. But appearances deceived, for Arata's mind was in great conflict.

Really, he was now considering a difficult question. It was a weighty decision, something that he had been unable to resolve for the longest of times. "How can I possibly choose?" he thought. "Was it all a mistake?"

Everything began two years ago.

~~~

Meh, here's another one, the devil thought. Then he sighed a sulfurous sigh. The boy didn't look all that smart- quite the opposite actually- and would probably not prove much of a challenge to manipulate. But then again, the fun didn't lie in the mind games, but in the twisting of consciences.

Yes, offer them the chance to buy their heart's desire with a moment's sin, and watch them squirm and wrangle with themselves for the rest of their lives. A moment of pleasure for the buyer, a lifetime of entertainment for the seller. Better yet if the incentive was only marginally more attractive than the cost; then they would justify to themselves that their choice was not wrong, and yet never quite succeed to erase their doubt.

"What do you desire?" the devil asked Arata.

"C-can you truly grant my wishes? Truly?" said the teenager, with both hesitance and eagerness in his voice.

"Everything is possible, if you do but pay the price. A small tithe is all I requ-"

"OK! I ACCEPT!"

And to the fiend's surprise, the foul deal was forged in a fantastically fast record of 30 seconds.

~~~

What an idiot, the devil thought. What an absolute fool, agreeing even before the contract was set! How much easier could the job be? Still, the details remained, but what were details to devils?

The devil studied the teenager carefully with unearthly vision. Besides being inadequate in the mental department, he was also utterly unremarkable in every other aspect; looks, athletic ability, social skills, family background, special talents, all average or below average. He was indecisive and spineless too. What an interesting specimen, if only because he was uninteresting to the extreme!

Epic fail, in mortal words. No wonder he agreed so readily.

The devil then pondered over the choice of sins to force Arata to commit. Murder was of course always popular, except that those stories always ended so soon. The old ones had such brutal tastes, always about violent delights and violent ends. He preferred finer courses; it had to be something more subtle. Perhaps the crimes of the heart? Fitting, for this one so unacquainted with such affairs.

And so the words were etched onto the invisible contract.

~~~

"Now, state your one true desire."

There was a pause. "L-love." Arata said hesitantly.

A small grin appeared on the devil's face. What a small desire, and ironically one that would ultimately be shattered by the weight of sin.

"Very well, it will be s-"

"Wait, no! She must be cute!"

"Urg. Ok, it wil-"

"No, cute will wear out! She must be sexy! Yes, she must be sexy!"

"Ok, then -"

"Hmm wait a minute- looks aren't everything! It's better if I know her well already- so let her be a childhood friend?!"

"Is that your final -"

"Now that I think of it, that's not so important. But I would like intelligent girls, honor student perhaps? Good at sports and studies..."

And he went back and forth for ten hours, constantly changing his fickle mind, weaving from twintailed childhood friends to mysterious esper transfer students to shy librarian girls to outgoing class representatives. This was quite exasperating for the devil, who was bound by mystic forces to listen to this endless babble.

"Why don't you just get a cat." the devil uttered in annoyance.

"... A cat is fine too..."

~~~

At end of thirty hours Arata had yet to come to a decision. Yes, not even one single decision. Instead the list of "true" desires he considered increased limitlessly; "I should be an ace pilot in a mecha academy", "A student trying to become a movie director", "Student council vice-president", "A ronin working as the manager of a girls dormitory", "A magical-zombie-boy", "A teacher at a magic academy", "God of gaming". Nevermind the fact that many of these desires could not be fulfilled without seriously warping the fabric of reality (quite beyond the devil's powers); it was the sheer fact that these wishes were the most ridiculous SERIOUS requests he had heard! And many of them contradicted with each other!

The nonsense barrage kept coming in- where, where did he get those ideas!?!?!

~~~

With superhuman endurance he lasted one week. No, not Arata, but the devil. At that juncture all he wanted to jam his horned head repeatedly into the nearest wall. But unfortunately all the nearby walls had already been destroyed. He could not hold out any longer...

"OK, OK! YOU WIN! I'LL GRANT YOU THOSE, OR WHATEVER SUBSET THAT DOESN'T BREAK REALITY! JUST GET LOST... I can't take it anymore...."

~~~

Back to the present, Arata was struggling with inner conflict, oblivious to the dangerous situation around him. But his inner thoughts were loud and clear.

"Childhood friend or class representative? Twintails or hime cut? Flat chest or D cup? TSUNDERE OR GENKI GIRL? CUTE OR SEXY? CAT UNDERWEAR OR... OR.... NOTHING? I am in despair! I am truly in despair! Hahahahaha!"

His mad laughter echoed throughout the room.

"...F-Flat c-chest!? CAT UNDERWEAR? DIE, YOU PERVERT!", screamed the girl as she used a shining punch to propel Arata upwards, through the wall, then the ceiling, and finally into the sky...

"I finally understand... I finally understand! The most difficult of decisions are those between a good and another good. HAHAHAHAHA...."

The sound of his laughter continued to be heard as he spiraled through the atmosphere.

o.o....... Arata sure is...... perverted to no limits with all those desires... But certainly a good and funny read there