[csuree]

yeah i could say i think a bit differently from most other guys out there.....

and yeah i even said it myself that i think too much.. i should rely more on my instincts, but what can i say ...its not that i can dump all this knowledge in an instant. many times i wondered if i had only an IQ of 100 wouldn't i be happier.....

i do not see a problem with planning ahead a bit do you???

to why i want a partner the answer is simple: the life i am leading now is not fulfilling.... i want o experience true emotional happiness not just a fleeting imitation of it that i experienced until now. i'm not after p_ssies or any carnal desires fulfilled.... though that comes with a relationship so it is an added bonus. but as i said it my emotional life is like a wreck now...thinking back i smile and i laugh at times but those are just momentary. and as i walk out the door of the factory heading home i wish i had someone who would say some kind words to me....so cheer me up a bit, to have a decent conversation.... to not come home and sit alone in an apartment.....only looking at the walls or out the window.....

and you might be right after being a 24 year old with no relationship experience at all i might pursue any girl who gives a tiny damn about me.....you really do not feel that craving for someone to be there near you to cuddle up to someone.. and stuff that usually couples do????....

i never experienced those, so i am like someone who eats all he can but never feel full enough.

Right now at this moment i know i sound desperate... but the reality is that i AM desperate right now. my brother came home some time ago again with a girl.....and this makes me feel so miserable inside that my heart feels like it squeezes so much that it is shattering.

what can i do .... nothing.. i take to heart every little thing in my life.....

this is it....that was the answer to your question.... now .... i go to do some stargazing to take mi mind off this issue.. so i could have another fleeting moment of happiness.