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Old 2007-09-05, 06:25   Link #101
Sikon
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The first half-chapter of the Doctor Who one is up (see signature). The second, which will finish the first half of the two-parter, will be up today or tomorrow.

(That's just because I decided to go with shorter chapters this time.)
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"The Expanded Otomeverse"

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Old 2007-09-05, 07:33   Link #102
WarpObscura
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FanTAStic! Absolutely Fantastic.
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Old 2007-09-05, 09:56   Link #103
Atlantis_Lux
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I second it!

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-09-05, 10:33   Link #104
Sikon
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Spoiler:
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"The Expanded Otomeverse"

"You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."
~ Samantha Carter
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Old 2007-09-05, 12:59   Link #105
Atlantis_Lux
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Old 2007-09-07, 11:09   Link #106
WarpObscura
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Is it polite to attempt a second pimping of Prinz von Sommerhoffnung? Some review from the more astute, open-minded, Genre (and content) Savvy members of our fandom would be very much appreciated, considering that my two betas (as is with myself) are engaged in preparing for a promotional examination.
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Old 2007-09-10, 00:38   Link #107
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Greetings,

I am Saint X, resident denizen of the Nearby Nanoha Thread and one of the OC / Fanfic specialists in that universe.

I'm also a fan of the Mai-Series, especially Otome, well as they say back there- high enough technology is magic. And with the Multiverisiality of the my host thread in effect, we tend to drag some in...

Well what i was saying that i have a Planned to Publish work in the HiME/Otome section of FF.net that involves these things

Crossover with another series
Lots of OCs and CCs from both worlds
Integration of Both anime and manga elements
Two sides of the Same Conflict - Me taking care of the Otome side while another friend of mine taking care of the other series side.

- a lot of things... but maybe this snippet from my friend can do:

Spoiler for Die Snippet:


- i need ideas really...

Please be kind to me people...
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Old 2007-09-10, 08:55   Link #108
WarpObscura
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Well, Sikon, I like being unique, and my section splitter certainly is, mess though it might be. Now, could I please have some constructive commentary?
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Old 2007-09-10, 09:49   Link #109
Sikon
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Certainly. I was going to write a review earlier, but I get distracted too easily.
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Old 2007-09-10, 10:39   Link #110
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Hahah, don't worry. It happens to the best of us. It might be fair warning, though, to note that it's subtitled "Intelligent, Reference-filled SSStylish Hard Action" for a reason. A good knowledge of what each character looks like, as well as a sharp mind able to handle wordplay, are needed to appreciate it. My two betas did warn me enough that the "average" fan wouldn't be interested in the Lawyer Friendly Cameos aplenty.
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Old 2007-09-10, 11:13   Link #111
Sikon
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Lawyer Friendly Cameos? o_O
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Old 2007-09-10, 11:38   Link #112
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You see, because I avoid naming almost everyone by their official names... Okay, that's not really Cameo, it isn't, if it applies to almost everyone.
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Old 2007-09-12, 08:31   Link #113
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Hey, Atlantis_Lux (what d'ya want me to address you as? Will "AL" do, or would you prefer "Lux"?), were there any parts of Prinz von Sommerhoffnung you didn't quite understand?
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Old 2007-09-12, 10:44   Link #114
Atlantis_Lux
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Lux is fine for me. And you, by the way?

There aren't really parts that I do not understand, but probably (if it's not something you need to keep secret) it would be better if you write down in the end of each chapter the names of the equivalent characters in Mai Hime so that people don't get confused.
Then... I caught the reference to Hellsing when Ywiu releases her powers and here " That which defeats a monster is always a human." but does the same go for the guns of Sommerhoffnung? Anaconda could be the Jackal... could be...
I'm sure there are tons of other cameos that I didn't recognize, but I have a funny feeling here "Svarog shot forth, brutally Materassi-ing the hostile monster". Materassing? Is it a word play that refers to the last soccer world cup?
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Old 2007-09-13, 06:01   Link #115
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Warp will do.

The names of the guns reference popular bands. Look up the lyrics that Sommerhoffnung sings and you'll find which ones they are. Draysoph's name is also a musical reference, but specifically an anagram. Yes, the Materassi thing was meant to refer to that incident.

Did you get the "It's a Bridget" one? There are many Devil May Cry references lying around. There's at least one Star Wars reference and one crab-related meme. I also played around with some of the original dialogue to suit the new premises.

If you have any more comments, please do tell. It would help greatly.
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Old 2007-09-13, 13:49   Link #116
Atlantis_Lux
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Yep! Caught the reference to Devil May Cry. Angel May Laugh right?

But I totally lost the Star Wars one. I suppose I have to read it again.

By the way, what is a Category C ka-chung?
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Old 2007-09-14, 05:55   Link #117
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Well, yes, Angel May Laugh was the most obvious, but there are more. For the Star Wars one, you'll want to look back in the later parts of that series. "Ka-chung" is Hokkien for "a$$".
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Old 2007-09-17, 12:57   Link #118
Sikon
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Sorry about the lack of a review for your story, WarpObscura - I was busy finishing the second half-chapter of mine (the Doctor Who one). Now that it's online, I'll have the review posted tomorrow.
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"The Expanded Otomeverse"

"You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."
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Old 2007-09-19, 01:55   Link #119
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And here comes the review!
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"You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."
~ Samantha Carter
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Old 2007-09-19, 04:23   Link #120
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Thanks for it! I reviewed your Who-crossover. I'll take some time here to reply to your review... Or would you prefer it to be Review Reply'd?

Quote:
It was a bit hard to delve into at first, but easier so after I figured out the
Did you mean to complete the sentence, perhaps with "names of the characters" or something like that?

Quote:
You handled a number of aspects better than Sunrise - for instance, the conversation between Sommerhoffnung (Mai... yes, I know, she's actually Natsuki's counterpart) and Kan-za-ji (Yuuichi). There's a certain feeling I get when the dialogue is "real-wordly/plausible/flowing" (as opposed to "forced/artificial/convoluted"), when they say exactly what real people thrust into these unfortunate circumstances would probably say.
I daresay I did what I could, but there are some things we Muggles just won't ever experience, eh?

Quote:
I assume the "Otome character who doesn't appear on screen much but nevertheless plays a significant part in the story" is Lena Sayers?
Got it in one.

Quote:
There's one thing I couldn't understand from the context. HiME is set in "our" world - and maintains plausible deniability as much as it can. Otome is set in the far future. What about this story? It seems that it uses fictional countries and languages (like Kinglish) on an alternate Earth in a setting inspired by Chinese culture - is this correct?
Actually, the names are amongst the very few things that reference the idea's original roots in the Mega Man Battle Network series. Names like Choina, Electopia, Kingland, Netopia, and Yumland were originally from there, but Gothofurtoa is a modified portmaneau of "Goth" and "Frankfurt" carried out in that series' whimsical naming convention.

Quote:
First, formatting. Some of it I got covered before - the separators, for example. It may be an artistic choice, but it's really hard to read with separators like these. FFN supports bold and italic fonts, centering (which can be used for titles and separators), horizontal rules and line-breaks. Next time, you can preview the document and make corrections in the browser itself before publishing, even if FFN's uploader mangles the original formatting (it does that constantly).
I'm aware of the editing features, but having to work with them every time I edit the document gets tiring very fast. I'll look into it, though.

Quote:
Second, while "Quake I symbol" is funny, it's not necessary to call it that - just establish somewhere in the exposition that the KOUTASHI symbol looks like that, and then refer to it as the KOUTASHI symbol from now on. It's better for suspension of disbelief.
Crap, I should have known I wasn't clear enough to distinguish between the KOUTAISHI symbol, that is the spiral, and the alto-clef-entwined-with-the-Quake-symbol. I'll fix the thing sometime in the future.

Quote:
Third, hair colors. Of course, it's probably just me... but I just regard the convention as a convention, and maintain that if those weird anime hair colors don't exist, they don't exist period. So, for example, in the Doctor Who story, I took the liberty in "retconning" Natsuki and Nina's hair colors because I can't accept that they LITERALLY have blue hair. Of course, one can assume that the convention in this story is just a convention as well, so we can recognize the characters, and they don't literally have these hair colors. Which I will. Even if the Word of Author(tm) tells me otherwise.
I suppose you can treat this however you want. In the end, this sort of detail is minor. Didn't you catch that Lampshade Hang in the first chapter? XD

Quote:
And fourth, I'll probably mention this objection in a "My MEGAMI" review, but it's not necessary to decipher these wacky acronyms. "HiME" was a borderline case, but it was within the degrees of plausible. Even "乙HiME" was already pushing the borders of "no-way-they-could-have-adopted-something-like-that-ness", and the proposed meaning of "KOUTASHI" was outright silly. There's no need to decipher them, really - we don't know what SEELE, NERV and GEHIRN stand for in Evangelion (except for the meaning of the original German words), but that doesn't in any way damage the story. Some things are better left unexplained - or just ignored.
I sort of figured that out after-the-fact, but I never really wanted to play this 100% straight in the first place.

Quote:
Having said all that, I'm looking forward to Chapter 4. You seem to be taking a "serious" approach, and as a rabid fanservice hater, I'm eager to see what you'll do with the fanservice-ridden fourth episode.
Well, I couldn't quite figure out how to make that particular episode work, so you'll have to wait, I'm afraid. On the other hand, if you so desire, you may skip ahead to the replacement for Episode 14, which I have made a second draft of. Here: http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/81941.html

I notice you didn't say anything about the various inline references. Any reason why?
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