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Old 2007-09-17, 01:36   Link #1041
User65554
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Join Date: Aug 2007
^In Soviet Union, mushroom jump on YOU
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Old 2007-09-19, 22:34   Link #1042
starry_sky45
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4 oh yes
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Old 2007-09-20, 00:22   Link #1043
Kyomi
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Age: 29
The ending was obvious, though it's what makes it decent. *Grin*
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Old 2007-09-20, 06:26   Link #1044
KholdStare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starry_sky45 View Post
Lol that was funny. I enjoyed that.
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Old 2007-09-20, 18:07   Link #1045
Deathkillz
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BEAT YOUR KIDS!!


Russell Peters is such an awesome comedian XD for the full show you can go here :3 WARNING: not suitable for the sensitive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Ryj1ywoqw
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Old 2007-09-20, 19:29   Link #1046
Autumn Demon
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University of Florida student tasered at a John Kerry speech.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IATPoHdpak0

it gets funny... just jeep watching.
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Old 2007-09-20, 22:43   Link #1047
KholdStare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deathkillz View Post
BEAT YOUR KIDS!!


Russell Peters is such an awesome comedian XD for the full show you can go here :3 WARNING: not suitable for the sensitive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Ryj1ywoqw
LMAO dude that was hilarious.
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Old 2007-09-20, 23:06   Link #1048
teachopvutru
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Location
Age: 22
I'm sure some of these are already posted but, w/e:

Latest Version of Tetris:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tiq5kZZ967s

Best Zombie Shooting Game ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpNqFPon-2g


Not as funny:

Think the 9/11 Airplane trip is worse? Watch this :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ox1Z81KS2E&NR=1

Convenience Store Security Camera:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvQkzp2_vZg
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Last edited by teachopvutru; 2007-09-21 at 18:12.
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Old 2007-09-20, 23:11   Link #1049
Omfgbbqwtf
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UC San Diego
Age: 24
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was
the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are won't to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
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Old 2007-09-21, 01:41   Link #1050
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Omfgbbqwtf View Post
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.


21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
These are the best ^_^. You sure did give me a good laugh there.

====

Reminisce about the old sodas of our recent past ^_^

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/sodas/

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-09-21, 14:58   Link #1051
Amry
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Q: why do they call it "PMS"?
A: because "mad cow disease" have already been taken


haikus are real gay
cause they put limitations
on syllables used


Err... that's it.
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Old 2007-09-21, 15:00   Link #1052
Autumn Demon
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Location: Ithaca, NY
Age: 25
petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw
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Old 2007-09-21, 16:22   Link #1053
Omfgbbqwtf
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UC San Diego
Age: 24
Something I thought I should share with everyone~~ It's pretty long, but it's totally worth the time reading it.

THE COLLEGE THEME PAPER: HE VS. SHE



Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American
University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. one of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

------------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."

But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.

The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
As*hole.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
B*tch.
------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - wh*re.
**********************************************
(Teacher)
A+ - I really liked this one.
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Old 2007-09-21, 18:57   Link #1054
Haruka no Bachi
°*~ Divine Justice ~*°
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the rain....
What do you think of that...?

This is it! Hm, it is very funny....

>>Haruka<<

Last edited by Haruka no Bachi; 2007-09-22 at 03:14.
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Old 2007-09-21, 19:36   Link #1055
jedinat
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Age: 28
lol, that was pretty hilarious.
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Old 2007-09-21, 21:25   Link #1056
cicido
I'm so moe I kill myself
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: your basement
yay, naruhodo and co is back

(no but seriously I kinda miss the old gyakuten saiban crew)
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Old 2007-09-21, 22:05   Link #1057
Zero Shinohara
I'll keep walking.
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Hahaha, wow, this happens to be one of the funniest flashs ever. Nice find!
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Old 2007-09-21, 22:18   Link #1058
Kyomi
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: I should really think about updating my profile..
Age: 29
Dunno how serious is that last one but it was seriously worth reading. XD
But seriously, this is written by University students? Sounds more like high schoolers. >.>
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Old 2007-09-21, 23:04   Link #1059
Sakuya
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Omfgbbqwtf View Post
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Awesome, those certainly made my day! As well as the HE VS SHE paper. Haha.
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Old 2007-09-21, 23:07   Link #1060
jedinat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyomi View Post
But seriously, this is written by University students? Sounds more like high schoolers. >.>
I'm in an advanced college writing class right now... I just had a peer review session with three other classmates. It is entirely feasible that those were college students, in fact, they would probably be on the upper end of the spectrum.

Spoiler for a joke to stay on topic:
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