AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > General > General Chat

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2004-03-17, 17:38   Link #61
Dark_Sun
I LOVE YOU!
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
YO MAMMA..okay these jokes got old REALLY fast but i have a couple funny ones...i guess...

Yo Mamma So stupid she stole free bread.

Yo Mamma So stupid she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mamma So ugly...she makes YOU look good...

Yo mamma so fat...she doesnt have to TRY to sit down..(EW)

Yo mamma's so poort when i came over and stepped on a match she said....NOO WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
Dark_Sun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-17, 18:05   Link #62
Dark_Sun
I LOVE YOU!
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
one more thing..this isnt a joke but i find it wierd and kinda funny...

dont you know the worlds going wierd when.......

The best Rapper's a White Guy.

The best Golfer's a Black Guy.

The Tallest basketball player's a chinese guy.

And the Germans don't want to go to war.


...okay that was kinda rascist but..iono its kinda funny....
Dark_Sun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-17, 18:29   Link #63
Roots
外人、漫画訳者
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Age: 32
That was some great stuff homobaggins. Your cool rating +4

EDIT: Sorry dude, I could of sworn you were homobaggins. I was even wondering why someone would choose an ID like that... It was an honest mistake. Next time I'll be sure to copy/paste people's IDs instead of relying on my fickle memory

Last edited by Roots; 2004-03-18 at 02:17.
Roots is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 01:41   Link #64
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
everyone. i mean EVERYONE calls me homobaggins. you arent that special.

and those are actual conversations taken off of IRC

no funny stuff now.
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 01:49   Link #65
Slade xTekno
Tekkaman Blade!
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Bakersfield, CA, USA,
Age: 27
Cool, a joke thread. Here's a few I've heard in other forums.
Two muffins were in the oven.
One asked the other, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
The other one screamed, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
__________________
Slade xTekno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 01:52   Link #66
Slade xTekno
Tekkaman Blade!
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Bakersfield, CA, USA,
Age: 27
A young boy and a young girl were in the waiting room of a doctor's office. The little girl was sobbing sofly.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.
"I'm getting a blood test. They're going to cut my finger," replied the little girl.
Then the little boy started sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little girl.
"I'm getting a urine test."
__________________
Slade xTekno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 01:54   Link #67
Slade xTekno
Tekkaman Blade!
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Bakersfield, CA, USA,
Age: 27
This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers...
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
23. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
Original source: http://magnus.poly.edu/~dbartolo/hum...ntanswers.html
__________________
Slade xTekno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 02:21   Link #68
Kaoru
Pirate Girl Nyuu
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: I go about the world, looking for people to glomp.
Age: 29
Send a message via Yahoo to Kaoru
LMAO! Those IRC chats were funny! I could have sworn my friend and I were arguing over those cereal mascots one time. We ended up talking about Lucky and his height compared to Tony the Tiger and Trix Rabbit. Don't even want to go there.

I'm thinking about actually trying some of these. Hopefully I don't get bitch-slapped.


How to be Annoying

1. Pay tolls with $100 bills

2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot

3. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it

4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two

5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April

6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons

7. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.

8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines

9. Announce when you're going to the bathroom

10. Chew other people's pencils

11. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

12. Wear large hats during the movies

13. Touch strangers

14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus

15. Bite your dentist's finger

16. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

18. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads

19. Don't stand during hymns and anthems

20. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa

21. Tell people they have bad breath

22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

23. Flirt with a friend's spouse

24. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team

25. Shake with your left hand

26. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone.

27. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

28. Drum on every available surface.

29. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

30. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

31. Honk and wave to strangers.

32. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

33. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

34. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

39. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

41. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
__________________

## Sladism -- All Your Bunny Are Belong To Us ##
Kaoru is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-18, 16:38   Link #69
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
ROFL!!1

keep up the good work!

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

hmm... did i say that one already?

how about french jokes?
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 15:04   Link #70
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
*BuMp*


Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Frenchman is there?
A: He's the one with a duck.
Q: How do you know if an Italian is there?
A: He bet on the duck.
Q: How do you know if the Mafia is there?
A: The duck wins.

french jokes ahead.
Spoiler for repeats?:

Spoiler for french wars:

Spoiler:
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 15:39   Link #71
Mr_Paper
Hmm...
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Looking for his book...
I'm not french, but even I found that insulting.
Mr_Paper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 16:51   Link #72
Cammie
Smooth and Curvy...
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
I thought this was funny!!! but if any of you are Martha Stewart fans... well sowee!!

Cammie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 17:16   Link #73
Roots
外人、漫画訳者
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Age: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Paper
I'm not french, but even I found that insulting.
Agreed. I have nothing against the French. I like their hats!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cammie
I thought this was funny!!! but if any of you are Martha Stewart fans... well sowee!!
That's pretty funny Cammie (No, I am not a Martha Stewart fan.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slade xTekno
Cool, a joke thread. Here's a few I've heard in other forums.
Two muffins were in the oven.
One asked the other, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
The other one screamed, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
I found this to be the funniest joke so far hobobaggins wins best IRC conversation award, those had me falling out of my chair


Time for me to contribute -

Spoiler:
Roots is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 17:52   Link #74
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
French jokes... ... jokes are good as long as they are funny.

oh- the fruit one is sorta old..

Spoiler for hahahaha:
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 17:55   Link #75
wnkryo
HainShodan
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: new york city
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Sun
YO MAMMA..okay these jokes got old REALLY fast but i have a couple funny ones...i guess...

Yo Mamma So stupid she stole free bread.

Yo Mamma So stupid she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mamma So ugly...she makes YOU look good...

Yo mamma so fat...she doesnt have to TRY to sit down..(EW)

Yo mamma's so poort when i came over and stepped on a match she said....NOO WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?

Very VERY old Yo Mama jokes. But still funny none-the-less
__________________
wnkryo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 17:59   Link #76
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
yo momma jokes

yo momma so fat it takes 3 trains and a bus to get to her good side.

yo momma is like a vaccumb cleaner. first she sucks, then she blows then she gets stuck in the closet

yo momma so poor, i went to your house, asked for the bathroom, she pointed out the door and said 3rd tree on the left.

bleh.

yo momma jokes...
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 18:03   Link #77
p3psi
Oscar winning black actor
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
"Ha Ha Ha"

There is the laugh for the day, dont really see the point of this thread?
p3psi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 18:09   Link #78
wnkryo
HainShodan
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: new york city
Quote:
Originally Posted by p3psi
"Ha Ha Ha"

There is the laugh for the day, dont really see the point of this thread?

The point is for people to post jokes and readers to be amused by them; should there be any more reasons for it?

By the way... homobaggins lol..... (no offence, read the post on top )
__________________
wnkryo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 18:12   Link #79
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
Send a message via AIM to hobobaggins
Quote:
Originally Posted by aFlipGuy
hobobaggins...i hope these arent real conversations....specially the danny and mom conversation !!!!!haahahahahahaha i literally laughed out loud hahaahahah
you mean that one

you have no idea how many times i have heard homobaggins....

dont feel special.
hobobaggins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2004-03-22, 18:15   Link #80
wnkryo
HainShodan
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: new york city
Quote:
Originally Posted by hobobaggins
you mean that one

you have no idea how many times i have heard homobaggins....

dont feel special.
Atleast you can pump out some really funny (and historically true) french jokes
__________________
wnkryo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 13:28.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.