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Old 2008-01-15, 13:12   Link #201
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
Yea yea...I'm working on it . Apparently I seem to be getting known for writing WAFF fics and a few of the Outer Cadians thought it would be great to 'volunteer' me to write a little side fic .

PS: Ah yes, I also have an OC. Let me know if you want a link Satashi
If you have fics posted, link me to the fic itself, and your OC profile so I can put it together for you. Please include: Name of story, links to chapters, brief summary, Rating, a main couple if you feel like it's needed, and any comments- if any- you'd like to add. If you need them posted, feel free to do them here :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint X View Post
AlternateS I

*runs towards LART shelter*

I'll be back!
I'll try as soon as I can ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by krisslanza View Post
Satashi-sama promises nothing. Even if Satashi-sama says a promise, Satashi-sama is always too busy to keep them! :P

Since I'm sure Satashi-sama may have mentioned a looking at my own writings is in order...
...
Typing without using 'he' or 'she' is very hard.
T_T that's mean. I'm just not good with OC stories because I'm all "wait, who is that...? What's going on...? I don't know anyone here... @_@;;;!!!!"

and call me "He" or "she" whichever you want, I'll go with either.

Edit: Woot woot!
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Old 2008-01-15, 13:24   Link #202
krisslanza
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How many page claims have you gotten Satashi-sama? Really? You have some crazy knack for getting them

And well... I do my best to describe OCs! The only thing you don't know about Rune is like... Her full past! ... Because I haven't gotten that far yet. I hate making bios
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Old 2008-01-15, 13:26   Link #203
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisslanza View Post
How many page claims have you gotten Satashi-sama? Really? You have some crazy knack for getting them

And well... I do my best to describe OCs! The only thing you don't know about Rune is like... Her full past! ... Because I haven't gotten that far yet. I hate making bios
A lot :3 I check the forums at times: 8:00, 10:00 , 12:00-1:00, 3:00, 6:00 and constantly when I'm at home lol. Those are my break times at work :3

Haha, that's kinda helpful make a bio so I can link to it XD

Oh, and Saint X, I read that chapter actually but never reviewd lol. I recall that I liked it, specially Yuuno.

edit: Teaser for upcoming chapter of Saved by the Bell:

Spoiler for Every teen's worst nightmare:
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Old 2008-01-15, 13:46   Link #204
krisslanza
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*Shudder of utter horror* The dreaded... "Talk". No one ever looks forward to that

Aww but Bios are booooooring. But I guess it is one of those nessecarry evils... I'll put finishing Rune's bio 3rd on my list of things to do. 1 is School of Lyrical and 2 is Arc-en-Ciel: Ashes unto Dust :P (To a point. I think I can skim by a few chapters without her past... To far back anyway)
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Old 2008-01-15, 13:48   Link #205
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
If you have fics posted, link me to the fic itself, and your OC profile so I can put it together for you. Please include: Name of story, links to chapters, brief summary, Rating, a main couple if you feel like it's needed, and any comments- if any- you'd like to add. If you need them posted, feel free to do them here :3
Got the link to my meager OC profile right here.
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Old 2008-01-15, 15:07   Link #206
Saint X
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Special Copypasta from the OC, a (good) crack OCxSubaru idea that i'm pushing for my next Fanfic after AlternateS I- which i'm planning already.

- several ideas are from already established dimensions shows, so bear with it.


- it's just a sample anyway, so far

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 1:



Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 2:



Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 3:



Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 4:



Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 5:
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Old 2008-01-15, 16:11   Link #207
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisslanza View Post
*Shudder of utter horror* The dreaded... "Talk". No one ever looks forward to that
Specially when you're 17 and it's after your mom just *spoiler alert! XDD not telling*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
Got the link to my meager OC profile right here.
The stories there, should I add those to the archive? If so, could you give a brief summery of each and rating? I will do the linking and formatting for you.

@Saint X: should I add that to your archive as a teaser post or anything?
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Old 2008-01-15, 17:47   Link #208
krisslanza
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Could Satashi-sama add my little freewrite teaser of Arc-en-Ciel: Ashes unto Dust to my little profile thing too? o:
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Old 2008-01-15, 17:48   Link #209
Kourin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko:

A nice Signum/Shamal bit, albeit I did have some reservations about Vita 'pretending' to be arrogant (I'm of the opinion that before becomming Hayate's knight, she was arrogant, makes the development more fun).
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull:

Just recently managed to look at it earlier this evening. It looked good. As for Vita pretending, not likely. She was always hot headed and brash, even in StrikerS, despite living with Hayate and being around Nanoha all the time mellowing her out a bit. But all in all, Vita's hot-headed as ever, so I really don't see how she's any different.
thank you both for your comments. about Vita, at first I just thought that rash people tend to do things they regret before they could think it out then regret it later. and Vita is a nice girl underneath it all. also, Signum and Shamal were probably the only ones who were remotely nice to Vita pre-Hayate. but the two of you are right... it is unlikely that Vita will be that apologetic as their past didn't really allow any chance for her to develop 'nice'. so i've made changes. thanks again for reading and your comments. really helped.
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Old 2008-01-15, 20:13   Link #210
krisslanza
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Does er... Someone have like a link to as how dating works under this "Class K" (Though I hear it is Class S) thing works? I need to know before I can really write anything more in School of Lyrical... *Has no dating experience*
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Old 2008-01-15, 20:24   Link #211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
@Saint X: should I add that to your archive as a teaser post or anything?
you can, it's your decision...

i don't expect anyone to comment, much less a single review :P
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Old 2008-01-15, 21:08   Link #212
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisslanza View Post
Does er... Someone have like a link to as how dating works under this "Class K" (Though I hear it is Class S) thing works? I need to know before I can really write anything more in School of Lyrical... *Has no dating experience*
Where two girls go on a test date?
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Old 2008-01-15, 21:10   Link #213
krisslanza
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Well I know that much :P
I mean like... Is it a test date of like the real thing? >.> I need to know like... You know... How much of a 'real' date is it. Go out for candlelit dinners and all that? XD Try and end with a kiss? :P

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Old 2008-01-15, 21:22   Link #214
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisslanza View Post
Well I know that much :P
I mean like... Is it a test date of like the real thing? >.> I need to know like... You know... How much of a 'real' date is it. Go out for candlelit dinners and all that? XD Try and end with a kiss? :P

Depends on the girls.

for example......

If Subaru and Nanoha did it. I think they would go to a movie, have a nice romantic dinner, and end the date at teh doorstep with a "was it fun?"

if Nanoha/Fate did it They would probably go to movie, romantic dinner, then go somewhere else ( look at the stars or something to unwind form their hectic lives) then probably end up kissing at the end.

It all depends on the people. Basically ask yourself this: Are your characters close enough to kiss on a pretend date? the date's relation toa "real" one is how close the two friends are.
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Old 2008-01-15, 21:24   Link #215
krisslanza
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Hmmmm I see, I see. Thanks Satashi-sama.
I was about to leave and feared I wouldn't be able to do much writing since I didn't know exactly how 'real' this practice date is

Well off I go! I'll see about finishing the next chapter in a few days or so...
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Old 2008-01-15, 21:58   Link #216
Reiji Tabibito
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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Double post FTW!

Okay, so I lied.

Saved by the Bell VI
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/6/

Enjoy

edit: once you read, check out This post for pictures of Saved by the Bell! (spoilers for chapter 6 so don't look at before you read)
Okay, pretty good.

Granted, it's not crap, but it isn't making me hang on the edge either...

...but don't feel bad. I've been reading anime ffs since I was in highschool, and am a pretty jaded reader.

Ask Aaron.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Diary entries will be at the end of every chapter, mainly talking nonsense just to give an inside view on how they view each other. Also for character development. Both girls want a tattoo, Fate's butterfly and Nanoha's angel wings.

Who knows, maybe the tattoos, although small, can be plot....
Does Nanoha have an idea for how big she wants her wings to be...?

I've seen them range from the size of the hand to the WHOLE back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Well, I never thought my fanfics were leet but I stopped for the night and saved and.......
Spoiler for they are very leet:
Nya.
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Old 2008-01-15, 22:04   Link #217
Satashi
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Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito View Post
Okay, pretty good.

Granted, it's not crap, but it isn't making me hang on the edge either...

...but don't feel bad. I've been reading anime ffs since I was in highschool, and am a pretty jaded reader.

Ask Aaron.


Does Nanoha have an idea for how big she wants her wings to be...?

I've seen them range from the size of the hand to the WHOLE back...

Nya.
Any ideas for improvements?

Nanoha wants them to be small, like the size of her fist.

Nya.

~~~~~~~~

Archive updates will take place tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~

I was writing tonight and realize that I just rambled. I'm not very happy with it right now, as it's 3,000 words already and 60% of it is just Nanoha and Fate talking on the phone. Granted, I worked in something hilariously funny for the people who requested something, but still... This chapter may end up being really long if I don't take out this random stuff...
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Old 2008-01-15, 22:30   Link #218
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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
I was writing tonight and realize that I just rambled. I'm not very happy with it right now, as it's 3,000 words already and 60% of it is just Nanoha and Fate talking on the phone. Granted, I worked in something hilariously funny for the people who requested something, but still... This chapter may end up being really long if I don't take out this random stuff...
Your fic, your call.
but length rarely matters as long as it's good, and most people count hilarious as 'good'
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"Whoever stands by a just cause cannot possibly be called a terrorist." Yassar Arafat
Sayings and quotes hold wisdom in them. Either the wisdom is found in the correctness of the quote, or in the lesson learned from the error.
Hard part is figuring out who's making the errors...
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Old 2008-01-15, 22:30   Link #219
Reiji Tabibito
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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Any ideas for improvements?
<sighs, thinks>

Let me think...

Your writing style is solid: both descriptive and concise, and you obviously know enough of the English language that you don't need to keep using the same words over and over again.

Characterization, for what I've seen, is pretty much spot on - there're a few inconsistencies, but they are hugely minor compared to what you've gotten RIGHT.

Your genre usage is good, as well: when you want to be funny, when you want to be serious, you are.

Your stuff IS kinda difficult to read, format wise, but that's FF.net's fault and not yours.

Frankly, the main idea that I have for improving is more EPIC source material. I went thru your 6th Division stuff, and it's good.

You focus on everyday events, and that's good. Things like the ARIA franchise have made it HUGE doing just that kind of thing...

...but the problem is that they'll never win any awards. To my experience, people read fanfiction for one of two reasons...



1) As the song goes, "you wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same - You wanna be where everybody knows your name."

Or what I call the Cheers Syndrome - that even the heroes we look up to have the problems we do.

This is why people write high school and other such stories.



2) To dive into epic and fantastic worlds where the fate of many lies in the hands of a few.

Or what I term the Lord of the Rings Syndrome - seeing the heroes kick ass, look cool doing it, fight against an evil foe, and ultimately win the day.


You do #1 like no one else I know - but a good author can do 1 & 2 with equal ability.

The only improvement I can suggest is -

Less of 1, more of 2.


Do keep this in mind, though:

The authors on my shelf are some of the following:

Tom Clancy

Clive Cussler

Jack DuBrul

James Clavell

Umberto Eco

And other such persons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Nanoha wants them to be small, like the size of her fist.
<nods> Okay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Nya.
<laughs>

Sorry, "nya" is sort of a general, all-purpose phrase, the meaning of which depends on HOW it's phrased.

It's something that I picked up from my fiancee - she normally used it when she was irritated, but I ended up spamming it for so many things that she dropped it and found herself a new all-purpose phrase.

Here, "nya" is like "okay."

I'll try and make it's usage more apparent...
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Old 2008-01-15, 22:43   Link #220
SpaceBrotha
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Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito View Post
<sighs, thinks>
Spoiler for awesome rant is also loong:
Well, besides the two you mentioned, people also might want to read FF for romance, additional background, character developement (for shafted people IE hayate), and sometimes even for tragedy...

...But your two reasons tend to be the main selling points of many series and movies outside of fanfiction as well, for they ARE good things to have in just about anything
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." Norman Schwarzkopf
"Whoever stands by a just cause cannot possibly be called a terrorist." Yassar Arafat
Sayings and quotes hold wisdom in them. Either the wisdom is found in the correctness of the quote, or in the lesson learned from the error.
Hard part is figuring out who's making the errors...
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