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Old 2008-01-27, 12:31   Link #1
monir
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Naruto Fan-Fiction Thread

Welcome to Naruto Fan-Fiction thread.

This thread is meant for Naruto fanfiction and its discussion. Fanfiction works can be either posted in this thread or in the Fan Creations Forum and linked to in this thread. You may also link to Fanfiction works posted on other sites and discuss it here.

General rules of our forum still apply:
  • No sexually explicit material. Yes, this goes for text format as well.
  • Be polite to your fellow forum members
  • Have fun, but post intelligently

The nature of this thread means there are likely to be people that have complaints about your work. Please note that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Practice mutual respect and debate the issue(s) without resorting to personal attacks. There is no credibility in insults, only trouble.

On a final note: Please understand that people have their own reasons and time constrains they can dedicate to reading stories posted here. Don't go complaining that your work is not getting as much attention as you would like it to; better yourselves and win their attention. (Any posts regarding the issue will be deleted)

Most importantly: have fun

Stolen from Skyfall!
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Old 2008-01-27, 12:36   Link #2
Zaku Hyuga
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Here's my current story
Leaf's Squad 15
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...7377&chapter=2
Please let me know what you think.
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Old 2008-01-27, 12:40   Link #3
Quzor
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Chapter 5 (entitled Betrayal) of my fanfic will be released Tuesday afternoon. Has anyone besides me had difficulty coming up with a really good story for a betrayal? For some reason, I've had some trouble not making it cliche, which it is going to be anyway (fair warning). Just curious, write on!

For anyone who hasn't read them, you can catch the first four chapters here: http://narutofic.org/viewstory.php?sid=7342
Lemme know what you think...enjoy!
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Old 2008-01-27, 14:53   Link #4
tatami
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i did post this on another thread but hell i will post it again
Spoiler for short story:
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Old 2008-01-27, 16:33   Link #5
Vanitas
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I just wanna say w00t! and thanks for the thread

Okay to boost the birth of this wonderful new thread, here are the re-uploaded (and some revised) chapters of Raiu 1-34 Note: You can select any chapter to read so if you've already read one and didn't feel like back-tracking through the "Create your own thread..." you can select said chapter here and click on "Next" at the foot of the page to continue to the following chapter. You can continue proceeding all the way to the last chapter simply by clicking "Next"

Last edited by Vanitas; 2008-02-19 at 23:37.
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Old 2008-01-28, 22:05   Link #6
Zaku Hyuga
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Well here it is, finally.
Leaf's Squad 15 "Chapter 3 The Wakai Kouyou"
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...7377&chapter=3
Sorry it took so long to get written. As you will see from the length it took a long time to type. And with little to no time on the weekend to get it done and school during the week took even longer. Thought I was going to go nuts if it didn't end. I couldn't decide whether or not to make it one chapter or two because of its length, so I just put it in one chapter. Warning it may take a while to get through its longer than chapters one and two combined. Please let me know what you think.

KurayamiLeader:
Spoiler for Hakumei characters:

Now I'm not trying to say your stealing characters or anything like that. I was just amused by the similarities.

Last edited by Zaku Hyuga; 2008-01-28 at 23:22.
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Old 2008-01-28, 23:03   Link #7
Vanitas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaku Hyuga View Post
Well here it is, finally.
Leaf's Squad 15 "Chapter 3 The Wakai Kouyou"
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...7377&chapter=3
Sorry it took so long to get written. As you will see from the length it took a long time to type. And with little to no time on the weekend to get it done and school during the week took even longer. Thought I was going to go nuts if it didn't end. I couldn't decide whether or not to make it one chapter or two because of its length, so I just put it in one chapter. Warning it may take a while to get through its longer than chapters one and two combined. Please let me know what you think.

KurayamiLeader:
[SPOILER=Hakumei characters]
It seems to me that the Hakumei seem quite a bit like the Akatsuke, just collecting crystals instead of Jinchuuriki. And I noticed that a couple of the members look very familiar. Maybe you didn't even notice yourself.
Ryuuk Mugato= Zabuza
Kangerou=Deidera
Ryouga=Dousu, now I have to say they look exactly like each other
Koujoumaru=Orochimaru, I know you can definitely see the resemblence in facial features and the names
Taiga Suishi=Kisame, now this one doesn't look as much alike as the others do but there are some similarities.

Now I'm not trying to say your stealing characters or anything like that. I was just amused by the similarities.
Naruto's been deep-seated in my sub-conscious for a while now, anyways none of them turned out EXACTLY like how I envisioned them
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Old 2008-01-29, 02:25   Link #8
The_Dark_One
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Hey.
Heres a re-post of my Fanfiction, "Naruto Enru.

Prologue: Entering! Katoso Shunin!
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...ze=0&chapter=1

Chapter 1: Surprise! A New Comrade!
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...ze=0&chapter=2

Chapter 2:"Breaking an Entry!"
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...ze=0&chapter=3

Also, heres some previous pic's I drew of squad 4;
Spoiler for Squad 4:


Working on next 3 installments. Should be out soon
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Old 2008-01-29, 10:48   Link #9
Vanitas
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Okay I'm back, and with some better rebuttals.


Quote:
It seems to me that the Hakumei seem quite a bit like the Akatsuke, just collecting crystals instead of Jinchuuriki. And I noticed that a couple of the members look very familiar. Maybe you didn't even notice yourself
I did notice from when I created the group up until now, if you want to make comparisions on subtle motifs, you could compare Kuromeru & Shiroi to Zabuza & Haku. I'm trying to make Raiu different from Naruto in the aspect that the choices and plots are different yet similar in the feeling and the action. The entire backstory of Hakumei is a spoiler and I will not reveal it at this time, however since they are going after sacred artifacts I should think that they would need no less than 2-men at any which time, considering the shinobi villages wouldn't just hand them over like they did jinchuuriki. Did you suspect that there maybe more to Hakumei than meet's the eye, their overall plot has yet to be revealed so it is too early to make assumptions, I posted Hakumei Role Call merely to show what may come in future's time, it is not an official critique.


Quote:
Ryuuk Mugato= Zabuza
The only conceivable resemblance to Zabuza I can detect is the greatsword Ryuuk wields, besides that he uses Katon primarily NOT Suiton, and he hails from Konoha NOT Kirigakure. Ryuuk and Zabuza are on two different worlds and levels, Ryuuk's sword absorbs large portions of blood from the victim, where as Zabuza's saber does not have any special qualities. I honestly don't know why you compared these two they look nothing alike aside from the greatswords, and I have yet to see a rule stating that only nin from Kiri could possess one.

Quote:
Kagerou=Deidera
What, because he has long bangs and likes to blow stuff up? Unlike Dei, Kag's specialty IS transforming things into bombs, not chewing up clay and using a jutsu to make it into C4. Kagerou was Kumogakure's ariel bombadier specialist, and a tinkerer before that, and he even rides a cloud he can summon. Besides his long hair has no resemblence at all to deidara in this case, it looks more like Ryoko. Not to mention Kagerou is more of a trickster/playful than just a crazed bloodthirsty villain.

Quote:
Ryouga=Dousu, now I have to say they look exactly like each other
I was going for the Dosu look as far as the furry cape thing goes, and a little Kakuzu in the mask. I don't know what his face shall look like yet.

Quote:
Koujoumaru=Orochimaru, I know you can definitely see the resemblence in facial features and the names
To put it, the extension "Maru" is ever present in shounen manga and anime everywhere and I will give you some examples in Naruto: "Shikamaru', "Yashamaru", "Konohomaru", "Genyumaru","Kidomaru", and of course "Orchimaru". Notice that I had at least five names listed before I even listed Oro's name. Kagemaru is also a popular name, but not in Naruto. And as far as his personality goes, Koujoumaru is not much like Orochimaru, if anything he's more Posion Ivy, if you judge solely on appearances you might as well compare Dosu to Zabuza, they looked like they could be brothers. Koujou = plant; Koujoumaru = plant type not snake freaky pedo type.

Quote:
Taiga Suihoshi=Kisame, now this one doesn't look as much alike as the others do but there are some similarities.
Why, because he hails from Mist, or has the teeth? Everyone we have encountered from the hidden mist so far has had the same shark-like teeth: "Zabuza", "Kisame", and "Suigetsu", with the exception of Haku.

Quote:
Now I'm not trying to say your stealing characters or anything like that. I was just amused by the similarities.
Right, but obviously whatever distinct similarities exist are apparent to the author (i.e. Ryouga/Kakuzu (or Dosu) was a dead give away). It wasn't necessary to go through and individually point them all out to me in a post, obviously there are going to be some unavoidable similarities this IS Naruto and not Full Metal Alchemist, the laws/techniques are different in Naruto and it's difficult coming up with a decent S-Class villain with entirely unique abilities who can't get pawned by let's say: Ino Yamanaka. I was amused at how you made it seem like I was trying to cover-up a crime scene or something.

Don't get me wrong I value criticism and even more so, constructive criticism. However, when there's nothing being made but comparisions on the appearances of said individuals its not really criticism. You probably didn't mention any of their skills or kekkai-genkai's in your critique because alot of them haven't been revealed yet, and I simply don't wish to spoil the future I merely want to give a snippit of things to come and do be warned that these all may change within time (i.e. names - everything).

Last edited by Vanitas; 2008-01-29 at 11:07.
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Old 2008-01-29, 11:41   Link #10
Quzor
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Well, it's here. Chapter 5 of my fanfic has come to fruition:

http://narutofic.org/viewstory.php?sid=7342&chapter=5

Feel free to read at your leisure, and don't be afraid to rate it there () or give some feedback here. I'd be interested to know what you all think up to this point.

On another note, the next chapter of this story will probably be the last chapter, after which I will most likely take some time off before beginning a new story, which I believe will be the story of my lovable drunk, Tsuzashi Mitsuki.
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Old 2008-01-29, 13:01   Link #11
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quzor View Post
Well, it's here. Chapter 5 of my fanfic has come to fruition:

http://narutofic.org/viewstory.php?sid=7342&chapter=5

Feel free to read at your leisure, and don't be afraid to rate it there () or give some feedback here. I'd be interested to know what you all think up to this point.

On another note, the next chapter of this story will probably be the last chapter, after which I will most likely take some time off before beginning a new story, which I believe will be the story of my lovable drunk, Tsuzashi Mitsuki.
Very nice. I much like the writing style. However, there was one thing I didn't understand: Why does "Tsubashi" always have quotes around it like that? Is that not his real name?
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Old 2008-01-29, 13:12   Link #12
Quzor
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Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
Very nice. I much like the writing style. However, there was one thing I didn't understand: Why does "Tsubashi" always have quotes around it like that? Is that not his real name?
Correct. It's the name he operates under. I didn't put it in the story (I suppose I should have), but when his service was purchased by Yobori, they gave him that name to use. It has a two-fold purpose: 1) It keeps his identity a secret from people who may want him assassinated, and 2) it keeps information known about the clan to a minimum. Because of their reputation, the "Devil's Offspring" are widely regarded as the most dangerous clan in the world, and most villages want their members killed.

Hmm...maybe I should do a story about them
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Old 2008-01-29, 13:22   Link #13
Vanitas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quzor View Post
Correct. It's the name he operates under. I didn't put it in the story (I suppose I should have), but when his service was purchased by Yobori, they gave him that name to use. It has a two-fold purpose: 1) It keeps his identity a secret from people who may want him assassinated, and 2) it keeps information known about the clan to a minimum. Because of their reputation, the "Devil's Offspring" are widely regarded as the most dangerous clan in the world, and most villages want their members killed.

Hmm...maybe I should do a story about them
I'm intrigued, this getting very good
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Old 2008-01-29, 15:34   Link #14
Spectacular_Insanity
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Well, I finally got something for you guys to read. I hope it's alright. It's not much, but at least it's SOMETHING.

Team Iwagakure Chapter 1: New Beginnings
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Old 2008-01-29, 19:53   Link #15
Zaku Hyuga
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KurayamiLeader View Post
Spoiler for KurayamiLeader's response:

Jeesh dude, I can't believe you got all defensive on me. I wasn't trying to be a critic in the least. I just saw some similarities in facial features other aspects of the drawings, I wasn't even comparing the details about the character's history, skills, and all of that other stuff. I didn't meen for it to seem like I was saying that you were trying to cover up that the characters were similar. I'm sorry you took it that way, I was just pointing out some similarities. I also can't believe you spent all that time coming up with those rebukes. lol , they were very good though, even if I was saying that you were copying characters, you would have blown me out of the water, good job By the way, since we're talking about your creations at the moment. I've read up to chapter 4 of Raiu, It's awesome. I love the detail you put into the story, and the one fight I've read so far was great.

Quzor: Just finished chapter 5. I think that may be your best chapter yet, with all of the detail put into the way you told the history and how everything went down. Anyways great chapter can't wait for the finale.

Spectacular_Insanity: Awesome story so far, I felt like I was reading from a published book, because of how well it is written. Keep on writing.

Last edited by Zaku Hyuga; 2008-01-29 at 20:21.
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Old 2008-01-29, 21:05   Link #16
Reith
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Thumbs up

Hey to my friends from the CYOJOC thread, Insanity, Zaku, Kurayami, Quzor and my future reviewers. I'm posting my fanfics here so you don't have to back to the other thread.

The Continued Legacy
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4017567/...ntinued_Legacy

All I Want is Sakura,
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3876218/...want_is_Sakura

The Leaf Village Life,
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3868104/...f_Village_Life


Plz review, and put the reviews on the thread. (4 sum people who may not know)
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Old 2008-01-29, 21:28   Link #17
Flaming Rasengan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tatami View Post
i did post this on another thread but hell i will post it again
Spoiler for short story:
lol nice one
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Old 2008-01-29, 21:28   Link #18
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reith View Post
Hey to my friends from the CYOJOC thread, Insanity, Zaku, Kurayami, Quzor and my future reviewers. I'm posting my fanfics here so you don't have to back to the other thread.

The Continued Legacy
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4017567/...ntinued_Legacy

All I Want is Sakura,
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3876218/...want_is_Sakura

The Leaf Village Life,
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3868104/...f_Village_Life


Plz review, and put the reviews on the thread. (4 sum people who may not know)
I can't reach the pages, the links don't seem to work.

(for future reference, make sure your links are PERMANENT LINKS and also test them yourself to make sure they work beforehand )
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Old 2008-01-29, 22:29   Link #19
Zaku Hyuga
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Well guys here's my new story. It's going to be a collection of silly stories that happen to the characters of Naruto.
Naruto Bloopers "Chapter 1 The Super Sexy Jutsu"
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...7443&chapter=1
Let me know what you think of it.
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Old 2008-01-29, 22:48   Link #20
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaku Hyuga View Post
Well guys here's my new story. It's going to be a collection of silly stories that happen to the characters of Naruto.
Naruto Bloopers "Chapter 1 The Super Sexy Jutsu"
http://www.narutofic.org/viewstory.p...7443&chapter=1
Let me know what you think of it.
OMFG LOL! That was too funny for words. My favorites: Sasuke, Asuma, Kakashi, and Jiraiya. Especially Jiraiya.
Spoiler for manga:
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