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Old 2008-04-10, 12:54   Link #161
kayote
Looking for ONE PIECE
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Sleeping Forest
how do you get from the friend to the boyfriend. how do you know what the other person is thinking?

i think some people like me are probly afried that if they do ask that person out than the thing that they have now will be ruined.
and than it becomes awakward.
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Old 2008-04-10, 15:16   Link #162
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
yeah, and that is the stuff of drama that much of anime devotes time to (example: Lovely*Complex).

you don't until you ask and no one disagrees that it isn't a terrifying moment.
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Old 2008-04-10, 15:47   Link #163
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayote View Post
how do you get from the friend to the boyfriend. how do you know what the other person is thinking?

i think some people like me are probly afried that if they do ask that person out than the thing that they have now will be ruined.
and than it becomes awakward.
There was a recent study (take it with a grain of salt) which showed that males are terrible at reading females' intentions and thoughts. Interestingly the males didn't err on the end of thinking that females wanted sex/a relationship more often than they actually did; males even misinterpreted that. (I've done both, myslf Nobody was there to tell me about the former; hindsight is 20/20, but my sister informed me about the latter.)

This advice is more suited to the dating thread, but a lot of it is that you have to consider why you want to escalate your relationship to being above friendship. If you're just desperate for a relationship, you're in a bad place. If you're thinking clearly and you feel that this person could really contribute to your life and that you could contribute back to hers, then go for it. If you pull it off well enough, you may not lose anything but a bit of your pride from a rejection. If you're accepted, it's one of the best feelings in the world and hopefully it'll stay that way.

Nothing risked, nothing gained, as the saying goes. It's a harrowing experience, but once it's over and done you get to advise other people about it! How fun

As for me, the first girl I asked out rejected me and then avoided me for about a year (she was pretty shy, herself). We weren't that close to begin with, though. I also wasn't very smooth. The first girl I dated was a different story - I broke up with her, but did it in such a way that she offered me back (I politely declined) and we remained on friendly terms. We're not that close anymore, but I don't think that either of us tried very hard.

Just remain mature about it, know what you want, and don't let things get to you. If you're confident enough about it and stick by your values and desires, other people will take directional queues from you. Have courage.
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Old 2008-04-10, 17:30   Link #164
tripperazn
Toyosaki Aki
*Scanlator
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayote View Post
how do you get from the friend to the boyfriend. how do you know what the other person is thinking?

i think some people like me are probly afried that if they do ask that person out than the thing that they have now will be ruined.
and than it becomes awakward.
The Ladder Theory

(Don't take that too seriously, they're half-joking, but only half...)
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Old 2008-04-10, 17:50   Link #165
chison
GSNMaSter
*Artist
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sheffield
Age: 28
i'm a asian man in UK ,never dated before
i just felt it will make life more difficult to try to in search of an asian women in a foright country...

and i was alway thinking of that asian women make a better couple with UK man.w.

and is was more interesting to......
anyway,maybe i just weird...
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Old 2008-04-10, 20:23   Link #166
kayos
RETIRED
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claude View Post
I'm guessing that's from being asian but not Japanese.
Oh contraire my dear Watson, my surname is chinese while my forename is japanese. I'll leave that up to you to decipher who or what I am.

Well anyway rolling back on topic. as a guy who was raised in New York City within mixed communities, I have always witness asians dating other asians, it was normal to see people dating within their race. What wasn't normal was seeing interracial couples... but that was back in the days of my early childhood (late 80s to early 90s).

As time changes you would see more and more people dating outside their own race, I don't think it's because they "just" want to date someone of a different ethnic or skin color/looks but because they find something special within that individual.

Moving along customs and traditions have changed with time, more communities are becoming familiar (friendly) with interracial dating, Therefore one does not need to be afraid of being ridicule or mock for dating another race (not really... sometimes).

Maybe it was the fear of being out casted by the community, or maybe it was the fear of shaming ones family within the community that restricted someone to date only their kind.

What I'm trying to say is that it's more common to see interracial dating now since it's not that restrictive anymore. Asian womens have more choices now and can freely chooses whoever to their liking (not being exclusive to just asian guys anymore). Can you say time exclusive.
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Old 2008-04-11, 01:54   Link #167
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
Try to be aware that you're posting to the entire planet. Not all countries or cultures are quite as "ok" with interracial frolicking as some. So your mileage may vary depending on where you're standing. My wife (sansei) and I (31flavors-europe) still get the occasional glare depending on where we're at.

And as we can see from some previous posts, what passes for humor varies as well
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Old 2008-04-11, 02:20   Link #168
kayos
RETIRED
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
My apology, I thought stating that "as a guy from New York City" would give off the notion that I was talking about New York City and not around the world. I tend to be vague at times with my descriptions, I'm not very good with words.
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Old 2008-04-11, 02:23   Link #169
Astrana
MMmmmm Bacon~~~
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: OPAI
Age: 29
money talks, money represent security, at least in China. I had a fight with some chinese girl once cuz she was saying it's ok for girls to go after guys money. you see alot caucasians with asian gf in asia cuz the girls assume all caucasians has money
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Old 2008-04-11, 18:06   Link #170
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
Its that "practical" streak keeping the "fantasy romance" in check. There's also some cultural expectation differences.
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Old 2008-04-13, 05:53   Link #171
Samari
World's Greatest
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrana View Post
money talks, money represent security, at least in China. I had a fight with some chinese girl once cuz she was saying it's ok for girls to go after guys money. you see alot caucasians with asian gf in asia cuz the girls assume all caucasians has money
Money...I love it and hate it.
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Old 2008-04-29, 23:13   Link #172
bbduece
Ultimate Coordinator
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: San Francisco
Asian women in non-asian countries are socially stratified into that culture's type of man. But there are tons of asian women equally attracted to Asian guys. Maybe the guy complaining just dont got the goods.
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Old 2008-04-30, 00:36   Link #173
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
Learning how not to be a jerk is something the males of many cultures need work on.

At least in Japan, they're offering classes that teach men how "not to be jerks" so half the wives won't just divorce their husbands with the handy new pension distribution laws.
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Old 2008-04-30, 00:55   Link #174
ThoHell
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Hmm, I'm the exact opposite of this thread. I don't date Asian women...... Please don't think I'm some Asian hater, I'm Vietnamese. Each has his or her own taste, but sometimes surprises come up. Ok I take it back, I'm rarely interested in Asian women, but the only girl I ever loved was Asian..........
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Old 2008-04-30, 00:57   Link #175
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
Thats fine ... we'll just all trade da wimmen around and everyone should be able to find one that clicks with 'em

(More seriously, that's kind of is why I find the thread rather amusing... )
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Old 2008-04-30, 15:37   Link #176
kitto-chan
很快是工程師
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ゴミ箱の存在の他の平野
Oh for the love of GOD, LET THIS THREAD DIE

its making me feel depress.
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Old 2008-04-30, 16:34   Link #177
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 57
Agreed.. .though the problem with expressing the wish for a thread to die is that it simply bumps the thread back up where even more new eyeballs feel the need to put their two cents in
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Old 2008-04-30, 21:45   Link #178
Ermes Marana
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Unfortunately for me, I am only interested in half asian / half jewish girls who speak french and who are at least 5'10".

I'm not even sure such a girl exists.
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