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Old 2008-05-19, 15:46   Link #61
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post


Eva! You double posted!

!!!

Well, gotta keep the OC index and backlog breaker separate . Not my fault people aren't posting fast enough to separate my posts
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Old 2008-05-19, 18:40   Link #62
ghazghkull
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And the thread has gone silent

*sighs*
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Old 2008-05-19, 18:42   Link #63
Comartemis
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Worry not ghaz, I'm putting the finishing touches on a new character as we speak. Haxxbusters, prepare for combat!
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Old 2008-05-19, 18:43   Link #64
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Worry not ghaz, I'm putting the finishing touches on a new character as we speak. Haxxbusters, prepare for combat!


Combat?



Interesting...choice of words ><

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Old 2008-05-19, 18:45   Link #65
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
And the thread has gone silent

*sighs*
*prods*

Go write up a OC vault like th rest of us to list all those fics you've been writing . That'll give you something to do for a bit
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Old 2008-05-19, 18:49   Link #66
stormturmoil
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Rebuild of Turmoil

Spoiler for lengthy profile:


Spoiler for notes:


despite this, he's still mainly a support type character...

He may not be Awesome, but he's got your Back...

Or should that be (and for the original owner of this phrase too, for those that recognize it...)

That: He IS awesome BECAUSE he's got your back?

Mahou Shounen Medical David, Hajimarimas

Last edited by stormturmoil; 2009-03-23 at 20:28.
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Old 2008-05-19, 18:51   Link #67
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
*prods*

Go write up a OC vault like th rest of us to list all those fics you've been writing . That'll give you something to do for a bit
I have a separate vault for my fics :3

It's in my signature if you actually pay attention :3

I have a link that leads to my characters, and then another vault that leads to my fics, which includes my fics for OC :3
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Old 2008-05-19, 19:23   Link #68
AdmiralTigerclaw
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Stuff up:



Time Space Administration Beaurau Experimental Systems Test Force

Spoiler for TSAB Best Force:
__________________
"Escalating a war is not how I envisioned this vacation..."
Ernest 'Admiral Tigerclaw' Hart
OWNER: Samurai Penguin Studios
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Last edited by AdmiralTigerclaw; 2008-11-09 at 17:45.
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Old 2008-05-19, 19:24   Link #69
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Page two:



Seventh Armada, Third Fleet: TSAB Naval Command, Special Weapons and Tactics unit:
SHOCK ENFORCERS

Spoiler for Shock Enforcers:
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Old 2008-05-19, 19:43   Link #70
Comartemis
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Spoiler for Xiro Alistair:


Alright, here's the latest headbanger for the haxxbusters to have fun with. If anybody looks at this and doesn't see a AAA-rank for whatever reason, try to keep in mind that Xiro (pronounced "Zero", just so we're clear) is supposed to have gained his rank through an absurd level of skill in melee, not through beamspam and overwhelming power.
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Old 2008-05-19, 20:57   Link #71
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Despite having only the most basic magical education, Xiro quickly proved himself to possess a great deal of natural talent, as well as a coveted wind-elemental affinity which allowed him to rise through the ranks quickly upon his graduation. He continued his education following his graduation from the GFA, putting himself through Air Forces special training and advancing to the coveted position of Supreme Air Force Aggressor by the time he was seventeen years old.
This isn't even HAXX. Your execution on this particular trait of Xiro is nothing but sheer stupidity.

How does one jump from the Ground Forces AKA the ARMY to the AIR FORCE?! Explain to me, how exactly does one, who has been trained in the art of war meant for the Ground, suddenly jump into training for something meant for the Air Force?!

Quote:
Shortly after being placed in the SAFA, Xiro was partnered with Takamachi Nanoha. While his “partner in crime” was more interested in training new recruits than in testing new weaponry, Xiro took the opposite route, becoming a test pilot for a wide array of new advancements, including the prototype of the Blaster System, which he recommended to Nanoha under the condition that she exercise extreme caution in its’ usage.
Okay that's just breaking canon into your own storyline.

The Blaster System, was Nanoha's own design! The Blaster System is part of Raising Heart, just as Excellion, Aggressor, and Exceed are part of the system that is known as Raising Heart.

Another thing, it's Nanoha's JOB to test every single new weapons system that comes through her department.

Quote:
Spoiler for Fragrach:
FRAGRACH?! HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN Fate/Hallow Atraxia?!!!! Fragrach is a bloody blade! Not some three piece Lance!


Quote:
Slipstream: One of the secrets to Xiro’s speed. Slipstream is a wind-element speed boost spell that creates a bubble of air around Xiro. This bubble diverts the air in front of him away from Xiro while he is in flight, effectively reducing his drag to zero and allowing him to fly at incredibly high speeds.
Okay you had better do better research on how to reduce drag, because a simple bubble shape won't do it. I will leave it at that.

Quote:
Zero Shift: Xiro’s Flash Move equvilant. Identical in most respects to other forms of extreme-speed spells, Zero Shift has the additional effect of obscuring Xiro’s form while in movement due to the large amounts of air this spell displaces while in use.
Okay...explain to me PHYSICALLY how does the AIR around is distort images for a sustained flight?!

Watch this video. Although there are distortions, it's BEHIND the jet in this video.

Spoiler for Breaking Sound Barrier:


Quote:
Reinforcement: A standard Belkan spell every knight worth their weapon knows. Reinforcement is the art of using one’s magical energies to reinforce their bodies and weapons, making themselves faster, stronger, and more durable. Xiro usually uses this power to boost his strength and endurance, though ironically he’s not so good at boosting his speed with this spell. He can also reinforce his eyes, ears, and nose to sharpen his senses, and Fragrach to boost its’ durability.
What a moot spell, and such a direct copy of Shirou's Reinforcement Sorcery.

Enough said.

Quote:
Thunder Shock: A wind-element spell similar to Vita’s Eisengeheul, this spell creates a ball of highly-pressurized air which Xiro can detonate on command, effectively acting as a magical flashbang grenade. The spell is named for the sound the spell makes on detonation, that of a crack of thunder. Fragrach is programmed to recognize the casting of this spell and redirect extra power to Xiro’s knight armor, allowing him to detonate this spell at short range and not suffer any ill effects.
Do you even know what in the world creates a "crack of thunder"? Most definitely not wind! Plus, Eisengeheul is generating an actual sound, which is amplified to stunning levels through Vita's magic.

Quote:
Tempest Blade: Xiro uses Fragrach as the base of a powerful anti-magic shield while whirling the spear in front of him to deflect physical attacks.

Cyclone Blade: A powered-up version of Tempest Blade used with Fragrach in its Full Drive form. Here, the spell is layered across the six lances creating a multi-level shield with extremely high defensive power against magic damage. The six whirling lances also make attacking in melee a daunting prospect, and a careless adversary may be cut to ribbons by the dancing blades. Classified as an S-rank shield spell, this is one of the most powerful spells in Xiro’s arsenal.
Very unoriginal.

I'm not going to even look at the other stuff, because I'm getting a bloody headache out of this.

This is NOT an Original Character. This is an amalgamation of various Fate/stay night references, along with pointless add-ons, and serious breach of canon.

You need to seriously stop taking major references, and make up your own concepts. All of my characters, all of Keroko's characters, heck almost everyone's characters are original. Their physical appearances may be based off of other material, but none of them uses the traits that those characters are known for.

They are unique.

They are different from the character that their appearances were based from.

They are ORIGINAL.

There is a second meaning to OC besides Outer Cadia: ORIGINAL CHARACTER
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Old 2008-05-19, 21:58   Link #72
Liingo
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Ghaz, calm down mate... (actually you're probably calm but that's beside the point )

Quote:
You need to seriously stop taking major references, and make up your own concepts. All of my characters, all of Keroko's characters, heck almost everyone's characters are original. Their physical appearances may be based off of other material, but none of them uses the traits that those characters are known for.
I should take this time to point out that just about everything imagianable has been thought up by someone else already so inevitably you're going to have some parallels to characters in other worlds. The trick is to come up with a combination that is fairly unique.

Also on the Reinforcement technique that Cort has included, I would say that the majority of the Belkan OC's will have a similar spell so your point is rather moot. It's in canon already so there's no point re-inventing something that already works. If you're making it better in some way, well that's a different kettle of fish

Need to get to class now so I'll be back later.
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Old 2008-05-19, 23:06   Link #73
Comartemis
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*Is blown away by ghaz's yelling*

Clearly I need to think about this a bit more if there's so much wrong with this idea. Now let's break this down piece by piece.

Quote:
How does one jump from the Ground Forces AKA the ARMY to the AIR FORCE?! Explain to me, how exactly does one, who has been trained in the art of war meant for the Ground, suddenly jump into training for something meant for the Air Force?!
I am under the impression that GFA is essentially combat magic school for beginners. If you have the talent to become an Air mage, you can then move into the Air forces, where the workload and, hence, magical stresses on the body are generally higher. I specifically remember something being said about how you have to be at least an A-rank mage to get into the Air Force right off the bat, which implies that a transfer from the GFA is not only possible but probably rather common, since natural A-ranks and above (our beloved Aces for instance) are going to be as rare as hen's teeth.

If you have definite proof that that's not the case, by all means show it to me and I'll take this back to the drawing board.

Quote:
The Blaster System, was Nanoha's own design! The Blaster System is part of Raising Heart, just as Excellion, Aggressor, and Exceed are part of the system that is known as Raising Heart.
The entry I read for the SAFA says that they "test new weapon systems and tactics". To my way of thinking, the Blaster System is something Nanoha is essentially putting through a rather rigorous field test.

Also....
Quote:
The Blaster System is part of Raising Heart
So was the cartridge system. You mean to tell me that the CVK-72 never got put through testing before Raising Heart got one installed? Puh-lease. All Xiro did was put the BS through field testing before handing it off to Nanoha, he didn't invent the bloody thing.

Quote:
Another thing, it's Nanoha's JOB to test every single new weapons system that comes through her department.
No, it's the job of the SAFAs in general. If you've got a pair of mages partnered up and working together, why not have each handle the work that they like the most, assuming that it doesn't otherwise interfere with their duties?

Quote:
FRAGRACH?! HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN Fate/Hallow Atraxia?!!!! Fragrach is a bloody blade! Not some three piece Lance!
No, but I have taken a quick glance at the Ullster cycle. Fragarach is a blade that grants it's wielder control over the wind. Are you seeing the reference now?

And calm down before you give yourself a hernia, ghaz.

Quote:
Okay you had better do better research on how to reduce drag, because a simple bubble shape won't do it. I will leave it at that.
*epic facepalm*

It's called "magic" ghaz. It doesn't necessarily have to work the way real life does, you know?

Quote:
What a moot spell, and such a direct copy of Shirou's Reinforcement Sorcery.
....yeah..... and your point is?

Quote:
Okay...explain to me PHYSICALLY how does the AIR around is distort images for a sustained flight?!
Go back and rewatch that video of Sora vs Xaldin, ghaz. He's actually teleporting and creating the same effect. How? Well gee, I dunno....could it be magic?

Quote:
Do you even know what in the world creates a "crack of thunder"? Most definitely not wind!
Sound, ghaz. It sounds like a crack of thunder, it is not a crack of thunder. That would be the domain of lightning spells.

Quote:
I'm not going to even look at the other stuff, because I'm getting a bloody headache out of this.
If something as minor as a flawed idea is giving you a headache, then you need to calm down and stop taking this so seriously, ghaz.
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Old 2008-05-19, 23:14   Link #74
Tk3997
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New thread huh? Eh nothing new for me I can still recall some old forum RPs were we went to three or even four threads.

Anyway Index Repost time:
TK's Crap:
Characters:
Spoiler for Garm Team:


Felix Munro

Alan Aiken

General Jack O’Neil

Rose Bush and Daisy Thorn

Shin and Kou


Tony "Cipher" Estrada

Harry "Solo Wing Pixy" Foulk

Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen

Izumi Sato

Rebbecca Keller

Groups:
75th Ranger Regiment

Machines:
Excalibur Class

Timelines/History:
Spoiler for Pan-Usea War:


Fics:
Current Project:
The Unsung War: Currently the focus of all writing efforts. Set post Strikers Epilogue VitaxOC pairing eventually.

Chapter 1.1, 1.2, 1.3
Chapter 2.1, 2.2, 2.3
Chapter 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, 3.4
Chapter: 4.1, 4.2, 4.3
Past Fics: These have little real continuity between most series although some minor references is going on, still most can be read as one shots and are written that way. Most are also fragmented and incomplete may or may not remain so depending on author laziness read 90% chance they're never finished.

Felix Interview Series:
Part 1
Part 2

Pan-Usea War Series:
Part 1

The Obligatory RF6 Visit
Part 1
Part 2
Fight Teaser:
The Aftermath:

TK’s Keroko Day (week) Specials (semi-canon):
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 Pep Talk:
One shot
(Note: Somewhat disjointed without context read thread threw from post 10387 for best effect)

Normal Day at the SOPCC:
One shot

Non-Canon:
These are old ideas that are no longer valid to my fanon though aspects of them might appear in altered form at later dates.
Unamed Post StrikerS Arc ([joke only he gets]NamelesS maybe? [/joke only he gets]):
Chapter 1
Chapter 1.5
Chapter 2.1

Usea 15 Years later:
Part 1
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Last edited by Tk3997; 2009-08-19 at 12:42.
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Old 2008-05-19, 23:41   Link #75
Tormenk
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Rather than a system developed for general purpose, the BS was probably designed to fit Nanoha and RH, just as Riot Zamber is for Fate and BA. It doesn't seem to fit if Xiro, a melee mage, would be suitable to test the system which just makes beamspam more potent, something your character certainly doesn't do much of. If anything, it would be best to just let Nanoha test it herself to see what fits and what doesn't. Kind of like asking another person to try on a pair of pants to see whether it would fit on you.

If you do insist on Xiro being the field tester, he's probably going to get the short end of the stick. Considering the detrimental effect of the system and a prototype at that, he's bound for a couple hospital visits.
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Old 2008-05-19, 23:49   Link #76
Comartemis
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See, that's the kind of advice I like to get. Tell me what's wrong, give suggestions on how to fix it. Much better than "ZOMG this is stupid/unoriginal/haxxed-out-the-arse!"

Yeah, having Xiro be testing a beamspam machine doesn't make all that much sense now that I think more on it. What I wanted to do by having Nanoha and Xiro know each other through work was to create a kind of "ex-lover" situation here where all the emotion is on Xiro's side and Nanoha, for her part, is clueless. Xiro is essentially the outsider looking in at Fate and Nanoha, wishing he were a part of what they have, but knowing that it can never happen. And this isn't some lame-ass fic where he winds up in a harem with both of them, either. Xiro's gonna have to find someone else to get his romantic fix.
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Old 2008-05-19, 23:54   Link #77
ghazghkull
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Well here's a repost of Farukon's profile. Some editing here and there.

Spoiler for Reddo Farukon:
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Old 2008-05-20, 00:57   Link #78
Tormenk
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Well Comar if the stuff you are posting are going to raised some eyebrows, it would be best to think hard and do a couple of self-edits before coming here. Haxxbusters are there to point out if something is off or not easily accepted otherwise, it's not like they are getting paid to haxxbust, nor do any of them seem to particularly enjoy doing so. So save them the trouble and think twice about your own work if you know it's going to cause them to headbang.
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Old 2008-05-20, 01:13   Link #79
LimitedEternal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
Well Comar if the stuff you are posting are going to raised some eyebrows, it would be best to think hard and do a couple of self-edits before coming here. Haxxbusters are there to point out if something is off or not easily accepted otherwise, it's not like they are getting paid to haxxbust, nor do any of them seem to particularly enjoy doing so. So save them the trouble and think twice about your own work if you know it's going to cause them to headbang.
Ironically, if I need advice on whether something might be haxx, I ask...one of the haxxbusters. :3

Better to run it by them before you set it in stone, than to post it and have them start shooting. Hell, my favorite piece of advice, for anyone, is to run a preliminary of any idea past someone else first. That second opinion can make all the difference in the world.
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Old 2008-05-20, 03:34   Link #80
Keroko
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I've been sort of absent, I know, but I recently managed to pick up a copy of Grandia.

Imagine me falling out of my bed in surprise when I saw my name come across the screen not even a few minutes into play.

Of course, that just begs for an OC-fication. :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormturmoil View Post
Rebuild of Turmoil

Spoiler for lengthy profile:


Spoiler:


Mahou Shounen Medical David, Hajimarimas
I like what you did with it. The Savant abillity has H4XX potentional, but that is mostly negated by his B-rank.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Shortly after being placed in the SAFA, Xiro was partnered with Takamachi Nanoha. While his “partner in crime” was more interested in training new recruits than in testing new weaponry, Xiro took the opposite route, becoming a test pilot for a wide array of new advancements, including the prototype of the Blaster System, which he recommended to Nanoha under the condition that she exercise extreme caution in its’ usage.
Hmm, I'm agreeing with the others here, I have no problems with him being in the SAFA, but it doesn't make much sense for him to have tested the Blaster System, much less adviced Nanoha to have used it (on another note, Nanoha too participated in the testing of new weaponry, there is nothing to indicate she prefered training above her other duties).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
It was during this brief time, however, that Xiro also began to develop strong feelings for his coworker. Attracted to Nanoha by her eternally-upbeat attitude and positive outlook on life (among many many other reasons), Xiro managed to ask Nanoha out on several “friendly outings” together, which Nanoha accepted under the belief that she was merely spending time with a friend. It wasn’t until several weeks into their one-sided relationship that Xiro happened to catch Nanoha and Fate in the middle of a private moment, shattering any illusions he’d had that Nanoha returned his feelings.
*blink* Uhm... what? Oh, wait, this is another character that is for private use, isn't it? Because... you know... Nanoha and Fate aren't like that canonically.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
This isn't even HAXX. Your execution on this particular trait of Xiro is nothing but sheer stupidity.

How does one jump from the Ground Forces AKA the ARMY to the AIR FORCE?! Explain to me, how exactly does one, who has been trained in the art of war meant for the Ground, suddenly jump into training for something meant for the Air Force?!
Because that's how the TSAB works, Ghaz.

Spoiler for IS: Silver Retriever:


Unless you're A-ranked or above, you can't start flight training, which means that 90% of the Air Force mages will start in the Ground Force. Even Teana is in the Ground Force with the idea of rising to the Air Force once she has enough experience. Xiro's bio is nothing out of the ordinary in that regard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
The entry I read for the SAFA says that they "test new weapon systems and tactics". To my way of thinking, the Blaster System is something Nanoha is essentially putting through a rather rigorous field test.
While you could look at it that way, doesn't that also mean that it is Nanoha, not Xiro, that participated in its testing?
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Last edited by Keroko; 2008-05-20 at 04:31.
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