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Old 2008-05-20, 07:35   Link #81
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Worry not ghaz, I'm putting the finishing touches on a new character as we speak. Haxxbusters, prepare for combat!
You must be crazy today, my boy...VERY crazy.

*cracks another bullet down the Black King*

*cracks his knuckles*

I'm ready for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Shortly after being placed in the SAFA, Xiro was partnered with Takamachi Nanoha. While his “partner in crime” was more interested in training new recruits than in testing new weaponry, Xiro took the opposite route, becoming a test pilot for a wide array of new advancements, including the prototype of the Blaster System, which he recommended to Nanoha under the condition that she exercise extreme caution in its’ usage.

It was during this brief time, however, that Xiro also began to develop strong feelings for his coworker. Attracted to Nanoha by her eternally-upbeat attitude and positive outlook on life (among many many other reasons), Xiro managed to ask Nanoha out on several “friendly outings” together, which Nanoha accepted under the belief that she was merely spending time with a friend. It wasn’t until several weeks into their one-sided relationship that Xiro happened to catch Nanoha and Fate in the middle of a private moment, shattering any illusions he’d had that Nanoha returned his feelings.
Hmmm...you ship NanoFate too...that makes you all the more my enemy.

*prepares to shoot Comart...*

Ah, what am I thinking? This is a h4xxbusting rifle, not a shipping-war rifle. You got lucky, I forgot to bring the other one today

And Shadow attacks? Too much Hollow/Ataraxia for me already, but I'll let that pass me a bit. Just a bit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Xiro’s powerset revolves largely around his wind-elemental spells and his incredible speed. Xiro’s fighting style is as freeform and flexible as the wind itself. He can strike and fade like a sudden breeze, or unleash his rage with the explosive power of a hurricane. In battle he is extremely agile and skilled with his spear, Fragrach, and uses his wind-element spells to boost his speed and agility further than almost any mage in the entire bureau.
...God, Lancer, Lancer, Lancer. I said I'd let it pass, though, and so I will. Thank GOD lightning is faster than wind, though

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Spoiler for Device Details:
@Ghaz: You needn't get frustrated. Fragarach DOES indeed control the wind *strikes the Celtic Wind off his list of usable weaponry*

But I MUST admit to you, the Fate/Hollow-Ataraxia refs are getting to me, staved off by my earlier promise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
[SPOILER="Miscellanious Spells"]Telekinesis: The basis of many of Xiro’s abilities and the most fundamental part of his arsenal. Xiro’s telekinesis is a product of his wind affinity, which is at heart the manipulation of kinetic energy. Xiro possesses an extremely high degree of power and control with his telekinesis, and uses this ability to manipulate his lances, launch attacks, turn the environment into an arsenal of weapons, and turn off the alarm clock when he’s too lazy to get out of bed, among many other uses. While Xiro is able to use this ability on people as well as objects, any form of magical protection (such as a barrier jacket) is sufficient to disrupt his control and prevent him from flinging his enemies around like ragdolls.
I wonder what the HELL is the use of his Telekinesis, then, if he can't throw people around. If he has such a high degree of power, heck wonders why if a shockwave can blow a mage, BJ and all, backwards, a focused telekinetic wave cannot do the same. Misguided attempt to self-h4xxbust, I call this.

You just made a rather straightforward skill that I had no problem with (save the power level) a ridiculously paradoxical attack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Slipstream: One of the secrets to Xiro’s speed. Slipstream is a wind-element speed boost spell that creates a bubble of air around Xiro. This bubble diverts the air in front of him away from Xiro while he is in flight, effectively reducing his drag to zero and allowing him to fly at incredibly high speeds.
Good Lord, Comart, where are your laws of aerodynamics? Do a lil' science homework before you tell me (or anyone else) that a bulbous shape reduces drag, thank you very much. I've only taken 2 years of Physics, but I do know that there is no army on earth or out of it that would commission a missile like that.

Even Magneto's "Magnetic Bubble" was more believable

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Zero Shift: Xiro’s Flash Move equvilant. Identical in most respects to other forms of extreme-speed spells, Zero Shift has the additional effect of obscuring Xiro’s form while in movement due to the large amounts of air this spell displaces while in use.
You might as well say that this spell leaves aftershadows, that would make a lot more sense, my friend, than an aerial distortion clinging to its source

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Struggle Bind: Xiro’s only binding spell, identical to Yuuno’s and Chrono’s spells of the same name. Xiro hasn’t completely mastered this spell, and must maintain his focus on the target to prevent the bind from unravelling.
Doesn't everybody have to do that? You've at least gotta tell me that he has trouble with it, or I won't believe this at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Sky Waltz: A basic platform spell Xiro used in his days in the GFA. Simple to the point where Xiro can conjure dozens with a thought, Xiro primarily uses these to make sudden changes in direction while in flight. For a slightly increased mana cost, the spells can be imbued with a springboard effect, causing anything that hits them to bounce off on a wild trajectory. Chains of these spells can be set up to create a pinball effect, as an enemy is bounced from one platform to the next without the chance to regain their bearings.
Oh, Aurion! Someone loves your skill so much he copped it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Knight’s Garb: Much like the Wolkenritter, Xiro prefers to rely on his speed more than his armor, and dresses lightly for battle so as to not interfere with his movements. His knight’s garb consists of a simple blue bodysuit adorned with steel embroidery along the arms, legs, and torso, with a pair of large metal shoulder pauldrons being the most solid piece of armor in his entire ensemble.
Wait-a-minute. Isn't the Knight's Garb unique to the Wolkies?!

It was bleedin' commissioned by their Meister! A retouch job, actually, but heck that, at least Hayate has very good fashion sense, as can be especially seen in Vita and Shamal's dresses

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Thunder Shock: A wind-element spell similar to Vita’s Eisengeheul, this spell creates a ball of highly-pressurized air which Xiro can detonate on command, effectively acting as a magical flashbang grenade. The spell is named for the sound the spell makes on detonation, that of a crack of thunder. Fragrach is programmed to recognize the casting of this spell and redirect extra power to Xiro’s knight armor, allowing him to detonate this spell at short range and not suffer any ill effects.
Xiro: Pika-Pikaaaaaaaa-

-CHUUUUU!!!!!!!!!



The auto-reinforce is quite stupid really. Even Blade and Van Helsing knew to dodge their own phosphorus grenades, for heaven's sake. Any person throwing a flashbang would get out of the way pronto, and secondly, other than being really loud, blinding and altogether seriously irritating, there's not much else a flashbang can do to damage you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Tempest Blade: Xiro uses Fragrach as the base of a powerful anti-magic shield while whirling the spear in front of him to deflect physical attacks.
Sigh...blatant Lancer rip.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Invisible Air: One of Xiro’s most commonly-used spells, this AA-ranked spell involves conjuring a lance of wind and hurling it like a javelin. Because it is made of air, it is impossible to see (save for a slightly visible disturbance in the air) and can only be dodged by judging the angle of Xiro’s throw. Possesses decent penetration power, but can be blocked by most autoguard spells. The lance can also be used as an improvised melee weapon if Xiro is disarmed.
Saber/Lancer rip...

Decent penetration power = can break ANY auto-guard spell. Auto-guards are known to be some of the more pathetic forms of defense in canon, and an AA rank direct attack spell should be more than sufficient to shatter it. Like I said, self-bust if you want, just don't make things sound outright ridiculous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Storm Sickle: A magic-enhanced attack spell classified as AAA-rank, this spell imbues Fragrach with large amounts of magical energy as the spear is whirled over Xiro’s head. The spear is then released as a thrown projectile, transforming into a deadly six-foot long buzzsaw which is guided by Xiro’s telekinesis.
WTFreaking hell?!

Since when was a buzzsaw a SICKLE?! FYI, a sickle is something you swing, and kill a person with because of its hooking ability that comes with its shape and the form of swing. It isn't something that just grinds the hell out of the opponent from the front...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Typhoon Sickle: The most powerful offensive spell in Xiro’s arsenal at present time, Typhoon Sickle is an upgraded version of Storm Sickle used with Fragrach in its’ Full Drive form. The enhanced attack status is applied to all six of Xiro’s lances, which are launched and guided with his telekinesis as per Storm Sickle.
I can imagine that this would make any of my OCs laugh, not because it was weak, but because it looks so ridiculous. And you say his Telekinesis is so weak that it is able to control six such huge roils of energy...but not penetrate a autoguard or a BJ.

I can see them laughing in my head now, those voices that drive me insane

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Alright, here's the latest headbanger for the haxxbusters to have fun with. If anybody looks at this and doesn't see a AAA-rank for whatever reason, try to keep in mind that Xiro (pronounced "Zero", just so we're clear) is supposed to have gained his rank through an absurd level of skill in melee, not through beamspam and overwhelming power.
I don't see the point of the challenge. If anything, it isn't a challenge to US. We can accept that just fine, even though your spell list tells me that his style is quite unlike what you say.

If anything, our OCs will take your challenge. They'll beat him down, as much as we'll beat you down the next time you send us a real challenge, and not some random non-threatening side-note like this

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
This isn't even HAXX. Your execution on this particular trait of Xiro is nothing but sheer stupidity.

How does one jump from the Ground Forces AKA the ARMY to the AIR FORCE?! Explain to me, how exactly does one, who has been trained in the art of war meant for the Ground, suddenly jump into training for something meant for the Air Force?!
Someone's already said something, so I'll hold my peace.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
Okay that's just breaking canon into your own storyline.

The Blaster System, was Nanoha's own design! The Blaster System is part of Raising Heart, just as Excellion, Aggressor, and Exceed are part of the system that is known as Raising Heart.

Another thing, it's Nanoha's JOB to test every single new weapons system that comes through her department.
For Truth. Quoted for Truth. Although to have Xiro work with her isn't too bad, ya know. That poor heartbroken boy.

Which is why you realize that NOBODY in the Air Forces uses stuff that Nanoha designs, it's frickin' suicidal, and only someone like her would try it



OSHI-

*is blown away by STARLIGHT BUREKA*

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
FRAGRACH?! HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN Fate/Hallow Atraxia?!!!! Fragrach is a bloody blade! Not some three piece Lance!
Relax, old fruit. It isn't so bad, and I'm grateful that this is one thing about his OC that isn't a blatant cop-off.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
Very unoriginal.

I'm not going to even look at the other stuff, because I'm getting a bloody headache out of this.

This is NOT an Original Character. This is an amalgamation of various Fate/stay night references, along with pointless add-ons, and serious breach of canon.

You need to seriously stop taking major references, and make up your own concepts. All of my characters, all of Keroko's characters, heck almost everyone's characters are original. Their physical appearances may be based off of other material, but none of them uses the traits that those characters are known for.

They are unique.

They are different from the character that their appearances were based from.

They are ORIGINAL.

There is a second meaning to OC besides Outer Cadia: ORIGINAL CHARACTER
A headache, already?

Your H4xx-bust-Fu is too weak, Ghaz my good fella.

Just kidding, you're probably eons ahead of me, but you really need to hold your cool (at least in a tangible way aka on the Forum)

Honestly, Comartermis, while I used to be irritated easily by major refs, I've slowly become more used to it, and by now porting is perfectly fine by me since I can accept that it's a fact of life by now. However, this, just renaming a character and then spamming refs, without an attempt to disguise the refs, is a bit too much for my palate still.

And I will confess that Liingo is right in that most if not all concepts have already been tried, I'm one of those idealists that believes that there's still something out there that we still dare not try, and that there are more walls beyond the fourth. Also, even if that ideal fails, I'm willing to accept the reality, that many times we must use combinations.

So a piece of advice.

If you wanna port, then say you wanna port. SaintX says it, Shou says it, and I don't mind, since I already know, and I don't really care.

Don't try to hide porting under OCing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
See, that's the kind of advice I like to get. Tell me what's wrong, give suggestions on how to fix it. Much better than "ZOMG this is stupid/unoriginal/haxxed-out-the-arse!"
Right, right, we have different styles of busting. Honestly, though, some of these problems are not with h4xx but with systemic contradiction in the effects of spells and such, which you should have considered before posting Xiro. Seriously.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Yeah, having Xiro be testing a beamspam machine doesn't make all that much sense now that I think more on it. What I wanted to do by having Nanoha and Xiro know each other through work was to create a kind of "ex-lover" situation here where all the emotion is on Xiro's side and Nanoha, for her part, is clueless. Xiro is essentially the outsider looking in at Fate and Nanoha, wishing he were a part of what they have, but knowing that it can never happen. And this isn't some lame-ass fic where he winds up in a harem with both of them, either. Xiro's gonna have to find someone else to get his romantic fix.
It wasn't supposed to be a bad idea...it's just that you got some of your facts wrong. If only you hadn't said that proviso about Nanoha first, I don't think I would have complained at all...

Romantic Fix Indeed. You little materialistic unromantic pompous arrogant-

*is driven insane by voices in his head giving him random thesaurus words to speak*



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
Well Comar if the stuff you are posting are going to raised some eyebrows, it would be best to think hard and do a couple of self-edits before coming here. Haxxbusters are there to point out if something is off or not easily accepted otherwise, it's not like they are getting paid to haxxbust, nor do any of them seem to particularly enjoy doing so. So save them the trouble and think twice about your own work if you know it's going to cause them to headbang.
Hey, we h4xxbust you for FREE! In society, h4xx-busting comes in the form of a suspension or a sack, man, we're really kind already, now aren't we?

And like I said, we DO give you diaper money to solve your problems later

Quote:
Originally Posted by LimitedEternal View Post
Ironically, if I need advice on whether something might be haxx, I ask...one of the haxxbusters. :3

Better to run it by them before you set it in stone, than to post it and have them start shooting. Hell, my favorite piece of advice, for anyone, is to run a preliminary of any idea past someone else first. That second opinion can make all the difference in the world.
Now THAT is the model for safe OCing. I must admit I myself take a lot of risks in never running anything past people first...but it hasn't caused me major problems yet (except with PF, although you're one to talk about that, Phoenix )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
While you could look at it that way, doesn't that also mean that it is Nanoha, not Xiro, that participated in its testing?
Not...entirely, I would think. Every system has not only ONE field test. With something as scary as that, it would need a lot of different tests, to be honest. If Xiro did one of the intermediate stages, and Nanoha brought it to its final fruition with her insane-ZOMG-beamspam field tests, I wouldn't complain at all.
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:02   Link #82
Wild Goose
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 28
Regarding haxxbusting: I'm available on IRC at various times. Keep popping in there regularly and I'll be around to give a hand.

I'm tempted to go Abare but I'm watching Ozma's awesoem VF-25S and just can't stop giggling with glee at how that thing moves. And the MISSILE BUKAKKE. GLORIOUS MISSILE BUKAKKE.

AND FUCK YES KONIG MONSTER FOR THE ARTILLERY WIN.
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:12   Link #83
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
Regarding haxxbusting: I'm available on IRC at various times. Keep popping in there regularly and I'll be around to give a hand.

I'm tempted to go Abare but I'm watching Ozma's awesoem VF-25S and just can't stop giggling with glee at how that thing moves. And the MISSILE BUKAKKE. GLORIOUS MISSILE BUKAKKE.

AND FUCK YES KONIG MONSTER FOR THE ARTILLERY WIN.
Hello, Abare-tan! *waves*

Bukkake?! Missile bukkake? I am sort of regretting my choice to resist the urge of watching Macross in favor of writing my Chapter by now...DAMN YOU!!!!

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Old 2008-05-20, 08:35   Link #84
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Wait-a-minute. Isn't the Knight's Garb unique to the Wolkies?!

It was bleedin' commissioned by their Meister! A retouch job, actually, but heck that, at least Hayate has very good fashion sense, as can be especially seen in Vita and Shamal's dresses
It's never mention that Knight's Garb is 'exclusive' to the Wolkies, just that the Wolkies are wearing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
For Truth. Quoted for Truth. Although to have Xiro work with her isn't too bad, ya know. That poor heartbroken boy.

Which is why you realize that NOBODY in the Air Forces uses stuff that Nanoha designs, it's frickin' suicidal, and only someone like her would try it

Keroko-chan:
Haa- Haaa-chu!

Keroko-kun: Gezondheid.

Keroko-chan: *sniff* Thanks. Is someone talking about me?

Keroko-kun: *watches Xena fly away* Nope, no-one at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Not...entirely, I would think. Every system has not only ONE field test. With something as scary as that, it would need a lot of different tests, to be honest. If Xiro did one of the intermediate stages, and Nanoha brought it to its final fruition with her insane-ZOMG-beamspam field tests, I wouldn't complain at all.
Well, my main issue with this is that it is hinted that Nanoha tested the thing herself prior to the Cradle incident. Nanoha knew the risks and what she could and could not handle, which suggests she handled it. Knowing her being in the SAFA, the logical conclusion is that she was part of the team that designed it, or at least ingrained in the process (which becomes even more plausible knowing that the system was designed for Raising Heart specifically, I imagine Nanoha would want to be as closely involved with this as possible).

Of course, that doesn't exclude Xiro working on the Blaster system, but not to the point where he worked on the prototype and recommended it to her (why on earth would they go to a Belkan mage to test a prototype Mid weapon intended for a Mid SAFA mage? I'd think they'd go straight to the person the thing is meant for). I would think that he would have worked on it along side her.
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:43   Link #85
Wild Goose
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He could have been a chase pilot, observing Nanoha as she puts the Blaster System through its paces.
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:46   Link #86
Keroko
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*nods* Or her oponent to see how the Blaster Sytem handled in melee combat, those two sound far more likely then testing it before Nanoha even knew of its existence.
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:49   Link #87
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
It's never mention that Knight's Garb is 'exclusive' to the Wolkies, just that the Wolkies are wearing it.
Duly noted. Although it was mostly "Armor", maybe that's what got me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post

Keroko-chan:
Haa- Haaa-chu!

Keroko-kun: Gezondheid.

Keroko-chan: *sniff* Thanks. Is someone talking about me?

Keroko-kun: *watches Xena fly away* Nope, no-one at all.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Well, my main issue with this is that it is hinted that Nanoha tested the thing herself prior to the Cradle incident. Nanoha knew the risks and what she could and could not handle, which suggests she handled it. Knowing her being in the SAFA, the logical conclusion is that she was part of the team that designed it, or at least ingrained in the process (which becomes even more plausible knowing that the system was designed for Raising Heart specifically, I imagine Nanoha would want to be as closely involved with this as possible).

Of course, that doesn't exclude Xiro working on the Blaster system, but not to the point where he worked on the prototype and recommended it to her. I would think that he would have worked on it along side her.
Ah. I see. Thanks for elaborating where I couldn't (I couldn't remember all this stuff off the top of my head )
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Old 2008-05-20, 08:51   Link #88
Comartemis
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Quote:
Better to run it by them before you set it in stone, than to post it and have them start shooting. Hell, my favorite piece of advice, for anyone, is to run a preliminary of any idea past someone else first. That second opinion can make all the difference in the world.
That's what I've been trying to do on IRC these days. Steel Mage? Got it approved as a rare skill. Ice + Water combo? Got it approved. Nerfing Vivio's Saint's Armor? Asked for ideas and I got plenty of them.

Quote:
*blink* Uhm... what? Oh, wait, this is another character that is for private use, isn't it? Because... you know... Nanoha and Fate aren't like that canonically.
If we were to go strictly by canon around here, half the stuff on this board wouldn't exist. And NxF is as good as canon so far as I care.

Quote:
Because that's how the TSAB works, Ghaz.
*Evil smirk*

Thought so.

Quote:
And Shadow attacks? Too much Hollow/Ataraxia for me already, but I'll let that pass me a bit. Just a bit.
....not Hollow/Atraxia.... Kingdom Hearts. Shadows = Nanohaverse Heartless.

Details will be forthcoming.

Quote:
But I MUST admit to you, the Fate/Hollow-Ataraxia refs are getting to me, staved off by my earlier promise.
Hey, I looked for mythic European spears and all I could find was Gae Bolg (too obvious, he's a enough of a Lancer knock-off as it is) or Gungnir, which something like three other people have already used.

Quote:
I wonder what the HELL is the use of his Telekinesis, then, if he can't throw people around.
The problem with throwing people around is that if you can use telekinesis freely on human beings, what's stopping you from getting their heart in a TK grip and crushing it into pulp?

*Uses Force Choke on Xena*

See my point? TK has the potential to be extremely haxxed if done wrong, so I limited it to non-magically protected objects and people.

Quote:
Good Lord, Comart, where are your laws of aerodynamics? Do a lil' science homework before you tell me (or anyone else) that a bulbous shape reduces drag, thank you very much.
The point isn't the shape of the spell, it's the magic involved. The bubble is essentially diverting all the air around Xiro before it makes contact with him and creates drag.

Quote:
Doesn't everybody have to do that?
I don't recall Chrono having to maintain his focus on the Lieze twins in A's; he just cast it and BAM! Instant Shibari. Xiro on the other hand has to maintain a constant focus to keep his target immobilized, and by "constant focus" I mean "has to stand still with hand outstretched, rune still formed, and no other spells being cast".

Quote:
Oh, Aurion! Someone loves your skill so much he copped it.
Oi, Sky Waltz came from Zero way back when, not from someone else's OC!

Quote:
Wait-a-minute. Isn't the Knight's Garb unique to the Wolkies?!
Their designs, yes, but the general concept of sacrificing armor for speed? I doubt it.

Quote:
Xiro: Pika-Pikaaaaaaaa-

-CHUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
I knew someone was going to spot that, just knew it.

Quote:
WTFreaking hell?!

Since when was a buzzsaw a SICKLE?!
In my defense I was running out of cool wind-based names to give to my spells.

Quote:
And you say his Telekinesis is so weak that it is able to control six such huge roils of energy...but not penetrate a autoguard or a BJ.
Not weak, it's just that magical defenses screw up his control and make it really hard to use TK on them directly.

Xena, were you present for the dehaxxing of Iris's reality marble, Winter Wasteland? I specifically limited that spell to ensure that she couldn't form her ice attacks inside and/or through her enemy, thus negating the possibility of instant unavoidable kills. Same logic applies here.

Quote:
If you wanna port, then say you wanna port. SaintX says it, Shou says it, and I don't mind, since I already know, and I don't really care.

Don't try to hide porting under OCing.
Alright, if Xiro really rubs everyone the wrong way so much I'll take him back to the drawing board and turn him into a swordsman or something.
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Old 2008-05-20, 09:11   Link #89
Wild Goose
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Right now? I just don't care, plain and simple.

Hmmm. I suppose I better finish the final mission of OG2.
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Old 2008-05-20, 09:19   Link #90
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
If we were to go strictly by canon around here, half the stuff on this board wouldn't exist. And NxF is as good as canon so far as I care.
Not to start a ship war or anything, but the latest official relationship charts labeles them -and I quote- "Best Friends" with the line connecting to Hayate too.

Of course, that shouldn't affect your own fics, but since the OC-thread tries to stay as true to canon as we can, if you want to use Xiro here then that little point should really change if we don't want to contradict one another.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
....not Hollow/Atraxia.... Kingdom Hearts. Shadows = Nanohaverse Heartless.

Details will be forthcoming.
.... Kingdom Hearts. *shudders*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Hey, I looked for mythic European spears and all I could find was Gae Bolg (too obvious, he's a enough of a Lancer knock-off as it is) or Gungnir, which something like three other people have already used.
Try Luin, the Spear of Lugh. One of the four treasures of Ireland, fabled for being insanely hot and having the properties elemental attacks.

Or the Spear of Assal, when thrown in battle, uttering the word 'Ibal' would always make it hit its target, and it returned to the thrower on uttering the word 'Athibar'.

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The problem with throwing people around is that if you can use telekinesis freely on human beings, what's stopping you from getting their heart in a TK grip and crushing it into pulp?
That's easy, simply saying 'Telekinetics only affect the outside of what you're grabbing' will do. Its like grabbing a person with your hands, you can't grab their hearts directly.

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The point isn't the shape of the spell, it's the magic involved. The bubble is essentially diverting all the air around Xiro before it makes contact with him and creates drag.
... Isn't that what mages always do when flying?



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Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
I don't recall Chrono having to maintain his focus on the Lieze twins in A's; he just cast it and BAM! Instant Shibari. Xiro on the other hand has to maintain a constant focus to keep his target immobilized, and by "constant focus" I mean "has to stand still with hand outstretched, rune still formed, and no other spells being cast".
Hmm, well a certain amount of concentration has to be maintained while casting the spell, but not of the level you described.

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Alright, if Xiro really rubs everyone the wrong way so much I'll take him back to the drawing board and turn him into a swordsman or something.
That's not needed on my account, I merely want to balance some inacuracies. I don't care if charactes are ported over and piled with references, as long as they're well done. The others who have a problem with it most likely just want a 'Yes, I ported Lancer into Nanohaverse'.
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Old 2008-05-20, 09:36   Link #91
Comartemis
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Not to start a ship war or anything, but the latest official relationship charts labeles them -and I quote- "Best Friends" with the line connecting to Hayate too.
The power of subtext cannot be denied by a mere relationship chart!

Quote:
... Isn't that what mages always do when flying?
*Notes pic*

...alas, I am defeated. Looks like Xiro's no better than any other Air Mage all of a sudden. Oh well, got another idea I want to run by you guys in a while anyways, this one involving my long-delayed Steel Mage concept. I'll be on IRC in an hour or so to play around with this concept as per LE's advice.
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Old 2008-05-20, 09:43   Link #92
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The power of subtext cannot be denied by a mere relationship chart!
Sugestive scenes are subject to interpretation. A relationship chart is not. Despair, ye NanoFaters, for Yuuno is still in the race! :3

Besides, you want subtext? I'll give you subtext!

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*Notes pic*

...alas, I am defeated. Looks like Xiro's no better than any other Air Mage all of a sudden. Oh well, got another idea I want to run by you guys in a while anyways, this one involving my long-delayed Steel Mage concept. I'll be on IRC in an hour or so to play around with this concept as per LE's advice.
Bleh, just post the idea here, I don't do IRC.
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Old 2008-05-20, 09:58   Link #93
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The power of subtext cannot be denied by a mere relationship chart!


*Notes pic*

...alas, I am defeated. Looks like Xiro's no better than any other Air Mage all of a sudden. Oh well, got another idea I want to run by you guys in a while anyways, this one involving my long-delayed Steel Mage concept. I'll be on IRC in an hour or so to play around with this concept as per LE's advice.
Got a hundred different things to do so this will be short.

Nothing's wrong with a so-called normal mage, unless you really think it's a great fault for being normal. Not the best person to say this but power alone doesn't make a good character.

Frankly speaking, rather than the character rubbing people the wrong way it's how you have a penchant for creating powerful characters right off the bat and not being really balanced out that's rubbing people the wrong way.

Speaking for myself, I don't really have issues with powerful or h4xx chars. I'm not one to h4xxbust much or point out things correctly so I mostly abstain from such and leave it until the actual story which the character themselves show up and interact to make a judgment. Which only happens when something is written after all that is said and done. Sadly a common failing which I'm guilty of too.


And w/e to the almighty power of subtext.
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Old 2008-05-20, 10:05   Link #94
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I think it has less to do with Cort's characters (really, most characters that come here go through a balancing routine) but more that the H4XXbusters have become.... really blunt. It's no longer a gentle 'you should take a better look at this' but more a 'H4XX! Change!' command.

I myself try to be as polite and helpfull as possible, first by not swearing, second by not assuming the poster needs to have the info rammed through his/her throat. Stating ways that would fix the problem helps too.
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Old 2008-05-20, 10:33   Link #95
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I think it has less to do with Cort's characters (really, most characters that come here go through a balancing routine) but more that the H4XXbusters have become.... really blunt. It's no longer a gentle 'you should take a better look at this' but more a 'H4XX! Change!' command.

I myself try to be as polite and helpfull as possible, first by not swearing, second by not assuming the poster needs to have the info rammed through his/her throat. Stating ways that would fix the problem helps too.
I thought the h4xxbusters were always blunt, actually...perhaps I was gravely mistaken.

And speaking of which, I suddenly feel so hit-in-the-face for ramming info down someone's throat.



Oh well, maybe I should go back to being polite after all, rather than bring my debater's snark into the OC thread...
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Old 2008-05-20, 10:46   Link #96
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h4xxbuster was a term first given to Aaron, actually, and it was given to him because he was able to spot overpowered bits in a profile, point them out and help people fix them, all the while remaining polite while doing so.

h4xxbusters only became blunt later on, and the term was garbled since then. True h4xxbusters don't yell about h4xx. They fix them.
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Old 2008-05-20, 10:55   Link #97
Comartemis
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Alright Kero, just for you I'll post this thing here instead of on IRC.

The first thing you need to know is that Vivio has acquired a few political enemies by virtue of being a clone of the Kaiser. Someone in High Command is worried that Vivio could gain immense political support from the followers of the Saint Church if her lineage were revealed, so they decide to do something about it.

Vivio (now a 12-year old air mage like Nanoha) and her unit are assigned to a milk run patrol of a planet on the outer rim of the TSAB's influence, Radiant Garden, without being given necessary intel regarding a large nest of Shadows that have cropped up on that planet.

A word on Shadows: these are essentially bio-magical zombies created as a disposable army by the Forerunners. They got loose and had to be sealed off in a pocket dimension, but Precia Testarossa's attempt at reaching Al Hazard managed to tear open a hole in the seal, and they've slowly been spreading across the outer reaches of the bureau's sphere of influence ever since. They spread by consuming the spiritual energy of living creatures, and the void that remains when a spirit is completely consumed reanimates the otherwise lifeless body as a basic Shadow, while in the process mutating and warping the physical shell into an inhuman form.

The Shadows of Radiant Garden are led by a Commander unit, a Shadow that has existed long enough to regain control of its' higher mental functions; where most shadows are basically predators with only basic instincts, Commander units are essentially mutated humans who have control over similar types of shadows, as well as some rather impressive magical powers. Each of the 13 commander units (who are about on par with S-rank mages) is based on the members of Organization XIII from Kingdom Hearts II. The unit in charge of the Shadows on Radiant Garden is based on Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer. For their part, the bureau has no idea that Zexion is present on Radiant Garden, or even that Commander units exist.

Zexion's forces get the drop on Vivio's unit and wipe out most of her squad. Zexion, however, takes a special interest in Vivio; he had a hand in Jail Scaglietti's rise to power, and decides to see what kind of Shadow Vivio would make. Before he gets a chance to do this, however, Vivio makes a blind tempspace jump, trusting in the Saint's Armor to protect her from the void of dimension space. Miraculously, it works... but her jump lands her on Arcadia, the center of the multiverse's criminal underworld.

It doesn't take long for Vivio's attempts to get home to attract the attention of the local crime lords, one of whom sends his top assassin to take care of Vivio.... which is where Iris enters the picture.

Iris is basically an Expy of Archerko; her abilities as a Steel Mage ring strongly of Archer's tracing abilities, but her personality is a mixture of the heroic sociopath and the blood knight. Details on her past are sketchy at the moment, but count on something along the lines of "raised by the mob to be the perfect killer".

Iris goes after Vivio and gets Befriended because she can't hurt Vivio and she doesn't like to use "dirty tricks" like binds, poison gas, and other stuff that would put Vivio down for the count. Her boss doesn't like the fact that Iris gets all chummy with her target, and much of the initial story consists of Iris and Vivio running from the mob while trying to get home... only to discover that Zexion and friends have been rather busy in their absence when they get back to Mid-Childa.

Iris's spell loadout is rather limited at present time because I haven't yet put too much thought into her combat style. Obviously she's highly skilled in melee, but the only spell I have listed for her so far is a physical-type Bombardment spell which is basically a focused version of Gate of Babylon. This would be her high-end max-power Unlimited Blade Works equivalent, not something she uses on a regular basis.
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Old 2008-05-20, 11:04   Link #98
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Try Luin, the Spear of Lugh. One of the four treasures of Ireland, fabled for being insanely hot and having the properties elemental attacks.

Or the Spear of Assal, when thrown in battle, uttering the word 'Ibal' would always make it hit its target, and it returned to the thrower on uttering the word 'Athibar'.
I read it! In Slaine comic books!

Spoiler for Slaine with the mentionned spear:
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Old 2008-05-20, 11:05   Link #99
XenahortCharybdis
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Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
h4xxbuster was a term first given to Aaron, actually, and it was given to him because he was able to spot overpowered bits in a profile, point them out and help people fix them, all the while remaining polite while doing so.

h4xxbusters only became blunt later on, and the term was garbled since then. True h4xxbusters don't yell about h4xx. They fix them.
*Cadian History Trivia Absorbed for Later Use*

Alright. I'll go old skool then, in honor of Spirly-tan (you know, @@ron008R )

It's back to the normal me for me
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Old 2008-05-20, 11:07   Link #100
PhoenixFlare
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Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
I think it has less to do with Cort's characters (really, most characters that come here go through a balancing routine) but more that the H4XXbusters have become.... really blunt. It's no longer a gentle 'you should take a better look at this' but more a 'H4XX! Change!' command.
Quite true, but seeing as he has so far given enough headaches to a number of person, I guess they're quick to judge the character by the merit of the author and not by the character itself, hence the bluntness. Well, you can say that he does give me headaches at first, but I think he's already improving a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
h4xxbusters only became blunt later on, and the term was garbled since then. True h4xxbusters don't yell about h4xx. They fix them.
Quoted for truth!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Hey, I looked for mythic European spears and all I could find was Gae Bolg (too obvious, he's a enough of a Lancer knock-off as it is) or Gungnir, which something like three other people have already used.
Here you go.

Spoiler for Mythical spears/polearms:


Now, I think Longinus would be a nice and cool name, don't you think?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
The problem with throwing people around is that if you can use telekinesis freely on human beings, what's stopping you from getting their heart in a TK grip and crushing it into pulp?

*Uses Force Choke on Xena*

See my point? TK has the potential to be extremely haxxed if done wrong, so I limited it to non-magically protected objects and people.
I see you have been studying this from various angles. Good job!

*thumbs up*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
The point isn't the shape of the spell, it's the magic involved. The bubble is essentially diverting all the air around Xiro before it makes contact with him and creates drag.
I think the shape you're looking for would be an aerofoil. Not sure if they are other shapes that reduce drag. Bernoulli's principles, Kutta condition, and Kutta-Joukowski theorem will help a lot in understanding.

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Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
In my defense I was running out of cool wind-based names to give to my spells.
Try Revolutions of Doom. Or Cyclonic Ripper. Or Whirling Dervish.

... If they don't suit, find more yourself.

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Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Xena, were you present for the dehaxxing of Iris's reality marble, Winter Wasteland? I specifically limited that spell to ensure that she couldn't form her ice attacks inside and/or through her enemy, thus negating the possibility of instant unavoidable kills. Same logic applies here.
I was there, so I vividly remember you did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Alright, if Xiro really rubs everyone the wrong way so much I'll take him back to the drawing board and turn him into a swordsman or something.
Nope, he doesn't rub me as wrong as Zero was in your first attempt. I think this is going to be passable, just work out the kinks.
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