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Old 2008-06-05, 18:24   Link #10021
Kaisos Erranon
Homo Ludens
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrowKenobi View Post
Hey Kaisos! Tell me if this looks familiar:

The Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya



At least the reviewers know the score!

10,000 posts! Who da thunk it!

EDIT: 3 months = 10,000 posts!
What an asshat.
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Old 2008-06-05, 18:55   Link #10022
Kang Seung Jae
神聖カルル帝国の 皇帝
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Korea
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
What an asshat.
Such is life.
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Old 2008-06-05, 19:43   Link #10023
Discreet
The Fascist
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Volume 1 Chapter 7 part 2, made a lot of changes.

After a fight like that, I think that there are definitely still some things that need to be changed in order to get the perfect balance of the immediate mood, later implications and character-interaction consistency.

Spoiler:
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Old 2008-06-05, 19:46   Link #10024
shaoron
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Join Date: Jul 2007
quick edit and here's chapter 5! WOOOOT!!!!

Spoiler for chpt 5: something about getting stabbed...:



hides
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Old 2008-06-05, 19:53   Link #10025
Kaisos Erranon
Homo Ludens
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
Volume 1 Chapter 7 part 2, made a lot of changes.

After a fight like that, I think that there are definitely still some things that need to be changed in order to get the perfect balance of the immediate mood, later implications and character-interaction consistency.

Spoiler:
Wouldn't you think that she'd be a little concerned about what he might do to the universe after that fight, given that she knows his power?

Also, having Haruki scare her that much is a bad idea, I think.
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Old 2008-06-05, 20:11   Link #10026
Discreet
The Fascist
 
 
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My immediate solution to both those problems would be to change pretty much every major edit and keep it closer to the original.

However, I know that won't go.

Honestly, on your first point, I was thinking the exact same thing while I was reading your edit and Bliss's. From the way it was written, as if Kyonko was finally letting out all her anger and frustration at once, it didn't seem appropriate for it to be weak-hearted shouting match. And I even think that Kyonko summing up the situation like Kyon did doesn't go very well with the fact that they had such a huge fight. So to cut it short, what I'm trying to say is that if they're going to have a fight, I think it should be a full-blown fight or not have one at all.

If you're referring to my last edit concerning the subtlety of the situation, it's still kind of the same idea. If you want Kyonko to regret having fought with Haruki like that that I don't think it should be a side thought like it was in the original edit but full-out lamentation. Not-at-all or all-the-way.

As for Haruki's anger, it seemed like the only appropriate response from him after such humiliation. The original edit seemed like he kinda gave up too easy, bent backwards for Kyonko in contradiction to his personality. And I was very hesitant in making Haruki a physically intimidating person, but I thought that I didn't do it too much...

Guess not.

But I still think it's important to show an extremely angry response from Haruki after that moment.
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Old 2008-06-05, 20:55   Link #10027
Fumeiryou
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@shaoron: Never thought I'd get rickroll'd in text format... LOL. And yes, surprisingly, I know half the lyrics to that song... really, what does that say about my browsing habits?
Spoiler for ...:

We seem to have returned to some form of a topic now.

Why don't we cram everything in there at once? Then everybody's happy!!

We've always tried it before, but... here I know that won't work.
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Old 2008-06-05, 20:58   Link #10028
Kaisos Erranon
Homo Ludens
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
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Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
My immediate solution to both those problems would be to change pretty much every major edit and keep it closer to the original.

However, I know that won't go.

Honestly, on your first point, I was thinking the exact same thing while I was reading your edit and Bliss's. From the way it was written, as if Kyonko was finally letting out all her anger and frustration at once, it didn't seem appropriate for it to be weak-hearted shouting match. And I even think that Kyonko summing up the situation like Kyon did doesn't go very well with the fact that they had such a huge fight. So to cut it short, what I'm trying to say is that if they're going to have a fight, I think it should be a full-blown fight or not have one at all.

If you're referring to my last edit concerning the subtlety of the situation, it's still kind of the same idea. If you want Kyonko to regret having fought with Haruki like that that I don't think it should be a side thought like it was in the original edit but full-out lamentation. Not-at-all or all-the-way.

As for Haruki's anger, it seemed like the only appropriate response from him after such humiliation. The original edit seemed like he kinda gave up too easy, bent backwards for Kyonko in contradiction to his personality. And I was very hesitant in making Haruki a physically intimidating person, but I thought that I didn't do it too much...

Guess not.

But I still think it's important to show an extremely angry response from Haruki after that moment.
Right then, I'll use your edit.
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Old 2008-06-05, 21:26   Link #10029
shaoron
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Spoiler for Disappearance Chapter 5: The death of Kyonko/Jane Smith (no rick-roll this time):
__________________
I am never gonna say good bye,
never run around is my body, never desert you is my blood
unknown to telling lies, nor known to hurting you
have rolled the rick over nine thousand times
yet never gonna give you up
so as I sing, UNLIMITED RICKROLL WORKS
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Old 2008-06-05, 21:59   Link #10030
Cat Megex
Seitenkan no Greeter
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaoron View Post
While I could still understand the adult Asahina-san holding me in his arms and crying,
You forgot to genderswap a pronoun. (Note: I skipped ahead to that part of the chapter, and that was the only error that caught my eye, so this is only a proof for that one bit of sentence.)
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Old 2008-06-06, 00:26   Link #10031
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaoron View Post
quick edit and here's chapter 5! WOOOOT!!!!

Spoiler for chpt 5: something about getting stabbed...:
hides
-_- ... Right now, I have no respect for you whatsoever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaoron View Post
Spoiler for Disappearance Chapter 5: The death of Kyonko/Jane Smith (no rick-roll this time):
Given that Asakura actally gets to stab Kyon this time, we might want to change to a knife for this chapter. Stab someone with a katana, and I imagine you practically disembowel them in one go; they're rather large.
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Old 2008-06-06, 00:44   Link #10032
besieger
Fabulous Shadowy Advisor
 
 
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A shoto will do, I guess. And Asakura doesn't have to stab it in completely, like a glance will do too.
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Old 2008-06-06, 00:46   Link #10033
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
Honestly, on your first point, I was thinking the exact same thing while I was reading your edit and Bliss's.
*snicker* I almost missed this ... So I'm "Bliss" now? ^^ Oh, well; I have definitely been called worse things in my life. Carry on.
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Old 2008-06-06, 01:29   Link #10034
Kagedanji
Doughy goodness. I think.
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Another good reason why we should've went with ninja-tou.
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Old 2008-06-06, 01:49   Link #10035
Kaisos Erranon
Homo Ludens
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Actually, I had planned to him to actually stab her with the katana, and disembowelment would indeed ensue.

It's not like Yuuki can't heal her, in any case... >_>
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Old 2008-06-06, 01:52   Link #10036
Kang Seung Jae
神聖カルル帝国の 皇帝
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
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Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Actually, I had planned to him to actually stab her with the katana, and disembowelment would indeed ensue.

It's not like Yuuki can't heal her, in any case... >_>
O_O


HOW COULD YOU!
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Old 2008-06-06, 02:03   Link #10037
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Actually, I had planned to him to actually stab her with the katana, and disembowelment would indeed ensue.

It's not like Yuuki can't heal her, in any case... >_>
That sort of thing would send her into instant shock though, wouldn't it? Better to have a smaller wound.
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Old 2008-06-06, 02:33   Link #10038
Don't press enter
Seriously. Don't.
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Above 'Don't press shift'
The week in summary:

Right. Here we go:

May 30th:
- Further discussion on Alt. Yuuki
- T-Shirts and Hoods requested
- This quote [insert] sparks theological debate
- Vol. 4 Ch. 1 Pt. 3 edited (by Aebliss)
- Vol. 1 Ch. 2 Pt. 2 edited (by Molenir)
- -ism logos edited (by Kagedanji)
- A brief explanation of this project to Ultima Rasengan05
May 31st:
- Discussion on animation and copyrights
- Boredom Pt 7 written (by Kogetsu)
- Kang scans for Kyonko Doujinshis
- Sneak peek into Vol. 4 Ch. 2 Pt 1. (by Shaoron)
- Forceflow steals Cat Megex’s greeting
- Discussion on Alt. Yuuki asking Kyonko (or is it Kyonko asking Alt. Yuuki?)
- Everyone trying to tap into their inner fangirl to find the most erm… Fangirly reaction for Alt. Yuuki to have… um.
- Discussion on headbands/hair bands/headphones
June 1st:
- Discussion on headbands/hair bands/headphones
- Another Dango joins us… help
June 2nd:
- Discussion on Shamisen… wait a sec…
- I make the most STUPID suggestion ever… summarize the whole thread… really…
- Disappearance Ch. 2 Pt. 1 written (by Shaoron)
- Discussion on Kyonko’s breast size
- I, unfortunately, start contemplating my stupid suggestion…
- …and is given a mammoth new project. Summarize the entire thread. Thanks guys!
- Disappearance Ch. 2 Pt. 2 written (by Shaoron)
- Discussion on changing clothes
June 3rd:
- Discussion on changing clothes
- Discussion on Kyonko’s breast size
- Discussion on whether Haruki would do a choke hold
- Discussion on how to insult Taniguchi
- Discussion on what classifies as melonpan
- Discussion on Shamisen
- Disappearance Ch. 3 Pt. 1 written (by Shaoron)
- Disappearance Ch. 3 Pt. 2 written (by Shaoron)
June 4th:
- Vol. 1 Ch. 7 Pt. 2 written (by Kaisos)
- Vol. 1 Ch. 7 Pt. 2 edited (by Aebliss)
- Disappearance Ch. 2 Pt. 1 edited (by Aebliss)
- Disappearance Ch. 2 Pt. 2 edited (by Aebliss)
- Disappearance Ch. 3 Pt. 1 edited (by Aebliss)
- Disappearance Ch. 3 Pt. 2 edited (by Aebliss)
- Vol. 2 Ch. 1 Pt. 1 written (by Redlar)
- A nostalgic summary of the first 150 posts
June 5th:
- Discussion on replacement for ponytail moe
- Vol. 1 Ch. 7 Pt 3 written (by Aebliss)
- And the plot of the thread lost me about here
- 2nd 150 posts summarized
- Disappearance Ch. 3 written (by Shaoron)
- Replacement of John Smith discussed
- 10,000th post

Did I mention how refreshing a weekly is after summarizing the first 300 posts of the thread?
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Last edited by Don't press enter; 2008-06-13 at 05:44.
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Old 2008-06-06, 02:50   Link #10039
Kaisos Erranon
Homo Ludens
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Oooh! I have an idea for a replacement name for "John Smith"... how about "Mary Sue"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae View Post
O_O


HOW COULD YOU!
Mostly to keep Asakura's weapon the same and to get a reaction out of BM, who's hiding in the bushes.

It's not like he's going to be effective against, you know, an alien, but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aebliss View Post
That sort of thing would send her into instant shock though, wouldn't it? Better to have a smaller wound.
I really think just being stabbed would send you into instant shock...

Kyon quickly went unconscious at that point in the original anyway.
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Old 2008-06-06, 03:43   Link #10040
shaoron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Oooh! I have an idea for a replacement name for "John Smith"... how about "Mary Sue"?


given that this is Mary Sue...

NO!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Aebliss View Post
-_- ... Right now, I have no respect for you whatsoever.
hey! i actually posted the real thing a few post later!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Aebliss View Post
Given that Asakura actally gets to stab Kyon this time, we might want to change to a knife for this chapter. Stab someone with a katana, and I imagine you practically disembowel them in one go; they're rather large.
yay.. we're back to the same topic again....
NO!
Asakura wanted to make Kyonko feel pain before actually killing her. A light stab is all that's needed. no need to change the weapon. remember, he slowly pulled the blade out.. so no major disembowelment...

besides.. Asakura is obviously compensating for something...
__________________
I am never gonna say good bye,
never run around is my body, never desert you is my blood
unknown to telling lies, nor known to hurting you
have rolled the rick over nine thousand times
yet never gonna give you up
so as I sing, UNLIMITED RICKROLL WORKS
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