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Old 2008-06-05, 09:49   Link #841
Comartemis
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Quote:
When I read this, the first thing that came to my mind was 'Superior tactics? Against Chrono?'

I know you have somewhat of a... low respect for most of the male members of the cast, but during A's Chrono is the biggest tactical mind our heroes have, barring Lindy.
....You're referring to the A's manga, aren't you? Forgot about that.

Alright, so Alex is initially strong enough to put up a good fight instead of getting his ass handed to him and he fights Chrono to a draw prior to the final battle.

Quote:
Though its strange... you say you're going to axe Regius and his doings, yet you also say you're going to prominently feature Zest and Lutecia, even though these two hold very strong connections to Regius and his doings, particularely Zest.
Regius isn't getting completely excluded from the fun, but his "blah blah blah I'm going to make life as difficult as possible for those meddling kids" routine isn't going to even get off the ground. Unless he finds a way to directly steer them into a trap like he did with Zest's group.
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Old 2008-06-05, 09:55   Link #842
LimitedEternal
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*me slowly and groggily lurches in*

sigh...Boy, did I ever have a fun night last night...massive storm, the power went out, and I got about 4 hours of sleep all told...

I'll do a breaker later...looks like there's plenty to go through. Including belated happy birthday to Hayate-chan. *tosses Hayate a watermelon*

Looks like it's okay here, though. *yawns* Later...
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:01   Link #843
Keroko
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Originally Posted by haiz123321 View Post
Oh, profile link pls XD
Actually by new terms i was talking about sth like Bluecheesium/Ion Canon XD Speaking of it, did it claim any victims lately?
Well, Comar has been playing Living Target for her for a while... Actually, he still does.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
....You're referring to the A's manga, aren't you? Forgot about that.

Alright, so Alex is initially strong enough to put up a good fight instead of getting his ass handed to him and he fights Chrono to a draw prior to the final battle.
Scratch one problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Regius isn't getting completely excluded from the fun, but his "blah blah blah I'm going to make life as difficult as possible for those meddling kids" routine isn't going to even get off the ground. Unless he finds a way to directly steer them into a trap like he did with Zest's group.
He did very little of the sort anyway, barring some grumbling about him not liking Hayate and an investigation into her squad (which, you have to admit, was rather odd).
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:01   Link #844
XenahortCharybdis
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Just in...

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Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Woot! Acous apears! That certainly was a welcome surprise, we don't get to see much of Acous around here (I really wish StrikerS had done more with him).
Me too, and so I've given him a very deep role. He's even gonna try his hand doing a lot of things that his kind of person would and wouldn't do, which includes matchmaking (would), and giving someone a rehab-job (wouldn't). Also, he's one of the few cast members who'd be able to be in contact with, and still bear with someone like Ashcroft, so it works. They're both friends, superior-junior, and adversaries all at the same time

Wait till the unexpected third party in their little platonic pair comes along and things will get interesting...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
And the Greek... Negima influence? (<-- Chao fan)
I was reminded of it upon re-reading my own chapter, but originally...no.

It's in keeping with another motif in my fic, though, which I'll keep secret for now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Seconded, I rather like the change from generic magical girl series to something more original
Thirded, Keroko, definitely Thirded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Like how Reinforce has Reinforce Zwei, we have Cadia Zwei. And like Rein, she's small and adorable.
Aye, definitely Aye

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
When I read this, the first thing that came to my mind was 'Superior tactics? Against Chrono?'
It's possible. It's very possible. There's an old Mandarin saying for it, that "There's always a higher mountain."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
I know you have somewhat of a... low respect for most of the male members of the cast, but during A's Chrono is the biggest tactical mind our heroes have, barring Lindy.
He's got you there, Comartermis

Though I would not at all consider A's a very good example of battle tactics, and more like a whole chain reaction of ambushes, plus a lucky case of pitting people whom 'you can read easily against you'...Chrono is just that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
That said, simply luring him into a field of advantage should not make Chrono get beaten within an inch of his life. As smart as he is, he would realize his disadvantage in melee and simply retreat. Remember: Chrono was able to defeat Fate, a melee specialist. And by the looks of it without excessive trouble too. Even though that was prior to Bardiche's upgrade, it shows that Chrono is no slouch when it comes to melee combat.
Aye, aye, Admiral

That's why I'm having a hard time with him right now as we speak...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Heh. You might want to rephrase the License to Kill part. You make it sound as if the cast is going to butcher and blow up anything in their path.
I thought it would be more of "Bond, James Bond. Shaken, not stirred ,but definitely here to swagger, snag a woman or two, and save the world in the name of the Queen of England while I'm at it."



*FFFFFLLLEEEEZZZZZ t3h wrath of Ian Fleming!!!!!*


Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
Translation Keroko: Comar hasn't fully finished thinking things out. As opposed to say a military otaku like me, where my crack is tactically sound and makes sense.
Albeit too infused with the element of manga that where used too much is nothing but the worst waste of screen time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
1) Franz vs Subaru & Teana ended in him beating both, though Subaru broke Magnum in the process, and he won vs Tea due to being able to move faster than her, which basically meant that she fired Barrtt F at him, he tossed flares and bumrushed her and body-checked her into the ground. Franz vs Subaru was filled with lots more Hot blood however.

2) Emili vs Signum. Wasn't pretty.

3) Franz vs Nanoha rematch called off due to events of PT is Lotsa Fun.

4) Franz vs Vita. In which Franz broke Cortana on Graf Eisen, but he managed to take Vita out despite Eisen managing to defend more or less sucessfully against Giga Drill Breaker. In the wake of this, Vita begins work on a new spell.

Oh, and since she was completely broken, Cortana insisted on being transferred to Chief's armor and refused to have anything to do with Franz anymore.

5) The Final Battle. One Big Massive Brawl. Ending in four words: "JET MAGNUM!" "Starlight Breaker."[/i]

6) Franz/Naomi waffbonding.

7) [Franz has pwned Vita. Franz has mastered Shooting Juice Up Nose. Franz is now the Vita Master.]

8) "I've had worse. But not by much," said Ivanovich, grimacing at the taste of Shamal's health drink. Chief merely looked at him.
INSANITY!

*and I think I've claimed purple as my scream color by now *

I'm currently indexing my OCs for ghaz to put them up...so I won't write for a while. But since I've been ordered by FA to write fasta, I shall have to.

*shrugs*

Xena, out.
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:07   Link #845
Comartemis
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You know what, I just realized that I never got around to posting Zero's final draft after we finished dehaxxing him.

*Runs off to fix this*
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:27   Link #846
Comartemis
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Spoiler for Background Information: Albert W. Wily:

Name: Zero
Alias: None
Gender: Male
Species: Artificial Human/Cyborg, Type-00A model
Age: 15
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 210 lbs
Skin: Pale
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Device: None
Magic System: Ancient Belka
Ranking: AA
Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good

Theme Songs:
“Vestige”, T.M. Revolution
“Reason”, Tamaki Nami
“Reclaimer”, Martin O’Donnell

Spoiler for Character History:


Spoiler for Character Description:


Spoiler for Character Abilities and Spell Information:


Spoiler for Spell List:

....you know, I just realized how pathetically short Zero's spell list is, even for someone with a spotty magical education.
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:30   Link #847
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Me too, and so I've given him a very deep role. He's even gonna try his hand doing a lot of things that his kind of person would and wouldn't do, which includes matchmaking (would), and giving someone a rehab-job (wouldn't). Also, he's one of the few cast members who'd be able to be in contact with, and still bear with someone like Ashcroft, so it works. They're both friends, superior-junior, and adversaries all at the same time

Wait till the unexpected third party in their little platonic pair comes along and things will get interesting...
Oh do tell.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
I was reminded of it upon re-reading my own chapter, but originally...no.

It's in keeping with another motif in my fic, though, which I'll keep secret for now.
Oh? Well, it looks great anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
It's possible. It's very possible. There's an old Mandarin saying for it, that "There's always a higher mountain."
That logic is opening the floodgates for SSS mages...

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Though I would not at all consider A's a very good example of battle tactics, and more like a whole chain reaction of ambushes, plus a lucky case of pitting people whom 'you can read easily against you'...Chrono is just that.
A whole chain reaction of ambushes sounds like an excellent battle tactic to me.

Edit: Sneaky Comar post is sneaky.
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:33   Link #848
Wild Goose
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Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
I'm well aware that Comar hasn't finished thinking things out, and what he has is little more then a rough draft. That's why I'm helping his straighten things out before he starts writing, rather then afterwards. I believe we did the oposite once, and Dkellis wasn't exactly happy about it.
True that, forgot entire about that.

Quote:
And hospitalized.
But of course he's hospitalised! He used up most of his luck and almost all of his badass to pull off a one in a trillion shot with his MA5C; you don't make an awesome shot like the one Franz did without paying something for it. Which is why though he can become the Vita Master, he'll be paying for it.

Incidentally he used the Health Drinks to pwn Vita at first, then juice when he ran out of Health Drinks.

Quote:
Shamal's health drinks arent the one you need to worry about...
This is just the opener Plenty more to come.
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:37   Link #849
Kha
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@Goose: Caro's health drinks pack far more punch than 1000 of Shamal's...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
And the Greek... Negima influence? (<-- Chao fan)
That would be Latin IIRC.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Seconded, I rather like the change from generic magical girl series to something more original


Certainly gave me loads of reasons for Inquisition action, but a part of me still wants Cthulu, so...

*looks at Infernal Affairs plot flanked with doomsday villains*

...Iya, Iya.

It's just writing style really. Too bad if you don't appreciate it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Like how Reinforce has Reinforce Zwei, we have Cadia Zwei. And like Rein, she's small and adorable.
Yes. I noticed. Now get her off of me. -_-
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Old 2008-06-05, 10:47   Link #850
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
But of course he's hospitalised! He used up most of his luck and almost all of his badass to pull off a one in a trillion shot with his MA5C; you don't make an awesome shot like the one Franz did without paying something for it. Which is why though he can become the Vita Master, he'll be paying for it.

Incidentally he used the Health Drinks to pwn Vita at first, then juice when he ran out of Health Drinks.
Vita master... a title that chains you to the desk filling reports for months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
This is just the opener Plenty more to come.
I fear the day he tries one of Caro's >_<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
That would be Latin IIRC.
No, Chao definetely uses Greek. Negi uses Latin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post


Certainly gave me loads of reasons for Inquisition action, but a part of me still wants Cthulu, so...

*looks at Infernal Affairs plot flanked with doomsday villains*

...Iya, Iya.

It's just writing style really. Too bad if you don't appreciate it.
Oh, I can apreciate it. I just like a touch of military better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
Yes. I noticed. Now get her off of me. -_-
Aaaw, but she just wants to show she loves you.

Kha:
*death glare*

Oh, allright. But she's such a good girl aren't you Cadia-chan? *pets Cadia's head*

Cadia Zwei:
Wai! Cadia is a good girl! *glomps Keroko-kun*
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Old 2008-06-05, 11:03   Link #851
Sheba
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If by military you meant crazy shit like Cameron, Alamo or even Stamford Bridge, I'll gladly take it over doomday villains any day.
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Old 2008-06-05, 11:24   Link #852
Jimmy C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by comartemis View Post
Regius isn't getting completely excluded from the fun, Unless he finds a way to directly steer them into a trap like he did with Zest's group.
Please watch ep24 again. he didn't steer them into a trap. He was trying to steer them away from it. The only way Regius' actions can be considered steering Zest's group into a trap is if he actually anticipated Zest's preemptive raid on the facility after telling him off and actually wanted him to do it.
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Old 2008-06-05, 11:40   Link #853
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
Oh lawd LOL XD



........................*facepalms*

Oh lawd LOL XD
See? Now you know why Fate facepalmed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Oh ma dear lawd... I think I broke something from laughing too damn hard.
All goes according to the scenario

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Ack-hem.

I'm back. Sort of, again. And with something new, too...So without further ado, I would like to present to all present:

The ZENITH Project
~Act One, Scene One~


So much...bluecheesium . A very good read, sir. Looking forward to more, especially from that girl in the opening

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Aaaw, but she just wants to show she loves you.

Kha:
*death glare*

Oh, allright. But she's such a good girl aren't you Cadia-chan? *pets Cadia's head*

Cadia Zwei:
Wai! Cadia is a good girl! *glomps Keroko-kun*
Aww...so cute

*ruffles Cadia Zwei's hair*
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Old 2008-06-05, 11:44   Link #854
tshouryuu
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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This was suppose to be in yesterday... sigh. I need to work faster...
Spoiler for Happy Birthday Hayate:
Sorry for not asking permission for any OCs used without permission and multiple apologizes to Hayate-san for the belated gift.

Btw, crack was inspired by Lowe so thank him or curse him

I'll response to some of the other posts later.
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Old 2008-06-05, 12:06   Link #855
Kyral
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
*spreads some crack in here, too*

Spoiler for Battle Speech:


*RUNS LIKE HELL*
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Ack-hem.

I'm back. Sort of, again. And with something new, too...So without further ado, I would like to present to all present:

The ZENITH Project
~Act One, Scene One~

Spoiler for The First Part...:
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Ahem, Double Post. Sorry, AS really didn't like the length of my post

The ZENITH Project
~Act One, Scene One~

Spoiler for ...And the Second Part:


I'm gonna wait till someone else posts before posting my major(-ly delayed) backlog breaker, just to avoid a triple post.

*hangs his head for FA to smack it*

Verossa!
Very nice! The beginning made it very interessting!
I was a little twitching with the "Special Operative" Rank... I always had to think about my TSAB Special Forces.

The fight was nice. :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Like how Reinforce has Reinforce Zwei, we have Cadia Zwei. And like Rein, she's small and adorable.
Sadly she won't stay small forever, huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tshouryuu View Post
This was suppose to be in yesterday... sigh. I need to work faster...
Spoiler for Happy Birthday Hayate:
Sorry for not asking permission for any OCs used without permission and multiple apologizes to Hayate-san for the belated gift.

Btw, crack was inspired by Lowe so thank him or curse him

I'll response to some of the other posts later.
The Wolkenritter! They sing! Village People!! O_o

*nearly dies from laughting*

Thank you! That was great! xD
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Old 2008-06-05, 12:32   Link #856
Tk3997
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Originally Posted by tshouryuu View Post
This was suppose to be in yesterday... sigh. I need to work faster...
Spoiler for Happy Birthday Hayate:
Sorry for not asking permission for any OCs used without permission and multiple apologizes to Hayate-san for the belated gift.

Btw, crack was inspired by Lowe so thank him or curse him

I'll response to some of the other posts later.
So you acutally did it, eh? You acutally got it out pretty quick all things consider still late though. and I don't know why you thought I'd kill you over something like this though I do have a sense of humor you know.
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Old 2008-06-05, 18:26   Link #857
Comartemis
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Okay, so the A's timeline is more or less worked out (roughly), now let's hit the A's to Nanoha Incident Timeline.

The first five months following A’s leading up to the A’s Epilogue have already been mostly covered in the manga and the tail end of the anime. During this time, Hayate, Alex, the Wolks, and Nanoha and Fate assume their positions as cadets in their various positions, but they won’t actively begin acting as combat instructors, investigators, enforcers, etc for quite some time (6 years later, according to the StrikerS manga). Alex, wanting to stick with Hayate, joins the Wolkenritter in what the manga calls the “Special Investigations Assistance Department”, which I assume provides backup units for SIO officers in the field.

Also, just for the record, Hayate doesn’t have an ambition to become a commander and operate on the back lines (nice cop-out there, 7Arcs), but a desire to fly in the skies with her beloved friends and family, facing and conquering all challenges together.

Now, since the Nanoha incident takes place a few months after the girls join the TSAB, I’m going to assume one of their early assignments involves good old Jail, since the Type-IV gadgets are involved with the incident and I doubt Jail would use those for anything less than an absolute emergency. With Hayate able to use her spells to much greater effect than 7Arcs allowed her to, Hayate winds up taking a much more active role in the investigation, and eventually she and Alex trace Jail to his base, thinking from their investigation that they’re just after a simple arms dealer, not a mad scientist with an army of mechanized troops at his command. This goes with Vita’s talk in the StrikerS manga of the unexpectedness of the attack (“It was just supposed to be another day with her…”).

In response to Hayate’s and Alex’s presence, Jail quickly evacuates what he can of his base and his most important resources, while scrambling Cinque and Tre to lead the Type-IVs against Alex and Hayate. The two are caught in an ambush and Hayate is critically injured by a barrage of Cinque’s Stinger knives, despite Alex’s best efforts at supporting and protecting her. Thus, the Nanoha Incident becomes the Hayate Incident. Alex pulls out, Jail escapes, and Hayate spends the next month in a coma.

The aftershocks of this incident ripple outwards through the cast like an asteroid dropped into the Pacific Ocean. Alex gains Vita’s obsession with not failing Hayate again after an extended period of angsting about his failure. The Wolks as a whole are similarly affected. Fate still fails her Enforcer exam, though by a slightly smaller margin than she did in canon. Nanoha, however, takes it the worst.

Nanoha passed over taking the mission Hayate had volunteered for since she believed Hayate wouldn’t have any problems with it. The important part, however, comes from the fact that while Hayate was out fighting Jail’s forces, Nanoha was focusing on her ambition to become a combat instructor with her continued intensive training. Around the same time Hayate is injured, Nanoha is ordered to see a physician after she passes out during a training exercise with her mentor. The exam reveals the extent of the strain her body is under, and Nanoha is immediately given a doctor’s order to cease and desist all training exercises to allow her body to recover.

The point of all this is a single guilty thought running through Nanoha’s head; “If I had taken that mission instead of Hayate, she wouldn’t be in this condition now.” This forces her to rethink her priorities, and leads her to give up on her ambition of becoming a combat instructor, and instead finds a place in the hierarchy where she can be of assistance to both Fate and Hayate, most likely as an Intelligence Department Investigator like Acous (“The name’s Takamachi. Nanoha Takamachi.”).

*EDIT*
Note that the specific unit Nanoha joins isn't all that important in the long run, the point is keeping the Aces together and letting them operate as the invincible team that they've proven themselves to be. They don't necessarily have to be in the exact same unit acting under the same orders, but their roles have to at least complement each other. For instance, another idea of mine was to have Nanoha join the navy and eventually gain command over her own warship. Fate would be assigned as this ship's resident Enforcer, and Hayate and the Wolks would use Nanoha's ship as a base of operations. The problem with this is now Nanoha is relegated to a command position and is getting somewhat shafted, though not to the same extent that Hayate was.
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Last edited by Comartemis; 2008-06-05 at 19:11.
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Old 2008-06-05, 20:50   Link #858
tshouryuu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
*spreads some crack in here, too*

Spoiler for Battle Speech:


*RUNS LIKE HELL*
LOL that was funny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tk3997 View Post
So you acutally did it, eh? You acutally got it out pretty quick all things consider still late though. and I don't know why you thought I'd kill you over something like this though I do have a sense of humor you know.
Considering the fact you're about tear off my head for even considering to involve Vita in Yakyuken, I think my fear is justified.
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Old 2008-06-05, 21:13   Link #859
Jimmy C
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Originally Posted by comartemis View Post
Now, since the Nanoha incident takes place a few months after the girls join the TSAB,
What do you mean months? It was two years after they joined!
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Old 2008-06-05, 21:24   Link #860
Comartemis
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Not according to the OC Timeline on page 1.

Quote:
MC 066 (5 months after A’s)

* Fate, Nanoha and Hayate joins the TSAB workforce

MC 067 (8 years ago)

* Reinforce Zwei is born. Hayate meets Acous/Carim, and the Ancient Belkan friendship begins.
* The Nanoha incident, due to overstressing.
Since A's ends right at the end of MC 065 (The book awakens on Christmas Eve), five months would put the Epilogue sometime in May of MC 066. Exactly when in 067 the incident takes place isn't clear, so I'm taking a little creative license and putting it at the end of winter 067, around February or so.
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