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Old 2008-05-24, 23:31   Link #21
Daughter!
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I am loving this thread.

I do work mainly in Iambs in my poetry. I find that conforming to a structure like Iambs (whether it's pentameter or tetrameter) I write a lot better than I ever do in free verse. When I write a free verse poem, I'm always unaware of my line breaks and the poem looks so ugly on the page. I'm also into the form of trimeter.

I'll post some unfinished stuff.

This first one's in Iambic Pentameter.
Spoiler:


Free Verse. There were a lot more stanzas to this poem but like I said, I have such a hard time with Free Verse poetry that I scrapped those other ones.
Spoiler:


I write fiction and also screenplays as well, but it is very late and I am very tired, I'll save it for some other time.
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Old 2008-05-25, 03:24   Link #22
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pop-Punk Sucks View Post
Free Verse. There were a lot more stanzas to this poem but like I said, I have such a hard time with Free Verse poetry that I scrapped those other ones.
Spoiler:


I write fiction and also screenplays as well, but it is very late and I am very tired, I'll save it for some other time.
I used to explore stuff with pentameter & rhythm, but I always struggled to write what I wanted. I guess a lot of poets face the problem of being restrained by structure & allowing technicalities to influence originality. So free verse works better for me - for now.

Nice progression on the -less words there. Really short your poems are, length-wise. Are all your poems in this style, both the metered & free versed ones?
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Old 2008-05-26, 04:01   Link #23
Daniel E.
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Hey, you guys should start your very own writting social club.
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Old 2008-05-26, 17:14   Link #24
Daughter!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelter View Post
I used to explore stuff with pentameter & rhythm, but I always struggled to write what I wanted. I guess a lot of poets face the problem of being restrained by structure & allowing technicalities to influence originality. So free verse works better for me - for now.

Nice progression on the -less words there. Really short your poems are, length-wise. Are all your poems in this style, both the metered & free versed ones?
Thank you!

It varies, I have some that are very long. I'm just not really confident in them. Nothing I have that I'm confident in is finished, lol. In fact, I'm doing a free verse poem now called Franz that's probably going to end up being pretty long.

Do you write things on the longer side?
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Old 2008-05-26, 18:53   Link #25
TinyRedLeaf
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^ Less is sometimes more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pop-Punk Sucks
Nothing I have that I'm confident in is finished, lol.
Welcome to the club. We are our own worst critics.

When I flip through my published articles, I am often amazed by how I managed to construct the story at the time. It's like, "Wow, did I really write that?" Writing is an agonising experience for me, not unlike childbirth - I'd only feel good after the story is completed. I envy those who find writing to be a stress-relieving activity.

It gets worse when people praise my previous articles. They mean well, of course. But unfortunately, they damn me with fine praise, making it ever harder to compete against my own writing. Heh, so it's with grave pleasure that I pass my praise to you. I think you've got a fine sense of rhythm, coupled with a deliciously dark imagination. From the two short poems, I can tell you're probably pretty good at writing song lyrics. Carry on the good work.
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Old 2008-05-26, 20:11   Link #26
TinyRedLeaf
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By the way, I've created a social group for creative writing called "Dead Poets Society". I think it would serve as a better venue for such content, because of its cosier and more focused setting. Feel free to drop by. It's open to all members of the Forum, no invitations required.
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Old 2008-05-30, 12:09   Link #27
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pop-Punk Sucks View Post
Thank you!

It varies, I have some that are very long. I'm just not really confident in them. Nothing I have that I'm confident in is finished, lol. In fact, I'm doing a free verse poem now called Franz that's probably going to end up being pretty long.

Do you write things on the longer side?
Unfortunately not. Most of my poetry never reaches any longer than 30 lines. My longest piece is an extremely weird poem I wrote on the spur of the moment for Miyazaki's masterpiece of an anime Princess Mononoke, which I lamely titled Ballad of the Wolf Rider. Like all writers, I cringe when I re-read it because I wonder: "what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that??"

Short poems - yes. They work better for me
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Old 2008-05-30, 13:37   Link #28
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I'm not a writer, but I do like to write, mostly travelogues, lol. Whenever I go on a road trip, or head out to Japan to visit family, or to Thailand to visit my other family, I'll write about it.
I also am an avid fan of 100words.com, where you can only write 100 words every day for a month, and entered in the April batch.

Here's an entry:

Quote:
Originally Posted by entry#24
Midori sits on a bus stop bench hunched over a dog-eared copy of The Fountainhead. She is wearing a blue dress with a white, ribbed collar, and blue flip-flops. She is hatless and is toughing it out under the mid-August sun. She is pouring out sweat the size of cough drops, but it no longer matters. Howard Roark is addressing the audience, and she cannot turn away just yet. She remembers there was a college boy she met in an elevator who had this very novel stuffed into his coat pocket. She wants to know him, so she continues reading.
Quote:
Originally Posted by entry#18
So I am interviewing the one-legged man and he tells me about how it was dangerous to cross the border after a while because there was nothing out there but land mines. Now if you were to travel to Cambodia, he says, always follow the beaten pathways. All those land mines, he says, must have blown off on someone else’s legs or arms decades ago, so you’re pretty safe from there. I noticed solemnly that he did not have a wooden leg at all. Correction: He had a wooden leg, but now he’s getting one of those nifty prosthetic ones.
lol, I know. Not much of a writer. Nice to meet you all btw. I'm totally enjoying reading a lot of the stuff here.

If anybody is interested in 100words by the way, I'm listed as "Oryx" there.
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Old 2008-05-30, 13:55   Link #29
Qwazar
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I am certainly not the greatest writer of all times, but as all 16 year old loners (or semi-loners), I sure have tried my hand in fiction. There was a time when I hoped I could write professionaly, with practice, of course, but internet people, well, while not disaproving, mostly ignored my work. I still try to write something every now and then, though. Some of my shorter stuff (I am translating on the spot, by the way, so a lot could be lost in translation)

Jasmines (or a story about the funeral of differences):

Bodies, bodies, dead bodies. Dead bodies are moved in coaches, in coffins. The coaches ride along, the friends and family follow, drinking and celebrating. Then this dead body falls in a pit, some earth is thrown on it, as it ignites in bright flames. It smells of jasmines. The whole graveyard- it smells of jasmines. And burning earth.
The friends and the family, breathing too much of the jasmine smoke, become more passive, slower, but also smilier. They peel off their orange suits, while all that's left underneath is grimly grey tracksuits. But now they love each other far far more. So they set themselves on fire, and smelling of a field of blossoming flowers, one after another they shoot up in the air.
The ones looking from the side, they feel truly fulfilled and joyous, because the fireworks they witness smell of roses, daffodils, geranias and camomiles. There was still, indeed the smell of burn, but no one seemed to be truly worried about it.
From the overwhelming joy, the spectators, all of them, ran up in the air, and afterwards fell down, breaking arms, necks and hearths. Pessimists and cynicists collapsed underneath, under their flowery umbrellas. They survived, yet they didn't become any happier from that. In fact they were all even sadder and more miserable than before.
There was a faint smell of jasmines in the air, and another catafalc brought another body towards the graveyard.

--------------------------------------

Can't be arsed to translate more. If you liked it, i just might. Oh, and I don't usualy write like this. I was influenced by a surrealistic book, whose name I couldn't remember to save my life.
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Old 2008-05-30, 20:57   Link #30
shelter
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@Nervous Venus:

I've tried writing mirco-fiction before (anything within 100 words), but I realised that I'm actually quite long-winded I suppose micro-fiction is good when it comes to getting a summary of stuff, although I must go check out the 100words.com site you recommended. Thanks.

@Qwazar:

Don't really know what to make of Jasmine. Even though I'm not to familiar with surrealist writing, I do assume that the abstract needs some grounding in the real? Or at least some touch of realism? I did think that the short piece was engaging to the senses (sight & smell) to some extent.

You say you don't usually write like this - what's your preference/ normal style?
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Old 2008-06-07, 23:41   Link #31
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelter View Post
Unfortunately not. Most of my poetry never reaches any longer than 30 lines. My longest piece is an extremely weird poem I wrote on the spur of the moment for Miyazaki's masterpiece of an anime Princess Mononoke, which I lamely titled Ballad of the Wolf Rider. Like all writers, I cringe when I re-read it because I wonder: "what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that??"

Short poems - yes. They work better for me
That was a "short" poem? Wow. I really liked it, even though I didn't understand it. I don't have a head for abstract stuff like that, but it was beautifully written nonetheless. ...Okay, this is embarrassing, but can someone explain it to me? I've re-read it a few times, but I've never been good at deciphering poetry...

Anyway, I'm hoping this thread might still live on. I'll post another story I'm writing. It's a Star Wars fanfic. I hope it's okay. In any case, read the first chapter and find out! (I have four chapters finished so far, working on a fifth... slowly... )

Well, here it is. It is my fanfic, entitled STAR WARS: ACE SQUADRON.

Foreword:
This is loosely based upon some of the events surrounding the movies and video games. Some people who have played the game "Rogue Squadron" may even recognize a line here and there. Those familiar with the X-Wing series of novels may see a similarity in writing style (though nowhere near that level) and characters. A lot of characters are my own creations, but a few are real Rogues and Aces. I believe their squad designations are accurate - I scrounged through countless novels to try and confirm them, but I may be wrong. I did my best to remain true to cannon, but that's harder than it sounds, given the sheer immensity of the Star Wars Universe.

Spoiler for Dramatis Personae:


Spoiler for Ace Squadron: Chapter One:
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Old 2008-06-08, 19:38   Link #32
whitepearl
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Interesting thread.

I allegedly have always had a knack for writing (something I only realized when I was in high school; otherwise, I had written a lot in 5th grade and throughout junior high school) so I thought this was a great thread for me to show off something I had been working on since the middle of May.

Like others here, I have a bad habit of starting something and never finishing. I also have a bad habit of rewriting from scratch when I grew tired of my own work. For this, however, I hope it doesn't happen.

This has no title yet. The first chapter is ridiculously long so I split this excerpt into two manageable portions (and I still left out much of the first chapter). I hope you guys like (most other people have given me positive feedback on what I've written though I'm hesitant to believe them)

Spoiler for part 1 contains censored foul language:


Spoiler for part 2, some more censored bad words:


Usuratonkachi, I liked the second excerpt you posted.
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Old 2008-06-10, 21:44   Link #33
Daughter!
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Nice peace, whitepearl.

Spoiler:
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Old 2008-06-10, 21:58   Link #34
Nervous Venus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelter View Post
@Nervous Venus:

I've tried writing mirco-fiction before (anything within 100 words), but I realised that I'm actually quite long-winded I suppose micro-fiction is good when it comes to getting a summary of stuff, although I must go check out the 100words.com site you recommended. Thanks.
It's pretty neat once you get to know some of the members. Well, the lesser oddballs ones at least.

I'm actually better at what you call "microfiction", but then again, I've never written anything more than two pages. I'm a person of few words?? I can actually write a very short but complete story, but 100 words or less would be really pushing it ,

I guess I should practice writing more though. I gave up after a while when I used to get comments from creative writing class about classmates having trouble connecting with my characters. I always get, " The writing is surprisingly good, you're really able to blend in the lines between reality and fiction, blahblah blah, but for some reason I can't connect with your characters." ;/
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Old 2008-06-11, 11:39   Link #35
shelter
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@Nervous Venus:

Reading stuff from 100words is like reading fragments of someone's mind. They are so randomly poetic & complete in their own way. Trying just to keep every single piece of work to 100 words & allow it to mean something so profound is really discipline (...goes away to practice).

Quote:
I guess I should practice writing more though. I gave up after a while when I used to get comments from creative writing class about classmates having trouble connecting with my characters. I always get, " The writing is surprisingly good, you're really able to blend in the lines between reality and fiction, blahblah blah, but for some reason I can't connect with your characters." ;/
Hmmm...I believe characters are the only part of a story that exclusively belong to the writer. And it's tough to create a character that every single person can identify with anyway. Still it's good to have had some practice... I wish I could've attended a creative writing class when I was in school. I didn't attend one until last year and - whoa - it really blew my mind that there are teachers who can actually help improve my writing.
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Old 2008-06-11, 12:56   Link #36
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I remember the days in elementary school where we had to write 100-word journal entries. I remember how I tried to count every word to make sure it was exactly 100 (lol) ; nowadays, writing 100 words is a piece of cake.

But, I am curious to check out that 100words site...

Pop-punk, thanks for the feedback.
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Old 2008-06-11, 15:51   Link #37
Mystique
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thanks for the 100words.com site, will check it out at work and keep my creative juices flowing

Just two snippets of two stories from me, the rest if there's interest, i'll post in 'chapters' on the Dead Poets Society group, kinda like the cosy small environment than mass public viewing

NOTE: creative liberty with the use of 'lil' for 'little' - it's deliberate.
Spoiler for Water Solidifed:

Next one was for a competition i took part in, it had to be related to 'japan' and be consistant with a 'theme' that we had a choice out of ten to pick from.

Spoiler for Natural course of things:
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Old 2008-06-11, 16:20   Link #38
Daughter!
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Finished...for now.

Spoiler:
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Old 2008-06-12, 03:15   Link #39
TinyRedLeaf
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^ Very well done.

Spoiler for for small comment:
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Old 2008-06-12, 10:07   Link #40
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Spoiler for Water Solidifed:
I can infer with the title "Water Solidified", but the link is not too strong.

For one, I think your story's close to effortless. It's got everything from perspective to detail; I think the only thing that's lacking is the lil mirror's character. But, then again, judging from all those cartoons like "Brave Little Toaster" etc etc where inanimate things someone start speaking & having emotions, perhaps leaving your mirror as a something solely defined by its description isn't a bad thing after all


@Pop-punk Sucks: Very nice indeed. "Bleeding roaches" is a great description.
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