The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Discreet]

Every monument needs a base Chao, there's nothing wrong with that.

[dkellis]

How I understood it works is that if we want to write our own stuff, we're perfectly free to do so, but the Official Version will be Kaisos's.

However, Kaisos might use our versions in the Official Rewrite, if it fits well enough. If it doesn't, it doesn't matter that much anyway, since the only thing which makes it Official is early thread consensus.

I think of it as a group effort, rather than individual credit. The rewrite is not anyone's personal project, but the Animesuki thread's in general. It's about the same as asking "who's the author of this Wikipedia article?" There might be individuals attached to the original setting of words to screen, but the end product is a communal achievement.

After all, Kaisos is still beholden to the editors.

[ShinyaKyoto]

Chapter 1 of the drama CD is done and just finished the script to chapter 2... which i send to most of my VAs that are n the project.

[Kaisos Erranon]

Originally Posted by dkellis

How I understood it works is that if we want to write our own stuff, we're perfectly free to do so, but the Official Version will be Kaisos's.

However, Kaisos might use our versions in the Official Rewrite, if it fits well enough. If it doesn't, it doesn't matter that much anyway, since the only thing which makes it Official is early thread consensus.

I think of it as a group effort, rather than individual credit. The rewrite is not anyone's personal project, but the Animesuki thread's in general. It's about the same as asking "who's the author of this Wikipedia article?" There might be individuals attached to the original setting of words to screen, but the end product is a communal achievement.

After all, Kaisos is still beholden to the editors.

That's exactly it. Though I can't access the rewrites for Boredom from my laptop, so...

Yeah.

I think I can use USB drives on this machine, but due to having to sort the kids into the barracks last night I didn't get much done...

AND I can't watch Geass for two months. Dammit.

Oh well, at least I get 3700-odd dollars for doing pretty much shit all all summer.

I'll be online again tomorrow, hopefully with a rewrite for you guys.

[beanbrew]

What are you doing, anyway?

[besieger]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

That's exactly it. Though I can't access the rewrites for Boredom from my laptop, so...

Yeah.

I think I can use USB drives on this machine, but due to having to sort the kids into the barracks last night I didn't get much done...

AND I can't watch Geass for two months. Dammit.

Oh well, at least I get 3700-odd dollars for doing pretty much shit all all summer.

I'll be online again tomorrow, hopefully with a rewrite for you guys.

... I have to ask, are you staffing a cadet training centre...?

[shaoron]

Originally Posted by Kagedanji

How many times has the dango told you this? Huh?

you know what...?



you!

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

... Would've been funnier with an image of a very stylized capital letter U next to the screw...

[shaoron]

lol... one of our mods in AQS (probably the only one active) has a beef with kyonko for somerason...
and here's his latest signiture

[DannyCat]

Apparently it's a rotating sig. Earlier it was ponytail Haruhi, but now the image linked is Konata and Kagami.

Edit: And, as I hit F5 just now, it's back to Haruhi again.

[Nanao-kun]

That's pretty unique. I've never seen a sig that changes whenever you refresh.

[Kaisos Erranon]

Originally Posted by HikariNiwa

That's pretty unique. I've never seen a sig that changes whenever you refresh.

You're rather sheltered, then.

Originally Posted by beanbrew

What are you doing, anyway?

See below.

Originally Posted by besieger

... I have to ask, are you staffing a cadet training centre...?

Yes, yes I am. My job is security, basically.

Also, Vol. 2 Prologue needs editing:

Spoiler for Vol. 2 Prologue:

Haruki seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't let anything bother him. But, he does. The only thing that bothers him is that "this world is too damn ordinary!"

To him, the "extraordinary things" are supernatural phenomena of any kind, meaning that he often thinks weird things like "I can't believe I can't even find half a ghost anywhere!"

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "alien", "time traveler", or "esper." However, it's common knowledge that things like that only appear in fiction. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means as long as Haruki continues to live in this world, he will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to believe these things I normally insist upon; in other words, I'm also bothered.

Because I know that aliens, time travelers, and espers do exist.



------

The following is a dialogue between Haruki and myself:


"Haruki, listen to me for once. I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"You've always wanted aliens, time travelers and espers to exist, right?"

"Yeah, duh. So what?"

"So, in other words, the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find those kind of people. Right?"

"Yeah, but remember, it's not enough just to find them, we have to be able to hang out together too. I wanna play a main role, not just sit tight like a good little boy in the audience."

"That's pretty much the exact opposite of what I want... sigh, whatever. Anyway, have you ever thought that those aliens, time travelers, and espers might actually be surprisingly close?"

"Eh? Whaddya mean? Don't tell me you mean Yuuki, Mitsuuru-kun, or Koizumi-san? If it's them, then that's not really a 'surprise'."

[Editor's note: That line is stupid but I can't think of anything to replace it. Suggestions, perchance?]

"Um, well... actually, I did mean to tell you that it was them all along."

"...You an idiot or something? It can't be that easy."

"Yeah, that would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You'll be happy to hear this. Nagato Yuuki is the alien. Um, how did it go again? Should be Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically, he was created by aliens and given a body."

"Hmm... and what about Mitsuuru-kun?"

"Asahina-senpai is simple to explain: he's a time traveler. He comes from the future, so he'd be a time traveler, right?"

[Editor's note: Making sense of bad translations is fun. Except not.]

"Then how many years into the future is he from?"

"Well, he didn't tell me that."

"Oh. I see."

"Really? You do?"

"So that means Koizumi-san is an esper? Were you planning on telling me all this from the start?"

[Editor's note: Gaaah. I can't freaking wait for the english novels. Unless they actually are called “Suzunazi”.]

"Yeah, yeah! That's right!"

"Ah." Haruki's eyebrows were twitching as he spoke. He slowly stood up and then, in one quick movement, slammed his palms down on the table:

"Don't. Mess. With. Me!"


Just like that, Haruki completely discarded the truth that I had put so much effort into getting out. Oh well, I had expected this of him. Even after the three of them each shown me that they were indeed an alien, a time traveler, and an esper, I still had trouble believing them. Especially considering that he hadn't seen what I had seen, making Haruki believe what I said was almost impossible.

What else was I supposed to tell him, though? All I had said was the truth. I look like a credible person, right? People should believe the stuff I say!

Although, Haruki wasn't at fault here. If an nice girl came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I'd probably also lose my temper and start yelling. If that girl said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that her brain had been infected by some virus, or been addled by deadly neurotoxin. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for her, but in any case, I don't think I would continue to talk to that girl.

[Editor's note: Yes, that was a Portal reference.]

Hey, right now, isn't "that girl" me?

"Listen up, Kyon, and listen carefully." Haruki stared at me with fire in his eyes, his face three inches away from mine. "It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time traveler, or a esper, they're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't possibly be that rare and precious!"

[Editor's note: Sometimes, not changing the dialogue at all makes it funnier. I'm still chucking at Haruki using a word like “precious”.]

Wow, that actually made sense. Ironically enough though, other than me, the other three really are blessed with supernatural abilities. I'm the only normal human.

Wait a minute, did he say that he just grabbed random people for the club?

[Editor's note: This line makes no sense either. I really can't wait for the English novels. WHY is it another year of waiting? WHY?]

Sigh, why does this moron only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If he'd only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus “SOS Brigade” could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens et al for Haruki. Once he finds those things, there wouldn't be any point in keeping the club around. After that, he can play with those unnatural beings all he likes, while I stay backstage and add a few laughs here and there.

I really hope this happens soon, because, right now, I feel like a performing animal trapped in a circus...

Though, if Haruki had any clue what was really going on, I don't know what the world would be like.


Oh, right. I should let you know when this dialogue took place. It happened during our second "SOS Brigade Wandering Around In The City (Temporary Name)” club event, when I talked with Haruki inside the restaurant by the station. I didn't have any doubts that Haruki would pay for the meal; I'd explained all that to him as I was nonchalantly sipping my coffee. He didn't take me seriously at all, but I'm fine with that. Whoever believes in that stuff needs to have their brain examined anyway.

I didn't bother to tell him the specifics, since too many details about something like this would only make him suspicious. Besides, I didn't understand most of the unclear explanations I heard in Nagato's apartment anyway.

"I just don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again, okay?" Haruki drained his coke in one gulp. “Anyway, let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around!”

I can't imagine where Haruki will drag me today, nor do I want to.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today, so could you pay? Really? Thanks!" Completely ignoring my sputters of protest, Haruki shoved the bill towards me.

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this latest atrocity, Haruki grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp too. He then marched towards the exit of the restaurant, turned around, and put his hands on his hips.

“Well? Aren't you coming? Time's a-wastin'!”

I glared at him.

[Editor's note: The following narration takes place chronologically after Vol. 3, but I'm doing it now anyway just for completion's sake. I'll come back to Vol. 2 after I've finished Vol. 3 and Endless Eight.]

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of weird stuff during these past six months. The SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought excitement to. I think only Haruki really felt whatever excitement it was supposed to bring. Plus, the club's raison d'etre is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However, from Haruki's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

That's is because Haruki believes he hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. I've tried my best, but there was nothing else I could do. I've already told her the other three members' true identities, but he just wouldn't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal, thus losing its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't been disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have chosen to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Nagato Yuuki, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Haruki, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: Explodes When Stepped On" in red neon lights. There's no way that I have the courage to do that. If I had only known, I would not have talked to that stubborn, angry boy who put up that unfriendly expression every single day.

A normal high school girl who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like some moron - that's me. And this time bomb labeled "Suzumiya Haruki" doesn't even have a counter on it. I have no idea when it's going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

I can't seem to find the trash bin labeled "Hazardous Materials Only" no matter how hard I try. Which means, this dangerous entity that I've activated is essentially covered with superglue, stuck to my hand harder than anything else could be.

Sigh... Where am I gonna find a place to throw him away?

Vol. 1 is relatively free of translation issues, but Vol. 2, I have noticed, is not.

It's going to be so much fun when I get to Vol. 9... which has the worst translation so far...

Sob...

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Spoiler for Vol. 2 Prologue:

Haruki seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't let anything bother him. But, he does. The only thing that bothers him is that "this world is too damn ordinary!"

To him, the "extraordinary things" are supernatural phenomena of any kind, meaning that he often thinks weird things like "I can't believe I can't even find half a ghost anywhere!"

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "alien", "time traveler", or "esper." However, it's common knowledge that things like that only appear in fiction. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means as long as Haruki continues to live in this world, he will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to believe these things I normally insist upon; in other words, I'm also bothered.

Because I know that aliens, time travelers, and espers do exist.



------

The following is a dialogue between Haruki and myself:


"Haruki, listen to me for once. I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"You've always wanted aliens, time travelers and espers to exist, right?"

"Yeah, duh. So what?"

"So, in other words, the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find those kind of people. Right?"

"Yeah, but remember, it's not enough just to find them, we have to be able to hang out together too. I wanna play a main role, not just sit tight like a good little boy in the audience."

"That's pretty much the exact opposite of what I want... sigh, whatever. Anyway, have you ever thought that those aliens, time travelers, and espers might actually be surprisingly close?"

"Eh? Whaddya mean? Don't tell me you mean Yuuki, Mitsuuru-kun, or Koizumi-san? If it's them, then that's not really a 'surprise'."

[Editor's note: That line is stupid but I can't think of anything to replace it. Suggestions, perchance?]

"Um, well... actually, I did mean to tell you that it was them all along."

"...You an idiot or something? It can't be that easy."

"Yeah, that would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You'll be happy to hear this. Nagato Yuuki is the alien. Um, how did it go again? Should be Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically, he was created by aliens and given a body."

"Hmm... and what about Mitsuuru-kun?"

"Asahina-senpai is simple to explain: he's a time traveler. He comes from the future, so he'd be a time traveler, right?"

[Editor's note: Making sense of bad translations is fun. Except not.]

"Then how many years into the future is he from?"

"Well, he didn't tell me that."

"Oh. I see."

"Really? You do?"

"So that means Koizumi-san is an esper? Were you planning on telling me all this from the start?"

[Editor's note: Gaaah. I can't freaking wait for the english novels. Unless they actually are called “Suzunazi”.]

"Yeah, yeah! That's right!"

"Ah." Haruki's eyebrows were twitching as he spoke. He slowly stood up and then, in one quick movement, slammed his palms down on the table:

"Don't. Mess. With. Me!"


Just like that, Haruki completely discarded the truth that I had put so much effort into getting out. Oh well, I had expected this of him. Even after the three of them each shown me that they were indeed an alien, a time traveler, and an esper, I still had trouble believing them. Especially considering that he hadn't seen what I had seen, making Haruki believe what I said was almost impossible.

What else was I supposed to tell him, though? All I had said was the truth. I look like a credible person, right? People should believe the stuff I say!

Although, Haruki wasn't at fault here. If an nice girl came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I'd probably also lose my temper and start yelling. If that girl said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that her brain had been infected by some virus, or been addled by deadly neurotoxin. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for her, but in any case, I don't think I would continue to talk to that girl.

[Editor's note: Yes, that was a Portal reference.]

Hey, right now, isn't "that girl" me?

"Listen up, Kyon, and listen carefully." Haruki stared at me with fire in his eyes, his face three inches away from mine. "It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time traveler, or a esper, they're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't possibly be that rare and precious!"

[Editor's note: Sometimes, not changing the dialogue at all makes it funnier. I'm still chucking at Haruki using a word like “precious”.]

Wow, that actually made sense. Ironically enough though, other than me, the other three really are blessed with supernatural abilities. I'm the only normal human.

Wait a minute, did he say that he just grabbed random people for the club?

[Editor's note: This line makes no sense either. I really can't wait for the English novels. WHY is it another year of waiting? WHY?]

Sigh, why does this moron only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If he'd only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus “SOS Brigade” could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens et al for Haruki. Once he finds those things, there wouldn't be any point in keeping the club around. After that, he can play with those unnatural beings all he likes, while I stay backstage and add a few laughs here and there.

I really hope this happens soon, because, right now, I feel like a performing animal trapped in a circus...

Though, if Haruki had any clue what was really going on, I don't know what the world would be like.


Oh, right. I should let you know when this dialogue took place. It happened during our second "SOS Brigade Wandering Around In The City (Temporary Name)” club event, when I talked with Haruki inside the restaurant by the station. I didn't have any doubts that Haruki would pay for the meal; I'd explained all that to him as I was nonchalantly sipping my coffee. He didn't take me seriously at all, but I'm fine with that. Whoever believes in that stuff needs to have their brain examined anyway.

I didn't bother to tell him the specifics, since too many details about something like this would only make him suspicious. Besides, I didn't understand most of the unclear explanations I heard in Nagato's apartment anyway.

"I just don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again, okay?" Haruki drained his coke in one gulp. “Anyway, let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around!”

I can't imagine where Haruki will drag me today, nor do I want to.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today, so could you pay? Really? Thanks!" Completely ignoring my sputters of protest, Haruki shoved the bill towards me.

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this latest atrocity, Haruki grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp too. He then marched towards the exit of the restaurant, turned around, and put his hands on his hips.

“Well? Aren't you coming? Time's a-wastin'!”

I glared at him.

[Editor's note: The following narration takes place chronologically after Vol. 3, but I'm doing it now anyway just for completion's sake. I'll come back to Vol. 2 after I've finished Vol. 3 and Endless Eight.]

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of weird stuff during these past six months. The SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought excitement to. I think only Haruki really felt whatever excitement it was supposed to bring. Plus, the club's raison d'etre is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However, from Haruki's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

That's is because Haruki believes he hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. I've tried my best, but there was nothing else I could do. I've already told her the other three members' true identities, but he just wouldn't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal, thus losing its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't been disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have chosen to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Nagato Yuuki, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Haruki, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: Explodes When Stepped On" in red neon lights. There's no way that I have the courage to do that. If I had only known, I would not have talked to that stubborn, angry boy who put up that unfriendly expression every single day.

A normal high school girl who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like some moron - that's me. And this time bomb labeled "Suzumiya Haruki" doesn't even have a counter on it. I have no idea when it's going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

I can't seem to find the trash bin labeled "Hazardous Materials Only" no matter how hard I try. Which means, this dangerous entity that I've activated is essentially covered with superglue, stuck to my hand harder than anything else could be.

Sigh... Where am I gonna find a place to throw him away?

Vol. 1 is relatively free of translation issues, but Vol. 2, I have noticed, is not.

It's going to be so much fun when I get to Vol. 9... which has the worst translation so far...

Sob...

Damn, Haruki is such a dick

[besieger]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Yes, yes I am. My job is security, basically.

*snip*

Security, fun. I am an ex-cadet, actually. XD Which training centre are you at?

[Nanao-kun]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

You're rather sheltered, then.

*snip*

I suppose spending 6 years from the age of 10 to 16 entirely in front of the computer wasn't long enough.

EDIT: Maybe I should start rping again on forums, just to have a reason to visit a forum.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

That's is because Haruki believes he hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. I've tried my best, but there was nothing else I could do. I've already told her the other three members' true identities, but he just wouldn't believe me.

You missed something.

[shaoron]

right... it's time once again to....

MAKE WISHES FOR WHAT YOU WANT 16 and 25 years from now!!!!


now if you'll excuse me... i have a "date" of sorts 3 years back....

[ClockWorkAngel]

Remember you must be very detailed! Names, dates, many numbers!

And while we're at it, write for what you wish for in your next lifetime!

[Puffendahl]

I wonder why this thread always progresses quite a lot when I'm gone (not that I'm complaining, much at least. Progress is always good )... Maybe I'm the one who is slowing it down with my mere presence

Anyway, I'm mostly posting because I thought someone might actually wonder about the Kyonko-facepalm gif I've been making (just in case, you see). I've actually worked on it, and was going to post Version 4 now. However, I'm currently on a holiday in England, which, obviously isn't really the actual problem. The problem is that I took the wrong USB drive with me, and don't have the file. I don't even have the individual frames with me...

So, no Version 4 for three weeks. But, I guess no-one will be missing it any earlier either, so I just thought I should mention it... Like I said, just to be sure.

[Kaisos Erranon]

Happy Tanabata, everyone. I wish for the second season of Haruhi and a life.

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

Damn, Haruki is such a dick

I did try to tone him down a bit though. You don't offend the girl you're trying to bone too much...

Originally Posted by besieger

Security, fun. I am an ex-cadet, actually. XD Which training centre are you at?

Penhold. I applied for Cold Lake, but...

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

You missed something.

I'll let the editors deal with that... remote access is too damn slow...

Also, editors, I do want you to look at the original text for this one, as I took a few liberties with the translation for readability.