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Old 2008-07-30, 22:52   Link #2561
Evil Rick
Black Dragon
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Because we can't just have enough motivations

Spoiler for And here we go...:
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Old 2008-07-31, 00:44   Link #2562
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Unnecessary
Age: 28
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Hahahah ^^, I laughed like a little girl on this one.
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Old 2008-07-31, 02:27   Link #2563
Tornix
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How about more motivations?

Spoiler for Motivations:
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Old 2008-07-31, 04:31   Link #2564
Utau
Butler mitai~
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 智代の部屋
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possible reposts

Spoiler for oldies:
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Old 2008-07-31, 05:20   Link #2565
Solais
Youkai of Coincidence
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: The Border of Common Sense
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tornix View Post
How about more motivations?

Spoiler for Motivations:
OH MY F*CKING GOD!!! HOW THE SH*T THAT HAPPENED? It's.... hilarious!!
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Old 2008-07-31, 09:08   Link #2566
Solafighter
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows







Spoiler for Funny story for aviation fans ;):
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Old 2008-07-31, 22:38   Link #2567
Evil Rick
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Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...


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Old 2008-08-01, 00:53   Link #2568
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Unnecessary
Age: 28
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These are from Comedy Central's Joke of the Day.

Collected the ones I've found quite hilarious ^^

Will edit as i read more ^^

The Living Statues
Quote:
Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.

Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
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Old 2008-08-01, 06:02   Link #2569
Solafighter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post







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Last edited by Solafighter; 2008-08-01 at 06:16.
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Old 2008-08-01, 06:35   Link #2570
escimo
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Age: 31




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Last edited by escimo; 2008-08-01 at 09:16. Reason: Pic links fixed.
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Old 2008-08-01, 10:27   Link #2571
Eps~
Busy busy busy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Slovenia
Age: 26




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Old 2008-08-01, 10:42   Link #2572
Avantoe
In Memories
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eps~ View Post




You sir, just made my day!

Seems the cookie monster wont let me give you cookies yet though =(
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Old 2008-08-02, 17:42   Link #2573
Comrade
A fuckin' genius!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Here, there ... EVERYWHERE!
Age: 27
Here's a few jokes.

1.
University. Examination period. All students, except for one, have already finished and handed over their works and have left. The professor patiently waits for the last student in the classroom to finish, but eventually his patience runs out and he says to the student. "If you can tell me how many light bulbs are in this room I will put you an A+."
The student looks up and quickly counts the light bulbs. "Ten."
"Wrong. I had another one in my pocket." The professor replies and pulls out the eleventh light bulb from his pocket. "This means that you have failed."
The student is then forced to repeat the same year. A year later, during the exams, the same situation arrives and the professor once again offers the student an A+ if he can tell how many light bulbs there are.
"Eleven." the student instantly replies. But the professor shakes his head.
"Wrong. I didn't bring a light bulb this time."
"Don't worry, professor." The student says. "This time I brought my own." And pulls a light bulb from his pocket.

2.
"Mom, I'm sixteen years old already, can I start wearing a bra?"
"No, son."

3.
A conversation between a woman and her lover.
Lover: "Listen, I recently found out about a new sex position..."
"Shhh. Don't speak. That damned parrot will tell my husband about it later."
"It's okay, we can put a blanket over his cage." After it is done the lover continues. "So its like this. You sit on the windowsill, naked and you spread your legs. I will swing from the chandelier, leap onto you and..."
Suddenly the parrot speaks from under the blanket. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! You can cut out my tongue afterwards. But I HAVE TO SEE THIS!"
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Old 2008-08-02, 17:44   Link #2574
Kazuma77
Kakashi Fangirl
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Age: 30
Those who know me know that I love flying, this however is just brilliant. Living with a pilot I can truly appreciate the poor mechanics views… I think it’s a good thing that I’m not a Flight Mechanic is all I can say!

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a “gripe sheet”, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a little person pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from little person

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Old 2008-08-02, 18:22   Link #2575
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Sox fan."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

"Why I'm proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cubs fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Cubs fans, and I'm a Cubs fan too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Sox fan."
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Old 2008-08-02, 21:20   Link #2576
Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Indonesia
Age: 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray
[URL=http://img92.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1107273442007qr2.jpg
[/URL]
Come a little closer and you will be died
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Old 2008-08-03, 03:30   Link #2577
felix
sleepyhead
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: event horizon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazuma77 View Post
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
Some of them were really funny.
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Old 2008-08-04, 11:17   Link #2578
Amray
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 24


This gave me a little laugh.
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Old 2008-08-04, 11:23   Link #2579
Patrunjelu
Oh, Hay!
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Romania
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray View Post


This gave me a little laugh.
I lol'd.
thanks for the laugh. that just made my day
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Old 2008-08-04, 11:28   Link #2580
Amray
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrunjelu View Post
I lol'd.
thanks for the laugh. that just made my day
Happy to be of assistance, although their is more where that came from. One of my best friends has a whole book of funny signs around the world. I enjoy reading it in spare time.

This was quite a good one for me.


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