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Old 2008-11-17, 18:49   Link #11041
markesellus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.42 (this one is very NSFW. STill AS safe, but NSFW.:
Well she actually went and is enjoying herself, which is a good thing. But maybe something bad will happen, maybe involving random stripper girl in the beginning (which was really funny btw).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
Hows this

Jail = Emperor
Precia = Vader
Alicia = Luke
Fate = Leia
Nanoha = Han Solo
Yunno = Lando
Regius = Grand Moff Tarkin
Numbers = Imperial Guard
Chrono = Admiral Ackbar
Rein II = C-3PO
Agito = R2-D2
Hayate = Wedge Antilies
Zafira = Chewbacca

Tell me what you think.
With hmm, that's interesting with Precia as Vader we can have "Luke I am you're mother" jokes. Ooh! With this you make NanoFate possible (which is fun). I think Rein and Agito should switch because R2D2 just does whatever it wants to, while C-3PO fights with him all the time. But I guess it would work either way. Quite the interesting list. I like it. Wait, but what happens to Hayate and the Wolkenritter?

[EDIT] Pageclaim for chicken! BumpofChicken!
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Old 2008-11-17, 18:53   Link #11042
Allquall
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.42 (this one is very NSFW. STill AS safe, but NSFW.:
Once again, this is my opinion. Harvest what you want.

I like it, but I can't help but feel that something is missing here. The prose is fine, and it flows well, but I find Syn's rapid change toward acceptance irritating. Earlier, when you had Vivio's reveal, I truly admired the way you portrayed Vivio's cognitive dissonance while Syn had to face her insecurities and stereotypes. One could feel Vivio try to convince herself as well as Syn that she would trust Syn if she were in the same position. This characters are strong, independent, and confident in their beliefs. Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to see what you're doing with the story, so my small complaint may be answered down the line. However, the push and pull between Vivio and Syn's strong personalities seems to have turned into a tractor beam for Syn to understand Vivio's view without Vivio adjusting her life to incorporate Syn. Even Syn's mother seems to be trying to convince her that she's the only one who should change while Vivio gets a free pass, yet in a real relationship it's the dance of 'give and take' that keeps partners oh-so-confused and yet passionate.

With that said, I'm thoroughly enjoying what you have going here. It's a great read with some genuinely thoughtful moments.
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Old 2008-11-17, 20:12   Link #11043
Vivio Testarossa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
Hows this

Jail = Emperor
Precia = Vader
Alicia = Luke
Fate = Leia
Nanoha = Han Solo
Yunno = Lando
Regius = Grand Moff Tarkin
Numbers = Imperial Guard
Chrono = Admiral Ackbar
Rein II = C-3PO
Agito = R2-D2
Hayate = Wedge Antilies
Zafira = Chewbacca

Tell me what you think.
Chrono: It's a trap!

Who would Arisa and Suzuka be?
Vivio ?
The lezbot Subaru?
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Old 2008-11-17, 20:30   Link #11044
Junkedcat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allquall View Post
Once again, this is my opinion. Harvest what you want.

I like it, but I can't help but feel that something is missing here. The prose is fine, and it flows well, but I find Syn's rapid change toward acceptance irritating. Earlier, when you had Vivio's reveal, I truly admired the way you portrayed Vivio's cognitive dissonance while Syn had to face her insecurities and stereotypes. One could feel Vivio try to convince herself as well as Syn that she would trust Syn if she were in the same position. This characters are strong, independent, and confident in their beliefs. Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to see what you're doing with the story, so my small complaint may be answered down the line. However, the push and pull between Vivio and Syn's strong personalities seems to have turned into a tractor beam for Syn to understand Vivio's view without Vivio adjusting her life to incorporate Syn. Even Syn's mother seems to be trying to convince her that she's the only one who should change while Vivio gets a free pass, yet in a real relationship it's the dance of 'give and take' that keeps partners oh-so-confused and yet passionate.

With that said, I'm thoroughly enjoying what you have going here. It's a great read with some genuinely thoughtful moments.
Indeed, I to think that Vivio needs to give a little to add some realism to it and, well, i do have some ideas on a start.

On Syn's side, realizing that there is a gap between Vivio when on the job and Vivio when its just them should only be a small start, not the fix all that seems to be portrayed in this entry.

And given what we have read in a previous chapter, Vivio's next moves could (or should) make or break some deals. Like say, having sex with random people in the private rooms and not tell Syn about it...
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Old 2008-11-17, 20:31   Link #11045
Seraph42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
Hows this

Jail = Emperor
Precia = Vader
Alicia = Luke
Fate = Leia
Nanoha = Han Solo
Yunno = Lando
Regius = Grand Moff Tarkin
Numbers = Imperial Guard
Chrono = Admiral Ackbar
Rein II = C-3PO
Agito = R2-D2
Hayate = Wedge Antilies
Zafira = Chewbacca

Tell me what you think.
Do able
Let me guess, you've never read any of the Expended universe books have you
But then I bet not many here have
I still think Nanoha would be an excellent Mara Jade(but that would mean Fate would have to be luke), plus that would also give an excuse for Vivio to pop up as luke and Mara have a child together.
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Old 2008-11-17, 20:38   Link #11046
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
Hows this

Jail = Emperor
Precia = Vader
Alicia = Luke
Fate = Leia
Nanoha = Han Solo
Yunno = Lando
Regius = Grand Moff Tarkin
Numbers = Imperial Guard
Chrono = Admiral Ackbar
Rein II = C-3PO
Agito = R2-D2
Hayate = Wedge Antilies
Zafira = Chewbacca

Tell me what you think.
Well the point was to play off Kai's... (and I like Han Solo Hayate myself>.>)


I think Regius would be a good Jabba the Hut personally.
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Old 2008-11-17, 20:45   Link #11047
Seraph42
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I'd like to see who's going to play as Count Doku(spelling), 'cause if Vita's going to be Yoda I wanna know who shes going to go MidEvil on
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:00   Link #11048
Laith
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And dont forget Grievious... even if he was portrayed as weak in the movies, he can quite pwn in the cartoon... *notices that inner star wars fanboy is showing* errh...

*leaves*
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:16   Link #11049
Vivio Testarossa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph42 View Post
I'd like to see who's going to play as Count Doku(spelling), 'cause if Vita's going to be Yoda I wanna know who shes going to go MidEvil on
The answer is that Count Doku would be the "Boob Monster" Signum...
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:19   Link #11050
TheShinySword
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I'm still thinking Signum=Obi wan
any other suggestions
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:30   Link #11051
Seraph42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laith View Post
And dont forget Grievious... even if he was portrayed as weak in the movies, he can quite pwn in the cartoon... *notices that inner star wars fanboy is showing* errh...

*leaves*
You and me both
I also hated how he was portrayed in the movies, but chalked it up to the fact that Mace Windu did Force crush his chast (he was coughing through out the movie)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
I'm still thinking Signum=Obi wan
any other suggestions
It'd be her or Hayate
THen Signum could be Qui-Gon Jinn
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:33   Link #11052
Laith
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph42 View Post
You and me both
I also hated how he was portrayed in the movies, but chalked it up to the fact that Mace Windu did Force crush his chast (he was coughing through out the movie)
Yes, yes still..

Quote:
t'd be her or Hayate
THen Signum could be Qui-Gon Jinn
If Hayate= Obi Wan then Reinforce = Qui-Gon Jinn
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:37   Link #11053
Seraph42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laith View Post
Yes, yes still..
I know, I know it'll be all right *pats Laith*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laith View Post
If Hayate= Obi Wan then Reinforce = Qui-Gon Jinn
True, then Signum = Mace Windu
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Old 2008-11-17, 21:58   Link #11054
Laith
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph42 View Post
I know, I know it'll be all right *pats Laith*
*Patted* :3

Quote:
True, then Signum = Mace Windu
if so then Jail killed Signum... something is not right here... must ponder...
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Old 2008-11-17, 22:14   Link #11055
Seraph42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laith View Post

if so then Jail killed Signum... something is not right here... must ponder...
Ponder all you want, because I'd rather her be offed by the Emperor then a clone.
otherwise she could be Vader's Secret apprentice ( The Force Unleashed)
Spoiler for Spoilers for the game:
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Old 2008-11-17, 22:19   Link #11056
RadiantBeam
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Some NanoFate fluff, post her injury so they're only 11... but hey, I thought it was cute. My first attempt at actual "romance", debating whether or not to put it on FF.net...

Inspired by Nickelback's song "I'd Come For You" from their new album Dark Horse.

Spoiler for Get High:


So, my friends and comrades... what's your ruling?
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Old 2008-11-17, 22:33   Link #11057
Seraph42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Some NanoFate fluff, post her injury so they're only 11... but hey, I thought it was cute. My first attempt at actual "romance", debating whether or not to put it on FF.net...

Inspired by Nickelback's song "I'd Come For You" from their new album Dark Horse.

Spoiler for Get High:


So, my friends and comrades... what's your ruling?
I've never heard the song, but will probably have to now
Cute fic by the way, I liked it

Also your tittle made me think of something else
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Old 2008-11-17, 23:06   Link #11058
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Some NanoFate fluff, post her injury so they're only 11... but hey, I thought it was cute. My first attempt at actual "romance", debating whether or not to put it on FF.net...

Inspired by Nickelback's song "I'd Come For You" from their new album Dark Horse.

Spoiler for Get High:


So, my friends and comrades... what's your ruling?
I'm not sure that I understand the connection to the song, but the story is a giant ball of cuddly, sweet fluff. Well-done, too; I especially like the snowfall imagery at the end and the conversation between Shamal and Fate at the beginning. Honestly, that opening Shamal/Fate sequence is one of the few times I've seen the "kid" version of Fate or Nanoha act like a kid, with the lack of perspective someone that age would actually have. So I like it.
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Old 2008-11-17, 23:12   Link #11059
Evil Rick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
I'm still thinking Signum=Obi wan
any other suggestions
This is my roster >:3

Fate- Luke Skywalker
Alicia: Princess Amidala
Nanoha: Hank Solo
Vita: Master Yoda
Shamal: Master Windu
Signum: Master Obi Wan Kenobi
Reinforce1: Master Qui Gon Ji
Zaphira: Chewbaka
Reinforce2: R2D2
Agito:C3PO
Precia: Darth Vader
Jail: Lord Palpatine
Quattro: General Grevious
Uno: Lord Duku
Duo: Darth Maul
Subaru: Ja Jar Binx
Admiral Lindy: Admiral Akabar

@Kai the Reaper: Yeah, do what you want with the logo, I just made it for fun
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Old 2008-11-17, 23:13   Link #11060
markesellus
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Some NanoFate fluff, post her injury so they're only 11... but hey, I thought it was cute. My first attempt at actual "romance", debating whether or not to put it on FF.net...

Inspired by Nickelback's song "I'd Come For You" from their new album Dark Horse.

Spoiler for Get High:


So, my friends and comrades... what's your ruling?
Aww, Fate is so cute, too bad she didn't think to do that in the actual show. I like that part about Shamal insulting Fate, lol. One reason I find this really good is because it has some good NanoFate vibes coming off of it but there isn't a direct way it's shown. It's all indirect, so if you really didn't like NanoFate you could brush it off as a really cute friendship fic. Either way, I felt the romance. Especially since every time Fate said, "Do you trust me?" I thought OMG! Aladdin asking Jasmin if she trusts him before they go on the magic carpet. Yeah...I'm a dork.

[EDIT] @Kagerou: Lol, I laughed at that too.
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