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Old 2009-02-14, 21:34   Link #1
oompa loompa
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The Melancholy of AnimeSuki forumites - mildly speaking

After a little bit of searching.. I couldnt really find a thread about depression & anxiety although I vaguely remember there being such a thread. Well, here goes. Recently I've been through some severe depression + anxiety. VERY severe. Now I'm much better, but still recovering. My question is, does anxiety change you? have any of you had a similiar experience? Now, I'm wondering what would happen if this depression has changed me.. so that i dont anymore like anime etc anymore. It sounds strange I know, but it seems very real to me at the moment. have any of you had similiar experiences, did you still like anime afterwards? What did you do? right now i'm trying to avoid watching new shows, I feel at some level I wont enjoy them as much as I should, so I'm re-watching. any advice? Or rather, any experiences to share?

Last edited by oompa loompa; 2011-10-22 at 12:33.
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Old 2009-02-14, 22:00   Link #2
TinyRedLeaf
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Originally Posted by oompa loompa View Post
The thing is, I love anime, I really do. I realize now its a huge part of my life. It's more than the escape that I thought it was. Without exaggerating.. I would lose some of the color in my life without it.
No offence, but I think the above is where your problem begins.

I can empathise, but hanging your entire life on just one interest alone is not healthy. There is much more out there waiting for you than just anime.

Incidentally, I think these were the other similar threads you were looking for:
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Old 2009-02-14, 22:07   Link #3
oompa loompa
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err.. alright. that is an exaggeration lol. a rather big one. ill change that. a lot of things make me panic now ( now = recently ) and well, heat of the moment and what not. anyways, any advice or experiences?
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Old 2009-02-14, 22:11   Link #4
TinyRedLeaf
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Go outside. Enjoy the sun. Take photographs. Hang out with your friends. Have a barbecue. Ride a bicycle. Blog.

Anything really. Go ahead and do something instead of moping around feeling sorry for yourself. I know it sounds hard when you're in the middle of a depression, but frankly, that is the only way you'd break yourself out of it.

If you have a confidant(e), don't be afraid to talk to him or her. If no one knows you're feeling blue, then no one will come around to help you out of it.
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Old 2009-02-14, 23:04   Link #5
ClockWorkAngel
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Depression is something which we allow ourselves to be in. Like Leaf says go out enjoy yourself, talk to people, it's the best way to help yourself. Exercise is always great and just doing things you like. Find someplace outside of your home and enjoy the world outside. Go get mug and brood about that it's much healthier than anything you can do inside (I'm not serious, don't get mugged it's a bad feeling ).
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Old 2009-02-14, 23:19   Link #6
Shadow Kira01
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@oompa loompa: If you really like anime, then don't quit. Just watch the happy ones and you should be feeling fine. Many animes tend to be somewhat depressing and if that affects you, then don't watch it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyRedLeaf View Post
Go outside. Enjoy the sun. Take photographs. Hang out with your friends. Have a barbecue. Ride a bicycle. Blog.

Anything really. Go ahead and do something instead of moping around feeling sorry for yourself. I know it sounds hard when you're in the middle of a depression, but frankly, that is the only way you'd break yourself out of it.

If you have a confidant(e), don't be afraid to talk to him or her. If no one knows you're feeling blue, then no one will come around to help you out of it.
I will second that.
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Old 2009-02-14, 23:34   Link #7
Claude_Desravines
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Anxiety can change you, but you're capable of changing yourself, too. Generally, anxiety and depression can manifest as anhedonia--no longer finding pleasure or enjoyment in things you might have before. As you recover from anxiety/depression, the anhedonia goes away; though don't expect it to be overnight, or even in a month. My last bout of depression had me housebound, that was about a year ago, and I'm still rediscovering those interests that I had been unable to find enjoyment in.

But that's kind of a blessing in disguise. Depression, for me, more or less sapped me of my sense of self; with it under control, I thought the best thing to do would be to find that lost self--but that's the strange thing, in rediscovering those interests and activities I also found different ways to see them. You shouldn't be too worried about losing your interest in anime or whatever else you like because you always have the chance to return to them. Instead of getting back the sense of self I had lost, I found new ways to think of myself, different ways of being. That lost self is always there, the activities I enjoyed still are meaningful, but they are just now pieces of a larger work in progress. I know this made so little sense, but I hope you can find something helpful from it.

I agree completely with TinyRedLeaf; have at least one really close person to talk to--isolation makes things so much worse. I think it important to add, though you probably know this already or have heard it ad nauseum, but if you're feeling suicidal or that you can't deal with it, get help. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist, and if you have thoughts of suicide, call emergency or have someone take you to a hospital--there is nothing shameful in that.

I realize you've already said you're feeling better (and I'm happy for you), but I just always think that with respect to this kind of topic, the above paragraph needs saying.

Really though. From my own experience, the biggest hindrance was over-thinking. Instead of debating in your head whether or not to do this or that, just set yourself on auto-pilot and see where it takes you. So, yeah. I hope you keep doing well and getting better.
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Old 2009-02-15, 00:37   Link #8
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I had a depressive moment once in my life, but it was much too long ago for me to remember the specifics. Ask me about my feelings then and I can only generalize. But what got me out of it was finding purpose. I found something I could commit myself to, and the more I did it, the more it defined me and allowed me to find a community I could identify with. Rediscovering my identity was crucial for me, and being confident about it and not being told otherwise was the cure.

I devoted myself to a person, and I confided with her often. I regret that we have grown distant now, but the point I'm trying to elaborate is not that. It's that Human interaction can go a long way. You need someone to project yourself off of, to see your rationale objectively - from a parent, a therapist, or a good friend in my case. People these days have the luxury of an online blog, expression without having to give away the face. That might work too. But for all intents and purposes, life is about interaction. Lose yourself in your own thoughts (alone), and you will over-think and go mad.

Theraputic as it is, I'm not telling anyone to go as far as taking a hike in the woods or joining a book club. All I'm recommending is a chat.
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Old 2009-02-15, 00:44   Link #9
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One of my closest friends died, my finance is in disaster, and I just lost my job, and have to restart my career from scratch.
All within this two months period. It may well be the worst period of my life so far. If I let depression get to me, it won't be very pretty...
Heck, my (old) boss was worried I'm gonna die on the spot from depression when he brought me the news.

I'm taking a long deserved (but unpaid) vacation from life for a week before piecing my life back together. Thank god I have friends and family to fall back on.

I don't know what you're going through in your life, but trust me, the times are tough on many of us.
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Old 2009-02-15, 01:16   Link #10
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If you've got some friends to hang out with, try to arrange something. It doesn't have to be anything big, hanging out an afternoon, watching a movie and chatting it up. It usually helps, even if you don't think it's going to. At the very least, it'll probably take your mind off of it for a brief period. It's pretty obvious advice, but I know from experience it can provide a great deal of relief.

If you don't already, it's always good to have a few hobbies to choose from. If you get tired of anime, try something else for a while, and then go back to watching some more anime, you might realize that all you needed was a bit of variation.
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Old 2009-02-15, 04:03   Link #11
oompa loompa
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thanks for all the help you guys. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was asking for help directly about my depression. My condition doesnt really have a reason, the best that my doctor can guess is that its being caused by a chemical imbalance. However, I'm well on the way to recovery, and I'm well aware how much worse things are for other people - my life before this episode was great, and still is in a number of ways. It's been both good or bad that it isnt completely psychological - On one hand theres no reason for the depression or anxiety, its just there, so its tough to convince yourself that things will get better. On the other hand, it's become easier to control, since I look at it just like I'd look at a cold or cough, as strange as that may sound. It has most certainly been a difficult experience, but I dont have any doubts about the fact that I will eventually get through this, or learn to control it - I exercise regularly ( it makes a WORLD of difference ), have been on a strict anti-depression diet ( specifically a serotonin enhancing one - thats what ive been recommended ), medications, and have great friends & family for support. That along with the fact that I do feel much better than before, I see absolutely no reason to believe I wont get through this, and get through it in the visible future . I was just asking specifically about whether it affects your likes / dislikes etc in the long run. At any rate thanks for all your suggestions and help

Last edited by oompa loompa; 2009-02-15 at 04:36.
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Old 2009-02-15, 04:42   Link #12
Xvoki
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Glad to hear your recovering, depression always fades away eventually. I get it myself so I know how it feels.

As for losing interest in anime, depression does make you lose interest in many things you enjoy, buts its usually only temporary. Anyway, throughout life people do lose interest in hobbies quite naturally and find new ones along the way, you'll discover that as you get older.
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Old 2009-02-15, 04:48   Link #13
oompa loompa
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Originally Posted by Xvoki View Post
Glad to hear your recovering, depression always fades away eventually. I get it myself so I know how it feels.

As for losing interest in anime, depression does make you lose interest in many things you enjoy, buts its usually only temporary. Anyway, throughout life people do lose interest in hobbies quite naturally and find new ones along the way, you'll discover that as you get older.
naturally, it happens to everyone and has already happened enough to me to recognize it. but losing interest in things ( for me atleast - so far ) has always been gradual. This whole incident on the other hand.. has been extremely abrupt - and is completely alien to me. I'm still trying to figure out a lot of what im going through/went through. an abrupt loss of interest worried me, and worrying is an extremely bad thing right now.. strange, the obvious solution to this would be to not worry at all, but once started its difficult to stop - reading the replies on this thread have been extremely reassuring - thank you guys again.
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Old 2009-02-15, 05:25   Link #14
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I've been through a lot of depressions and melancholic phases during the past 3-4 years and as sad as it sounds, Anime, Mangas and VNs always got me out of it. I could relate to some characters in those works, although I knew they are just fictional. I didn't go talk to people or hang around with friends or anything because most of these people wouldn't understand anyway. I like to keep things to myself, and when I'm feeling anxious or depressed I usually try to cheer up myself by doing something that makes me proud of myself. As previously mentioned Anime, Manga, VNs and reading helps me a lot. This is just my personal way of dealing with depression but it works wonders for me. I, for one, can't hear this typical psychologist talk ('go out and meet people') anymore, simply because it made things worse for me back then. I wouldn't call myself a hikikomori, though I sure was pretty close to it's definition. Depression is something everyone has a different way of dealing with and there's no quick solution to it, it takes time and willpower to get yourself out of it - yourself.
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Old 2009-02-15, 05:29   Link #15
Jazzrat
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Hmmmm depression is just the normal cycle of anyone's life. It's just how you dealt with it. I think everyone would go through a very severe case of depression atleast once in their lifetime so don't be bothered by the fact you are going through one.

I've gone through a few, from death of friends, studies, work and my responsibility. I can't say I notice any permanent effect on me except how to deal with it better with the next relapse. I just felt silly for getting so dragged down by something so normal to everybody else. After awhile, i just take it as a fact of life, get over it quickly and move onto the more interesting things before i kicked the bucket.

It's kinda funny to me how everyone goes for those "anti depressent" pills. I think it's dangerous to rely on chemicals to get yourself out of these depression. It might be useful for the really really extreme case where possibility of suicide is certain but otherwise, i steer clear of it personally;.

The best way for me to tackle this was to do whatever I felt like doing. Sometimes it's gorging on junkfood (they work wonders i tell ya), anime series marathon, videogame marathon or learn to cook better. Just things to give u a boost of fulfillment or accomplishment.
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Old 2009-02-15, 05:30   Link #16
Xvoki
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Quickly losing interest in hobbies is not uncommon with depresson as I discovered myself. It can be a frightening experience for anyone, and its difficult to explain it to others who haven’t experienced it themselves, but depression does fade away. It takes time of course as the healing process is a slow one, but rest assured it will fade away eventually. ^^
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Old 2009-02-15, 07:22   Link #17
Amray
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I think that you need to revolve your life around something new and create new interests. I always do such things to keep me going in life and to help me get through life. I am not telling you to stop watching anime, not at all, but to just add something new to your life as well as anime.

For example; I am a star pupil in college because of my work, attitude and effort. Yet at the same time as my research and coursework I watch anime, read a lot of manga, go out with friends to do things (parties and such), and I sometimes attempt drawing.

Anime became an interest to me because I appreciate artwork and the Japanese culture. I fancied Japanese girls before anything with regards to Japan. Their art always interested me so I started to watch their animated productions. After a while I started to read manga as the art was just as good and also it was just the original workings of one or two individuals, usually with amazing plots. Then because I liked manga a lot I started drawing too.

Nevertheless I am always outside, maintaining a social life by being with friends (that do not really have any serious interest in anime, which makes my being with them different) or just by simply meeting new people. I have many different interests so I can get on and do practically anything. I am also very easy to befriend and to get along with. Family is also another close and important issue when in a bad state.

By doing many different things, notably active ones, I am a very healthy person in many areas. I can feel a bit depressed sometimes but because of my personality and atmosphere I can get through it.
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Old 2009-02-15, 11:23   Link #18
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The problem with mental problems is that they often find it hard to break from their thoughts which keep looping, they end up breaking down or becoming extremely rigid as though their beliefs are the only things they have left (most of the time it actually is).

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was only 14, though the disorder tends to affect people who are closer to adulthood. Up till now I am still suffering from the repercussions of subconsciously arguing out my stand whether it be a serious issue or not, and I get easily affected by comments like "because God made it so", "life is like this", "this is the <insert name of government organisation here>", "show some respect for your elders" which automatically prompts me to blast the person to shreds with my words. It makes me even more pissed when people use ad hominem or authority to discredit my reasoning.

Even up till today I still have problems fitting into the mainstream society, and counseling become rather ineffective as I have been reading up extensively during my personal isolation, screwing counselors and people who try to talk "sense" into me has become a routine in which I go through. Heck I even have people branding me as a would-be terrorist for discussing bomb-making and surreptitious entry into KINs with them!

After discussing so much about myself, I shall drive the point home, that mental problems often stem from inquisition. The human brain has a limit to the number of questions it can hold, and the number of answers it can give. The only thing we can do to help such people is to :

1. Accept them for who they are. Everyone has flaws.

2. Do not indoctrinate them into societal norms. Rather give them your OPINION on how should they act then give valid reasons. Don't disagree with them all the time, I bet my pants and my waifu Honoka that there is bound to be a similar belief or topic both of you can engage in and use as a leverage to hold your friendship together.

3. Don't give up on them. Given how twisted they have become as a result of their surroundings and themselves, hope is probably the last shred of humanity they have left in them.

From my personal experience being such a person and with such people, common traits of such people would be....

1. Cynicism. Most of what they say can be too pragmatic and sound extremely hopeless. It is a danger sign when they stop saying it, the reason why they rant about such things is because they HOPE that someone will help them change their lives.

2. Common panic and anxiety, can be seen from speech patterns (tripping and stumbling), talk and not look at someone in the eye, probably out of fear (though I am a big talker, I find it hard to look at people in the eye up till now.)

3. Attention seeking. The reason why they do "weird" things. Society seems to be less forgiving and lock them up.

The outcomes of such illnesses, if left unidentified or untreated can lead to 2 tendencies, namely suicidal and homicidal. I am the latter inclined, so there is a high chance if people around me refuses to befriend me up till now, I might conduct a Akihabara slashings similar to the one last June (I can say that for a raging madman, the methodical conduct of such a crime is simple yet ingenious).

If you are one to look for material benefits in friendship (pragmatic, realistic yet asinine), these are the people worth befriending. They think too much, and by channeling their innate abilities to out-think others in terms of creativity and logic in a different direction, can sometimes reap you more benefits than a team put together (something to do with absence of bureaucracy). But be aware that these people are clingy and sometimes mercenary, be prepared for some sacrifice.

I think it went a little off-topic, and it is a little too long. Ah well, heck with it.
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Old 2009-02-15, 13:21   Link #19
oompa loompa
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Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
It's kinda funny to me how everyone goes for those "anti depressent" pills. I think it's dangerous to rely on chemicals to get yourself out of these depression. It might be useful for the really really extreme case where possibility of suicide is certain but otherwise, i steer clear of it personally;.
It's funny that you mention that. Naturally, avoiding medications if possible is the natural thing to do. but the condition i had made it more difficult - it actually happened like this. note - i have NEVER had a panic/anxiety attack before, hence i guess i dealt with it badly- I just woke up one day, feeling slightly drowsy, and noticed i had only slept 4 and a half hours , after a long long day before. I started getting slightly anxious about my sleep, as i didnt feel sleepy at all. i found this anxiousness unsettling, so i became anxious about whether the anxiousness would go away. Before i knew it, my heart was beating so hard i could hear it clearly. I began to piece together what might have caused it, and i searched on the internet - a BAD idea. i came upon testimonial upon testimonial about people who had similiar experiences last decade and still hadnt recovered - which made my anxiety peak. I tried desperately to cry, but all it made me do was breathe so hard i had to puke. I called my parents, only to realize i was halfway accross the world from them, suddenly i was in a new hostile environment. I tried to rationalize - this was just a panic attack, it would pass eventually. it didnt. i couldnt sleep for a day , and have only recently started smiling and laughing again ( much to the relief of friends and family ) and immediately went to see a doctor ( which is expensive here, it was amazing that i was able to make an appointment in a day as well - lucky for me ) and was absolutely unreasonable to the point where i demanded medicines. not that he gave it to me lol, but after a week it didnt improve, so i was recommended some medication.

Now the point of this is if you do read this, a lot of the decisions i made, and a lot of my thought process wasnt very rational at all. I have pieced together more or less why there was a chemical imbalance, and now i realize it would have passed eventually anyways, if i exercised regularly, ate the right foods, had people to lean on, and most importantly recognize when i was having an attack. my body would fix itself. i just had to last it out for a little longer, till it improved enough to get back into some sort of daily routine. the whole reason why i was flung into this condition was absolutely silly in the first place. now, i know better. i know what to do if i have an anxiety attack ( it happens a few less times everyday now ). once you get caught up in either anxiety or depression, its exceedingly difficult to control it - these medications provide great reassurance, if nothing else, so i empathize with the people who turn to them.

Ahh.. it was great to get that off my shoulders. Its one thing to talk to people about it, and its a whole other to write about it - another irrational thing, talking about it, which ive only been able to do recently helps, every time i do it.

Last edited by oompa loompa; 2009-02-15 at 13:42.
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Old 2009-02-15, 13:22   Link #20
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Originally Posted by oompa loompa View Post
My question is, does anxiety change you? have any of you had a similiar experience? any advice? Or rather, any experiences to share?
Does anxiety change you, of course it does but you can gain some control over it by simply confronting that which you are anxious about, I for instance am always anxious when I have to speak to even the smallest kind of crowd, this because of teasing I've went through as a child, in the beginning I never had the courage to talk to huge crowds until I simply kicked myself in the ass and did it (this was in College lol) and before I started I told the people I was talking to that I have an anxiety problem when it comes to doing presentations of all sorts and that if I were to cry they should just act as if nothing is happening because it would just be me being anxious and if people would comment on it it would only get worse, I did the presentation and of course 2 minutes into it I got so nervous that I started crying and so I was doing my presentation with waterfalls running down my cheeks The class said nothing in return and when it was over I was excused to wash my face and I was really relieved that I was able to do it, several times after I still cried during a presentation but after a school year most of the anxiety was already gone because I got used to speaking to a group. Anxiety will never really disappear, no matter how much you wish for it, it would take many years for it to slowly fade away. But when it comes to anxiety and depression just realise that everything has a purpose and that you life for something even when you don't know what it is, if you're at that stage you still have to figure out what it is you want to do in your life and strife for that. If something bad happens then don't give up, you learn from them and continue no matter how bad it might get there is always something people strife for, it can even be something simple like cooking delicious food to being able to see the clouds every day, it is the little things that will make you happy I've been through loads of bad things and I've experienced depression myself, I never went on any pills or anything, in fact I simply locked myself up in my bedroom for 6 months under the excuse that I was sick but eventually I realised that every day when I would ride home from school I simply enjoyed the wind and clouds and that was a reason for me to go back to school again, also I did it for my dog
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