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Old 2009-03-12, 17:39   Link #3761
escimo
Paparazzi
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ice Box
Age: 32
^Cool isn't actually the first thing that comes to mind...


A few pics.

Spoiler for size:
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Old 2009-03-12, 20:03   Link #3762
King Lycan
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 23
Linux FTW


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Old 2009-03-12, 21:05   Link #3763
sa547
Senior Member
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Philippines
Age: 37
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/0...o-manga-debut/ (Contents NSFW!) -- this satirical eromanga "demonstrates" the Man's sex appeal. Not much to be said for his Japanese counterpart, except for hitting on the current Secretary of State.
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Old 2009-03-12, 23:37   Link #3764
Demongod86
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big sex organ or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
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Old 2009-03-13, 00:11   Link #3765
Sinfully Naomi
Teddytears
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In that place where the stuff is at.
Age: 17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big sex organ or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
XD That was too funny!
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Old 2009-03-13, 09:39   Link #3766
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big sex organ or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!



No comment.
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Old 2009-03-13, 10:24   Link #3767
Jill Valentine
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Derelict Apartment Block
Lol i really love this joke, it's totaly true about men, no offence guys



A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.

Exicited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much. He showed her the study results.

It read: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said "What?"

Last edited by Jill Valentine; 2009-03-13 at 12:58.
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Old 2009-03-13, 13:53   Link #3768
Sinfully Naomi
Teddytears
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In that place where the stuff is at.
Age: 17
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lol repitition.
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Old 2009-03-13, 13:57   Link #3769
Jill Valentine
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Derelict Apartment Block
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinfully Naomi View Post
lol repitition.
Lol i really laughed when i saw it
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Old 2009-03-13, 16:26   Link #3770
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
------------
Once upon a time, a man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted. "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."


The man below replied. "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 50 and 51 degrees north latitude and between 114 and 115 degrees west longitude."


"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.


"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"


"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to do to make use of your information.
The fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all.
If anything, you've delayed my trip."


The man below responded, "You must be in management."


"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"


"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, you've managed to make it my fault!!"
------------
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Old 2009-03-13, 16:33   Link #3771
Jill Valentine
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Derelict Apartment Block

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room

best one i saw too it happened like this before


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Old 2009-03-13, 17:27   Link #3772
Evangelion Xgouki
NERV Personnel
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tokyo 3, Japan
Age: 29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuppy Cake View Post

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room

best one i saw too it happened like this before


I was waiting for the student to exclaim something out his being the exam that would pierce the heavens
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Old 2009-03-13, 23:13   Link #3773
Demongod86
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Solafighter View Post
------------
Once upon a time, a man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted. "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."


The man below replied. "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 50 and 51 degrees north latitude and between 114 and 115 degrees west longitude."


"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.


"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"


"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to do to make use of your information.
The fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all.
If anything, you've delayed my trip."


The man below responded, "You must be in management."


"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"


"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, you've managed to make it my fault!!"
------------
There is actually far more truth in that joke than you'd like to believe.

Why do you think we're in this economic crisis?

Edit: New joke for the day (it's not too funny this time >_<)

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." To stress his point he said to another guest, "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"
Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?"
(She paused for a second, then began...) "Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.
"You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.) ''I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write.
"Keyboarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their brain, not the man-made calculator.
"I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, because we live in the United States of America.
"Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life." (Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.) "Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant... You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE!”
"What do you make Mr. CEO?" His jaw dropped, he went silent.

Of course...here's what they don't tell you:

Who makes the best teachers?

www.mathforamerica.org (math for America, a nonprofit organization started by a HEDGE FUND MANAGER that earned 1.5 BILLION dollars in 2007 who is the 55th richest person IN THE WORLD off of math...and the idol of all aspiring quantitative money-makers )
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Old 2009-03-14, 12:49   Link #3774
escimo
Paparazzi
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ice Box
Age: 32
Here's a golden oldie.

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant who obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golf pro is.

“Top of the mornin to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick ‘hello’ and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

“What are those”, asks the attendant.

“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.

“Well, what on God’s earth are dey for.” inquires the Irishman.

“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger.

“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything.”
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Old 2009-03-14, 15:58   Link #3775
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows








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Old 2009-03-14, 23:03   Link #3776
Po99okie
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
Age: 19
That officer must have really been dying.
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Old 2009-03-15, 14:31   Link #3777
Jill Valentine
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Derelict Apartment Block
A young executive was working late one night trying to impress his new boss. He stepped out of the office for a minute to get some coffee when he saw his boss standing at the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Do you know how to work this darn thing?" the boss bellowed.

The young man ran over and took the paper out of his hand. "Oh yes sir," he said, "it�s quite simple." He then fed the piece of paper into the shredder.

"Thank you, son," the boss said. "A couple of copies will be fine."

he is totaly fired


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Old 2009-03-15, 15:49   Link #3778
LeoXiao
提倡自我工業化
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuppy Cake View Post
A young executive was working late one night trying to impress his new boss. He stepped out of the office for a minute to get some coffee when he saw his boss standing at the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Do you know how to work this darn thing?" the boss bellowed.

The young man ran over and took the paper out of his hand. "Oh yes sir," he said, "it�s quite simple." He then fed the piece of paper into the shredder.

"Thank you, son," the boss said. "A couple of copies will be fine."

he is totaly fired


That's actually kinda sad.

@Solafighter, Video #2: Imagine if that happened mid-battle lol
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Old 2009-03-15, 16:12   Link #3779
Jill Valentine
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Derelict Apartment Block
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeoXiao View Post
That's actually kinda sad.

@Solafighter, Video #2: Imagine if that happened mid-battle lol
it is, but he should've asked him before shredding it
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Old 2009-03-15, 19:31   Link #3780
Zu Ra
✖ ǝʇ ɯıqnɾl ☆
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mortuary : D
Movie Poster Edits from Something.Awful



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