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Old 2009-03-02, 20:15   Link #1061
0utf0xZer0
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by rio View Post
y.. you are awesome.. especially the quotes
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
and
Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.




you are a very playboy, aren't you? or is it usual to do for boys ?

i haven't seen boys doing that in Japan.. maybe they are shy . They aren't good at praising girls .
The question is, would it be considered outrageous for a Japanese guy to try doing those things? I was under the impression that public displays of affection were less socially acceptable in Japan than in most western countries.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi
What do you have trouble with? I'd call the girl a day or two after you get her number, and ask her if she wanted to go out some time. Have a time and place in mind in case she can't decide. If you have trouble getting the words out, text her. I did that.
I guess my apprehension has more to do with the idea of asking her out in general than with the phone call itself. I end up wondering "how am I supposed to make it worth her while to go out with me?" And on top of that, in at least one specific case I get the impression that the girl's parents keep a rather close eye on her...
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Old 2009-03-02, 20:24   Link #1062
klowny
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I remember my first date very well because i made her pay for the pizza, so free meal!
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Old 2009-03-02, 20:50   Link #1063
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
*leaning on the wall, arms crossed continuing to observe this thread quietly*
Same here

But I have to reply to that:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
False statement.
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Old 2009-03-02, 22:16   Link #1064
rio
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
The question is, would it be considered outrageous for a Japanese guy to try doing those things? I was under the impression that public displays of affection were less socially acceptable in Japan than in most western countries.
NO, not that. Japanese society is not so strict now, so people can show their affection in a casual situation. They try to get a girlfriend in public displays.
The men just don't like praising women even in casual scenes. i have rarely been praised by Japanese men, and most of the time that they praised me, they were really thinking so from bottom of the heart , and not having the intention to make me happy or whatever.
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Old 2009-03-03, 08:36   Link #1065
xia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
Thats actually pretty smooth.
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Old 2009-03-03, 09:24   Link #1066
Kusa-San
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post

If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
You're serious when you said that


Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona

False statement.
So true

Seriously i don't like at all people thinking like that. Each woman is unique don't make generality. I know many woman who don't like that and the truth is i will never do that to a woman. For me, it's not respect them.
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Old 2009-03-03, 09:49   Link #1067
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
So true

Seriously i don't like at all people thinking like that. Each woman is unique don't make generality. I know many woman who don't like that and the truth is i will never do that to a woman. For me, it's not respect them.
How so? What I said is just to point that it doesn't "always" work, because as you said, each woman is different and can act very differently. But it's up to the woman to accept that approach or not. Kakashi didn't say to "force them" (even if I am not ok with the "being a little drunk part".)

A girl can, for example:

- Accept that type of approach and so, accept to be kissed.

- She can refuse. Not all the girls like to see a man touching their hair or wanting a kiss just after having met each other, or even just after a few rendez-vous. And not all the girl accept to share a kiss just because they received a compliment.

- Depending on the girl and what she thinks is right. If she doesn't like when someone touch her hair out of the blue, and/or if she doesn't like those who aim for a kiss just like that, she can go as far as kicking you in the balls. (I saw that kind of things happening)

etc etc.

There's not a thing that works for sure. And it's the same about what she will think of it, a girl can see that as totally normal, while another will just see that as a playboy/gigolo trick that she dislikes. And so will reject him.

Last edited by Narona; 2009-03-03 at 10:14.
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Old 2009-03-03, 10:56   Link #1068
Kakashi
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I meant after going out with a girl at least a couple times, that technique has worked for me every time. I'm also making the assumption that people have enough common sense to discern the mood and act accordingly, as well as realising that it very much depends on the relationship dynamic. Most girls I've dated have shown interest in me beforehand, so it's easier to make that sort of move with that in mind. If you have no clue exactly how a girl feels about you, and it almost seems like an uphill battle for her approval, I would never be quite so bold.

Really, most people will know if the time is right for a kiss, it's just a matter of not being clumsy about it and ruining the moment. That's more what I meant by the 'never fails' part. Gets the job done and it's pretty smooth like xia said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I guess my apprehension has more to do with the idea of asking her out in general than with the phone call itself. I end up wondering "how am I supposed to make it worth her while to go out with me?" And on top of that, in at least one specific case I get the impression that the girl's parents keep a rather close eye on her...
Because you're an awesome guy which any girl would be lucky to spend time with? Doesn't really matter if she wastes her time with you, think of it as a learning experience. My first date didn't go very well, however I learned how to make the next one better. That said, sometimes it's the not your fault at all. At times the girl can be unresponsive and weirdly cold without any clear reason (some are like that), in which case get the hell out of that relationship. Or it could turn out the two of you were never really compatible to begin with, not uncommon.

Last edited by Kakashi; 2009-03-03 at 11:09.
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Old 2009-03-30, 14:03   Link #1069
incorrupts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post
I think you can read and memorize all the tips and tricks that go with dating, but they never really help much. As a guy, what helped me most was to dive straight in and get experience. It really is a simple matter of doing it.

What do girls look for in a guy? Who gives a shit. How can I get a girl to like me? You can't, you can only be yourself and believe that a girl will like that person. You say that, but a girl has never approached me or shown interest in me? That's because you don't give yourself the chance. Go to parties, or someplace with a crapload of ladies. You'll make mistakes and feel like a complete douche without a doubt, just don't take it too seriously because it doesn't matter. Most girls will overlook any flaw if they like your vibe.

Hakisak's advice is good because it doesn't overcomplicate the issue. And yes, please get over 2D girls if that happens to be holding you back.
This, so hard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
You're serious when you said that




So true

Seriously i don't like at all people thinking like that. Each woman is unique don't make generality. I know many woman who don't like that and the truth is i will never do that to a woman. For me, it's not respect them.
Touching a girl's hair, does not mean that a guy does not respect them. 8D
That can even go, to the friends-field too.
Not all of them might like it, that is true, but no way, it is not respect.
And i think Kakashi's "never fails" was more of a simple-cool-statement, not that literally "never fails". 8D
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Old 2009-03-30, 16:08   Link #1070
Cinocard
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Same here

But I have to reply to that:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
False statement.
It depends an awfully lot on who is the girl, not ourselves or the actual mood. But at the end of parties, I often held their hands up, looked at it for seconds, face seemingly tired but with a gentle smile. Then put it down, held it tightly, not let go and looked away. Effect? They shivered every next time I held their hands.

Going directly for a kiss often sounds cool, but girls always digs it up and think "he did kiss me swiftly, didn't he? Why not with others girl?" When they are actually on the right track, it's a bother to us men
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Old 2009-03-30, 17:52   Link #1071
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinocard View Post
It depends an awfully lot on who is the girl, not ourselves or the actual mood. But at the end of parties, I often held their hands up, looked at it for seconds, face seemingly tired but with a gentle smile. Then put it down, held it tightly, not let go and looked away. Effect? They shivered every next time I held their hands.

Going directly for a kiss often sounds cool, but girls always digs it up and think "he did kiss me swiftly, didn't he? Why not with others girl?" When they are actually on the right track, it's a bother to us men
As Kakashi said it, I guess that you're talking about girls who are willing to have physical contact (in that case, to let their hands being hold by you) and so have an interest in you. But trying something like that with a girl that you just met might not work at all

Well, it's not about being on the right track For some girls (not all, but I am talking about a certain category), they want sincerity. In that case, a kiss is seen as something important, while some men just do that on purpose, while they are not in love at all, and just want to have some fun with a girl.

Xris deleted a post while I was about to reply to it, but I guess I am in the category of girls who dislike (a lot) the men who just try to score. Sometimes, it feels as if people talk about "tricks" to get a girl. It feels like it's not about making said girl to fall in love because the man loves her, it feels as if it was "how can I *trick* a girl to get in her bed".
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Old 2009-03-30, 18:26   Link #1072
Cinocard
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No, no, notice that I said "at the end of parties?" When they are tired and calmed down already (and of course we'd had some fun before that), most of them don't bother let their hand be held (and yet they let their fantasy goes wild, like "this guy is unconsciously attracted to me" or things of the like ) Believe me, it's a much more safer and stable approach.

And as the first impression is important, if you too smoothly kiss a girl the first time you meet her, and she's the doubtful type, it will cause lots, lots of trouble later. If you know that 70% of women in relationship spy on their partner
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Old 2009-03-30, 19:43   Link #1073
Cut-Tongue
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Seattle
Age: 34
Cut-Tongue's Pointers for Getting a Date in the First Place:

- shave
- work out, get down to your height's optimal weight
- don't wear wolf shirts, trench coats, ponytails, cargo pants
- do wear jeans, sweaters, button up shirts, stylish haircuts
- smell good (small amount of cologne, brush and floss every day)
- if you can, use contacts

- don't talk about geeky hobbies too much
- smile and make jokes
- don't be too aggressive
- DO NOT LEAVE NOTES OR FLOWERS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT AT HER WORKPLACE
- leave one voicemail at a time
- offer to eat lunch or have coffee with her
- go dancing
- go do physical things like light sports, running, go to the beach
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Old 2009-03-30, 23:03   Link #1074
Throne Invader
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I've gone on some dates before back when I was residing in New York. A very important rule for me is "no kisses on the first date". But I believe alot of other girls have the same rule. Actually being part Asian, I absolutely don't do kissing at all on dates.
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Old 2009-03-30, 23:13   Link #1075
Cut-Tongue
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmoreDoll View Post
Actually being part Asian, I absolutely don't do kissing at all on dates.


Why would being part Asian keep you from kissing someone on a date? Also, both boys and girls are going to have a problem with a person who never kisses them.
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Old 2009-03-30, 23:22   Link #1076
Throne Invader
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cut-Tongue View Post


Why would being part Asian keep you from kissing someone on a date? Also, both boys and girls are going to have a problem with a person who never kisses them.
Well, principals come into play. And it's a big no-no for my parents. And yes from previous posts it's how you were raised. In my opinion, not kissing each other isn't really a big problem. Hugs are already good enough for dates. Hugs and kisses are both signs of affection kissing being more extreme.
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Old 2009-03-30, 23:38   Link #1077
LeoXiao
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 22
Aren't Asian people generally conservative about touching other people in most situations anyway? My mom who is Chinese occasionally talks about how it seems strange to her that Westerners are so open to touching and kissing (pats, hugs, stuff like that).
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Old 2009-03-31, 00:18   Link #1078
Throne Invader
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeoXiao View Post
Aren't Asian people generally conservative about touching other people in most situations anyway? My mom who is Chinese occasionally talks about how it seems strange to her that Westerners are so open to touching and kissing (pats, hugs, stuff like that).
*High five on that one*
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Old 2009-03-31, 00:23   Link #1079
LeoXiao
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Originally Posted by AmoreDoll View Post
*High five on that one*
My thanks.
though I was really just explaining something.
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Old 2009-03-31, 00:50   Link #1080
Cinocard
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In the end, it comes down to how much feeling those action convey. But should one's opinion, or one's partner's opinion matter more in this? I mean, an Asian guy may not refrain from kissing his Europe girlfriend, because she doesn't care much of it. On the other hand, an Europe guy may not be so aggressive toward his Asian girlfriend.

Well, the rarer you do it, the more effective it will bring when you put it into action. So, well, I guess in Asian case it may be considered an investment?
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